


Code Cerulean

by TashaVick87



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Bond-esque theme, Braime - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Modern Era, Pain, Sexual Content, Violence, b x j, badass braime, but it does get better no worries, j x b, my effin otp for the win, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-05-15 08:06:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 46,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19291678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TashaVick87/pseuds/TashaVick87
Summary: Jaime Lannister is an assassin. Of sorts. His latest mark is Brienne Tarth.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work will have roughly 30 chapters and an epilogue. I had actually written and posted this exact same storyline before, for a pairing in a fandom I used to be part of (don't ask, it still hurts, it was awful what happened to it) and all it was missing for it to no longer be a WIP was an epilogue(which I am now in the process of writing for this storyline, do not fret, this will not remain a WIP). 
> 
> Even as I wrote it for that old pairing of mine, I realized I was losing passion for it, as it didn't quite fit with the people I was writing it for, so I took it off my profile, couldn't take looking at it.
> 
> Enter s8 of GoT. Heartbreak and bitter canon rolled into one - as all my Braime shippers will concur.So, I realized that this story fit Brienne and Jaime so much better than the other pairing. So, in their honor(and in honor of Gwen and Nik who have been true Captains of this amazing ship) I give you - Code Cerulean.
> 
> I will update daily or every other day, as I revise and tweak the chapters. Some chapters will be longer, some shorter, some more emotional, some more on the action-y side.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you like it, and please, let me know what you think, reading comments is always such a treat that leaves a permagrin on my face throughout the day :)

Chapter 1

 

  


’’We’re going in blind?’’

’’Well I wouldn’t say that...but we are definitely under-prepared.’’

’’Lovely.’’

’’Well, honestly, you fookin’ cocksucker, what did you want me to say?’’

’’Oh, I don’t know, something along the lines of – _’’My days of murdering unsuspecting civilians are long gone and don’t drag my partner into it either, you utter cunts’’_ might have done the trick. That’s what I did...or at least tried to do.’’

’’You cannot talk to Them like that, Lannister. And I would like to stick around with my bank account and health intact thank you very much. You know full well that much as it wasn’t your choice, this career isn’t exactly what I’d pictured myself doing for the rest of my life, either.’’

’’I know. I know...sorry.’’

Jaime pushed away a lock of hair that had obscured his vision and looked up at his partner.

’’So...what’s in the file?’’

’’The usual. A jpeg.  Her timetable and map of the house.’’

Bronn turned his phone over to Jaime.

’’A woman?’’

Jaime had one rule. No women and children. Most of the time, They took it under advisement, but it seemed like one woman in particular wasn’t going to be pardoned this time.

’’Jay, I keep telling you... It’s not exactly a walk in the park trying to negotiate with The Committee. You know damn well that if they want someone gone, that someone will disappear whether we want them to or not. And this way... you said it yourself last time...we can at least be as merciful as possible.’’

’’Service with a smile, eh Bronn?’’

Jaime grinned cruelly at Bronn and at his own words, knowing he was being a complete bastard, but couldn’t help himself. Ever since he had been left paralyzed after the IED blew him up in Afghanistan he was in debt to an unknown entity that had all but cornered him into doing their dirty work by paying exorbitant sums of money for state of the art surgeries that helped him walk again. He’d had no idea what he was getting himself into until it was all done and he was almost miraculously healed and on his feet again. Though when he thought about it, maybe taking Their money was preferable to taking it from Cersei who now held the entire Lannister fortune in her grip and wouldn't have given Jaime the time of day let alone anything resembling funds either way. And good riddance to it. At least Tyrion was safe and sound with Tysha in Switzerland and none of the mayhem could touch him.

It was after his recovery that the ’’assignments’’ started. At first he was more than outraged and tried to argue his way out of it with the man they’d sent to be his handler, but, just like he knew it would be, it was pointless. The surveillance footage they showed him of Myrcella and Tommen, indicating very clearly what they were prepared to do if he didn’t fall in line, made his throat clog up and his teeth grind in suppressed anger.

And on the night that bullet took the life of his first victim, he drank himself to sleep. This became a gruesome tradition after each new death he’d caused, the feeling of helplessness growing harder in his stomach, a festering cancer he was unwilling to battle, for it meant he was at least paying some of the price for the lives he’d taken.

It pressed on him so much that, in time, he’d become better at it. At compartmentalizing. Ten years down the line, he was completely isolated from Tyrion, and Myrcella and Tommen had grown up and it suited him. He was alone and happy it was so. His rapport with his family was absolutely nonexistent and he couldn’t help but believe that it was that very fact that had made Their calls thin and eventually stop altogether. After an entire decade he hoped maybe They had grown tired of blackmailing him using Myrcella and Tommen.

Maybe - and that’s where the guilt kicked in harder - maybe they’d found another crack shot in the army who’d had the misfortune of getting themselves blown up. The fear and elation which mixed at the thought that this is why they would leave him alone made him nauseous. More guilt to add to the pile. The money they were putting into his bank account after each mark was obviously simply another ploy to keep him calm. If ever he rebelled there would be a money trail linking him to some highly unsavory people.

Just as the months of freedom from the tyranny of his very own private killing fields had begun in earnest, another call came.

He was busy working on his motorbike and the minute he heard the blasted ringtone he’d assigned Them, he could have happily knocked himself out cold with his wrench if it meant it would stop.

As it was, old Pavlovian response kicking in, he’d answered it.

And that is how he found himself yet again waiting for an unsuspecting target. Bronn was assigned as his number 2, which is why he was entirely suspicious- more so than usual - about the nature of the job. In the ten years he’d been blackmailed into a life of organized death, he’d only had to team up with Bronn a handful of times, most memorably in order to take down a drug baron of a Colombian cartel. For the purpose of advancing a baron of a Russian one, Jaime was sure. He might be a mere fixture for these people, but he was by no means stupid.

Something heavy was going on this time and he swore to tread carefully with this one, more than he ever did.

’’Let’s see the file before she gets here...’’

As he browsed through it, he was struck by the image of a tall blonde woman, possibly in her mid-thirties, scowling at him.. It looked as though she was in the middle of a formal gala or fundraiser (but was most likely hating every minute of it), her navy colored floor-length evening dress dazzling in it splendor, the satin falling off her shoulders and cascading perfectly to a strong waist, flaring downwards with a subtle inviting quality.

Jaime swallowed hard, the ever present guilt now fully awake and growing by the second.  He somehow managed to tear his eyes away and  scroll down to the woman’s itinerary on the next page of the file.

’’Looks like she should be here in thirty minutes.’’, he uttered under his breath.

’’I’d say so. Back door?’’

Jaime could only nod once, and follow mutely as the cover of night and the sound of crickets expertly hid the sound of his raging heartbeat and nausea at the thought of Brienne Tarth's blood on his hands.

* * *

 

 

Brienne hurried to her front door, eager to get to the bottle of wine she knew had her name on it. Work had been a perfect menace and she needed something to calm her down and soothe the frayed edges.

She never needed hard liquor more.

 

* * *

 

 

At the sound of the key in the lock, Jaime and Bronn froze in place.

''She's early!'', Bronn muttered.

''Really, Captain Obvious? I never would have guessed. Shut up and get out.''

As they turned to retrace their steps they saw the back door they'd jimmied open using Bronn's trusty lock-picking kit had bolted shut again with a little help of the evening breeze. There was no way they would be able to pick it again without making at least a modicum of noise - noise their target was most likely to hear very clearly in the otherwise silent house.

Panicking, Bronn looked back at Jaime, a question in his eyes. Jaime looked round frantically, knowing that within seconds their cover would be blown and...Well...he knew the outcome would probably be the same considering what their ultimate goal was, but somehow he pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he shoved Bronn into the thankfully half-empty cupboard under the nearest stairs and wedged himself in after him.

* * *

 

''By the Seven, would you stop fidgeting!'', Jaime whispered furiously.

''Easy Lannister, I’m just trying to find the least painful position. We’ll probably be here the next two to three hours.''

Jaime sighed, knowing Bronn was right. Now they were in there, there was no way they were getting out any time soon, at least until the woman was in bed. Jaime was surprised to actually find himself glad for this reprieve. He was having more and more trouble coming to terms with the fact of the matter. Which was that soon he was to put another name on the list of his sins and for some reason, this particular name, this particular face...well, he really didn't want it there.

In the dark of the cupboard, the sounds of his own breaths loud as fireworks in his head, Jaime tried to calm down and get his pulse to a less erratic level. Jaime knew that, next to him, Bronn was doing the same, though he sincerely doubted they employed the same method.

Unbidden, the picture Jaime had committed to memory mere minutes prior flashed in his mind's eye and there was nothing he could do to make it go away. Surprisingly, the almost murderous glint in the blonde's strikingly blue eyes helped Jaime take a deep breath and then another. It helped make his heart stop its ugly jungle rhythm and settle into something more akin to a functioning pulse. The exposed slope of the woman's pale neck made his hands stop shaking. These very images were what made his mind up about one thing. There was no way in seven hells that Brienne Tarth was dying.

If you asked him, he couldn't for the life of him tell you why this woman, why that night. What he knew was that he was now responsible for keeping Bronn away from her.

Jaime felt his partner reposition his legs, a movement which made Jaime’s own body angle slightly away from him. He prayed to the gods he wasn’t even sure he believed in that Bronn wouldn’t murder him on the spot after he was about to do to him.

Slipping a minuscule syringe from the lining of his jacket into the palm of his hand, he turned towards Bronn, injecting him with the potent sedative. As the man’s unconscious body slid against Jaime’s, he settled him more comfortably on the floor and against the wall. He really didn't have a plan as to what he would do next, as it was all pretty much a spur of the moment decision.

He decided to wait another thirty minutes by which time he hoped Brienne would be upstairs, if not in bed and then he would...deal with it, he guessed.

Knowing Bronn was going to be out for at least another 4 hours, Jaime let his weary body slide against the wall and join his partner's prone form.

 

* * *

 

 

After consuming more than half a bottle of Merlot, Brienne had taken a long shower in hopes of ridding herself of the headache she knew was going to be the bane of her existence in the morning if she didn't nip it in the bud. She dry swallowed a couple of painkillers and settled in bed, the soft glow of the full moon her only companion.

A slight thud woke her from her weak slumber mere minutes after she'd dozed off. Alert and awake within moments, she shed the covers off her body, grabbed her robe and walked steadily towards the chest of drawers in the far end of her room.

 

* * *

 

 

Satisfied with the knowledge that all the lights were off and that silence had enveloped the house yet again, Jaime was finally able to wheedle his body out of the cupboard in relative quiet but his troubles started when, on his way upstairs, the seventh step creaked so loudly it nearly gave him a heart attack. He lost his balance and managed to almost fall down the few steps he had climbed. Luckily, he stood his ground and continued his journey, hoping against hope that the plan went smoothly. He would wake Brienne, try and explain why there was a stranger (two strangers!) in her house in the middle of the night and then take it from there.

As he reached what he knew was the master bedroom (at least according to the blueprints that were in the woman's file) he froze, taking another deep breath. Now or never Lannister, you've got this.

As he pressed on the door handle and entered, his eyes adjusting to the new light settings, he missed the sound of a body creeping up on him. The cold steel of what he somehow knew had to be the tiniest Glock .43 ever (and that was saying something) scorched the skin of his neck and now he had a voice to put to a face. Sweet, calm and oh so deadly serious in its class, the words shook him to the core.

''I wouldn't move if I were you. These things, when used properly, hurt like a bitch.''

* * *

 

 

Swallowing thickly, Jaime found himself indeed unable to move, going over his options. Overpowering the woman seemed foolish considering he was held at gunpoint, and it seemed like this particular target really did not want to go quietly into that good night. He smiled to himself at the fact that Brienne Tarth most definitely knew how to defend herself and then rolled his eyes at his own idiocy. He was as good as dead if she didn’t do something immediately.

‘‘I don’t suppose you’d let me explain?’’

‘‘Explain? Hmm…well…you may or may not have caught me on a good night. Please, do elaborate on what you were doing in the middle of my bedroom. I could use a laugh.’’

As she spoke she walked to stand in front of Jaime, all the while keeping her intruder in her cross-hairs.

He knew he should speak, but he was caught in her calculating, centered gaze and found himself unable to utter a word or look away. She was slightly taller than him (the picture most certainly did not do her justice on that front) and her powerful, broad shoulders unfurled, rounding up her perfect posture, like that of an avenging angel. Jaime had no idea whether he should be terrified or awed. Probably both. As he thought this, he saw the tiny scar on her full upper lip twitch. A tell. She was nervous.

‘‘I…Maybe you want to put that down?’’

Brienne must have heard it in his voice, for her sapphire-colored eyes became, Jaime thought, a tad amused. And then horrifically thunderous.

On instinct, Jaime put his hands up in mute surrender. She spoke then, cool rage emanating from her entire being, completely missing the point of his words.

‘‘You think I have no business knowing how to handle a gun properly. Because I’m a woman?’’

He cast his eyes downwards, his hands still in the air, knowing arguing with her would at this point be futile. The bizarre level their interaction had reached was beginning to fascinate him.

‘‘Oh for gods' sake, put your hands down, we’re beginning to look like a badly staged wild west stand-off.’’

Jaime laughed at that, a great big honest sound of pure mirth which seemed to take Brienne by surprise and for a split, minuscule moment a grin threatened to emerge. Using the momentary lapse in attention Jaime lunged and had the woman on her stomach within seconds, hands pinned behind her back, gun safely thrown to the side. What he hadn’t counted on – and he _really_ should have known not to underestimate the woman by now – was the sheer strength and agility with which Brienne was able to turn the tables on him. From her position she very easily spread her legs and snapped them backwards, encasing Jaime’s own and flipped them both onto their backs. From there it was pretty much a hop, skip and a jump away from subduing him. Jaime felt like he was having an out of body experience. This was the kind of thing he was supposed to be good at! As it was, he could only float away from the scene and observe it almost detached from any kind of feelings of anger, awed surprise painting each of his breaths.

Brienne ended up straddling him, pinning his arms above her head expertly with one hand, the other reaching for the cord in Jaime’s hoodie, yanking it out in one swift move, binding his wrists. Her own robe sash went the same route, settled around Jaime’s ankles.

She hadn’t even looked back at Jaime as she went towards the phone that was charging on her night stand.

Jaime couldn’t care less what happened to him at this point but if the woman called the police They would know she wasn’t dead and simply send someone else to finish the job.

‘‘Don’t call the police, you can’t!’’

She placed the phone down and knelt beside Jaime’s prone form, making such powerful eye contact Jaime could swear he would pass out from the intensity. Caught up in his own thoughts, he hissed at the sting he felt in his right arm. Recognizing immediately he had been drugged, he sluggishly looked up at Brienne. He was awake just long enough to see the phone pressed to the woman’s ear and hear the words that followed.

‘‘The Committee. Clean up in five.’

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Headache. Pounding headache. That was all Jaime was aware of as he came to.

He managed to crack one eye open and fight the harsh light. Soon though, he adjusted his vision somewhat and began taking in his surroundings. The first thing he saw was a wide wash basin. It appeared the entire room was made of gleaming metal, lined with filing cabinets and surgical equipment. He turned his head to the left and when he saw the tray of invariably sharp and deadly looking tools he felt the first tendrils of panic begin to eat away at him. He could hear another sound entering his consciousness. It was his own heart being projected from the monitor to his right. Much as he wanted to run away and ask questions about the horror movie scenario later, he found that he was physically unable to.

He began to take account of his symptoms. Dry mouth, metallic aftertaste clinging to the back of his throat, slight blurriness of vision. Hunger and nausea combined, creating a cocktail of putrefaction in his stomach. And of course, complete paralysis from the neck down. He was more than sure that he was under the influence of a mix popularly known in specific circles as _Angel Path_. Its scientific name – Kalynorphine - never really caught on.

He was a victim of it once before, but fortunately, Bronn was able to get to the mark before the freak was able to do anything else to Jaime. And he was planning on it, too. It was one hit he was glad had gone by without a hitch, even though the mastermind behind it was far from caught.

Chasing his mind back to the problem at hand, he missed the sound of someone entering the room.  His body was then pushed to seated position and he felt a bout of nausea so strong he could do nothing but give into it. Just as he felt the first wave hit him he also felt a refreshingly cool hand grasp his forehead firmly but gently, a metal kidney dish neatly positioned in front of him.

Once he was done – for good, he hoped - he looked up fighting to see through the tears of exertion. And then, the silhouette of one Brienne Tarth entered his line of vision. The woman was focused on disposing of the dish and was right back at Jaime’s side, a cool cloth sliding across his forehead. Jaime sighed a breath of relief.

‘‘Thank you.’’

‘‘No need to thank me. I just couldn’t allow you to contaminate a sterile environment.’’

Jaime’s gut churned with fear as he took in the meaning of the words. His heartbeat went wild.

‘‘Do calm down. I have no intention of harming you. Which is more than I can say about you and your plans for me.’’

Jaime took a few deep breaths as he looked up at Brienne’s face. Guilt and shame flushed his cheeks.

‘‘Bronn? Um, my…my partner?’’

‘‘In the room next door. Lucky for him, he required no surgery and is sleeping off the remnants of the drugs you administered in a comfy bed. As for you, I’m sorry to inform you that during our little scuffle on my bedroom floor, you somehow managed to dislodge one of the metal plates in your spine. Our medical team discovered it on arrival. Fortunately, we will be able to fix it. I do apologize for the Kalynorphine, but as you can see it was a necessity. We couldn’t risk you waking up and thrashing about, only to dislodge more of the already precarious pins. And also, we were waiting for the effects of the sedative administered by me to wear off before we go ahead with the procedure – that was a simple tranquilizer, nothing as complicated and heavy as _Angel Path_ , I’m hardly a monster, even if you were an intruder.’’

Jaime listened in a kind of haze, his mind going back in time. IEDs, surgeries and secretive benefactors started all of this. And now someone else wanted to ‘‘fix’’ him. To what end? This was clearly just another side of the mess his life had turned into. A different enemy this time, wanting things from him, things he knew he was done giving to anyone, ever again. All he wanted was to die. And it must have shown on his face because Brienne took one look at him and her own features realigned suddenly into honest-to-gods compassion so potent Jaime felt like she couldn’t breathe. Was it possible he was this much of an open book for her?  He shut his eyes under the influence of utter humiliation and weakness.

‘‘Mister Lannister-’’

Jaime’s head snapped up.

‘‘How did you-?’’

‘‘Will you let me talk now and explain? I promise you that any and all decisions made in the end will be completely yours.’’

Jaime swallowed against a lump in his throat and managed a weak nod.

‘‘Good.’’

And so, the woman began to tell all.

* * *

 

 

‘‘Let me start by introducing myself. Brienne Tarth. But, that much you already knew, judging by the files on your colleague’s phone. I am a medical doctor, a vascular surgeon who will, in a few minutes, hopefully, be working on your spine. I am one of the best, and I will be working with a team that is the best in the UK, possibly the world. And I don’t say these things lightly. ‘‘

If Jaime was feeling guilty before, he was feeling downright mortified now, at the notion that he was about to kill a woman who spent her days saving others.

‘‘No self-reprimands, Mister Lannister. I need you to know one thing before I continue. I know all about you. I know what they did to you. None of it was your fault. As long as we have that base covered and I have your full attention once again, we can go on. …So? Are we okay to continue?’’

A small, encouraging smile gracing her features, she looked at Jaime, who now felt only slightly more at ease. He nodded and Brienne continued.

‘‘What we do here is…different. We save lives, yes. My department also liaisons with others to assist in takeovers, mergers, extraction, renditions et cetera. We attempt to make all these situations as successful as possible, with minimal human loss. Most of the time, said goal is reached. Of course, a certain margin of error exists, and we are only human ourselves, no matter the gadgets we employ.’’

Jaime felt his eyebrows shoot up in interest and wonder.

‘‘I know, I know, it all sounds very much like I’m the head of S.H.I.E.L.D. but I can assure you things are way more grim than that.’’

A mirthless smirk adorned her features, and Jaime’s heart twisted in sympathy. The ghosts of the past flitting across Brienne’s face were all too visible. Was this what Brienne saw in him as well?

‘‘Anyway, bottom line is that we like to think of ourselves as the good guys, as much as such a thing is possible in a world where nothing is black and white. And, as such things always go, we do have a nemesis, for lack of a better suited term. It takes form of The Committee. A powerful, all-encompassing organization intent on circumventing and bypassing all our attempts at peace, prosperity and anything akin to it. And, when necessary, they have been known to bulldoze their way right through them.

I knew you were one of theirs the moment I laid eyes on you, James Lannister. Because I have been the Committee’s target three times before. I was about due for another go, and was sort of expecting you. I was just annoyed you showed up when I really needed a good night’s sleep.’’

Jaime felt powerless against the amount of information and almost started to hyperventilate. The heart monitor sounded in alarm again and Brienne stood to turn it off.

‘‘Mister Lannister, look at me.’’

She sat down in a chair next to his bed, seeking out his eyes with hers and when sapphire met emerald she placed a calming hand on his shoulder. Even though he couldn’t feel it, the gesture helped.

‘‘It will be okay. I am the very woman you were sent to dispose of and I am telling you, once again: It wasn’t your fault. And the ones that came before me…none of them…none of their deaths were your fault. Can you say those words, and say them like you mean them?’’

Jaime felt his jaw clench painfully and looked away.

‘‘Major Lannister! Do not tell me I have to pull rank? Because as soon as my narrative is over, you will realize just how far I surpass you in this chain of command.’’

Jaime reacted sharply to his military rank and took a deep breath.

‘‘I apologize.’’

‘‘No need. But I still want you to say it. Okay?’’

Jaime took one deep breath and said the words he absolutely did not believe.

‘‘It’s not my fault.’’

’’It’s a good start, soldier. Maybe, in time, as I force you to say it over and over again – and I will – you’ll start to believe it.  In the meantime, shall I continue?’’

* * *

 

 

‘‘I mentioned I was The Committee’s target three times before you came along. All three times happened within the past year and a half. They have been taking hits on all sides due to a certain scientific breakthrough of ours and decided that their course of action would be to get rid of me. I won’t even get into how faulty that logic is, I’m but a cog in the machine, and if they thought killing me would solve any of their problems, they were sorely mistaken. However, I believe male vanity had something to do with it as well. ‘‘

She scrolled through her phone, held it up and angled the screen towards Jaime.

‘‘This man, Roose Bolton, is their number one man for Middle Eastern Operations, the very Operations we have been hindering in the past 2 years, and quite successfully I might add. He is a champion grudge holder which makes him even more dangerous and trigger-happy. I was lucky to remain alive thus far, but I would much rather not have to face yet another person like you, who I know doesn’t want to hurt a living soul, but whose choice was so cruelly taken from them that they’d rather kill themselves in front of me than be taken in by my men. I was just so very happy I was able to take you in before you went the path your predecessors did.’’

Jaime gasped. Brienne’s eyes shone bright with tears she was barely holding back.

‘‘‘Ms Tarth…I…I don’t know what to say…’’

‘‘Nothing quite yet James. You don’t mind if I call you by your first name?’’

‘‘Not at all, but everyone…everyone calls me Jaime.’’

‘‘Jaime it is then. And please, call me Brienne.’’

He nodded.

‘‘Brienne, can I ask you something?’’

‘‘Of course.’’

‘‘Are we…are we in Legoland?’’

* * *

 

At the mention of the famous moniker for MI6, the British Secret Service, Brienne nodded.

‘‘My team and I form ‘‘Cerulean’’, a special intelligence unit attached to MI6. Cerulean was designed back in 1968, specifically with the task of dealing with any and all Committee related affairs, though over the years we have been known to lend our skill set to other departments within the Service. All operatives within the unit are handpicked for their expertise. Some choose to expand into other fields. I myself used to be head of a teaching hospital and its lead vascular surgeon before I became the supervisor of Cerulean's medical wing and the department’s chief tactical adviser. Though, I should tell you, should you decide to stick around, the people who work here really dislike the name Legoland. Makes it sound like what we do is all fun and games, and nothing could be further from the truth.’’

‘'Stick around?’’

‘‘Yes…that is what I was coming to this entire time. But, I think that conversation can wait until after your surgery. If you consent to it, of course.’’

Jaime looked at Brienne in wonder. He had never met anyone quite like her. Able to demand attention with a bare flicker of her eye and retain it just as easily, So very compassionate, honest and trustworthy. Jaime had no way of knowing if what he believed Brienne to be was even one per cent true, but as he saw it, he only had his instinct to work with.

‘‘Yes. I…Thank you.’’

‘‘No need to thank me Jaime. Let’s just focus on getting you better and we’ll take it from there, won’t we?’’

Jaime nodded, his heart in her throat. Brienne again put a comforting hand on his shoulder and he fervently wished he was able to feel it.

‘‘I’ll get someone to go over your vitals and send out a quick blood panel. The paralytic should be wearing off in about thirty minutes and we will give your bloodstream a brief period of time to recover. We should be able to go into the operating theater in about three hours.’’

‘‘Okay.’’

‘‘And Jaime?’’

‘‘Yes?’’

‘‘We will make it better.’’

All Jaime could do is nod, more than slightly befuddled and dazzled  as Brienne left and a medical team swarmed around him, soothing in the swish of their movements. For the first time in forever, Jaime felt like he could take a guilt-free breath.

 

* * *

Brienne hovered over Jaime’s dormant form and checked his vitals for what seemed the fifteenth time in the past thirty minutes.

Just as she was about to check them again a mere minute later she stopped herself, her hands clasping together in her lap.

What was she doing? She had no reason to mollycoddle this man, her very own would-be assassin. No matter the circumstances under which it happened, no matter the fact that he was coerced into a lifetime of blood crime, there was no valid reason for Brienne to become so attached to Major Lannister.

And yet, involved she became. By delegating herself as the surgeon in charge of Jaime’s spinal surgery. By choosing to be a stand-in for any potential family members. Letting herself spend hours next to the man’s hospital bed, waiting for him to wake from the anesthetic.

It was a good thing her staff knew to keep their thoughts to themselves and that they knew very well she responded highly disagreeably to any kind of gossip, otherwise the whole building would have been a-buzz with her apparent infatuation.

For that is what this was. There was no doubt about it. There was something, there was many a ’’somethings’’ which led her to this moment in time in which she was debating on moving a particularly stubborn strand of golden-blonde hair away from the man’s face.

‘‘Get it together Tarth. He is in no fit state for your pining or whatever it is you think you’re doing.’’

She knew that her feelings or whatever this unexpected emotional roller-coaster was would have to wait until…well…until further notice. What was important was Jaime’s recovery and the determination of his future within MI6, should he decide to take that route.

Jaime chose that moment to stir and Brienne quickly stood up, eyes going to the monitor, reassuring herself that the vitals were all within normal range.

‘‘Good morning, soldier. How are you feeling?’’

Jaime scrunched his face in pain.

‘‘Like I’ve been hit by a two ton truck.’’

‘‘I know. The damage was worse than I thought. Not much of it was from last night, though.’’

‘‘What do you mean?’’

‘‘Well, as I went in and located the initial problem I noticed even more wear and tear than I’d expected. It was too miniscule and intricate to show up on our scans, but it was definitely there.  It was shoddy workmanship, at best.  I’d say our little kerfuffle last night probably saved your spine.

I don’t know how long you’d have been able to remain in an upright position, let alone walk, with what I found. And, according to the medical records we pulled up, the surgeries you underwent ten years ago - on paper at least - seemed like the kind of high class surgery that would leave you in more than mint condition. However, when I dug a little further into your medical records, I realized that none of them were as state of the art as it looked at first. So, to sum it up, it looks like The Committee fixed your back for a time period that was convenient for them. You had an expiration date. I don’t know what they were planning to do when that date came, but…I’m sure it wasn’t going to be pretty.’’

‘‘Oh gods…’’

Jaime took a deep breath and his right hand went to his throat, pawing at the scars he was all too familiar with. IEDs leave very vocal, shrill reminders.

‘‘Jaime, I know it’s a lot to take in, but you will get through this.’’

‘‘Will I?’’

‘‘Yes.’’

The no-nonsense tone of Brienne’s response broke through the daze of Jaime’s spinning thoughts.

‘‘How?’’

‘‘With a little help from me and a lot of will power. Now, what do you say we start with some water and proper food and then we can start talking physical therapy?’’

The look of utter dread on Jaime’s face made Brienne stop, freeze and rewind. She took a seat on the edge of the bed.

‘‘I know it sounds utterly ridiculous, coming from me, and considering the tableau that has already played out between the two of us in the past 24 hours but…do you feel like you could trust me?’’

Jaime’s response was immediate and unwavering.

‘‘I trust you.’’

Brienne took a deep breath and Jaime watched as her posture relaxed slightly. She must have so much on her mind, he mused.

‘‘Right then, Major Lannister. Let’s do this.’’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning:darker themes ahead

 

 ‘‘Faster! Harder! You’re not focusing on your breathing. Lannister, you know what happens if I have to repeat myself!’’

‘‘I am fucking trying, Goodwin!’’

‘‘Excuses! Drop and give me fifty. Now!’’

The gym was humid and stuffy and the very last thing Jaime wanted to do was obey, but like he always did when his training sessions were proving a bit too much he recalled the conversations he’d had with Brienne after his physical therapy ended and he was given a clean bill of health. He remembered how warm and understanding Brienne had been. How much of a leap of faith it was for someone of her standing in an institution such as MI6 to take such a huge risk. Not to mention the whole ex-assassin issue, nor how it turned Jaime’s stomach on an hourly basis that he was ever so close to extinguishing the sapphire glint in Brienne Tarth’s eyes.

It is that pain, that regret that was his driving force now. He would do better, at least make an effort to erase his past, shield his soul from the memory of deaths he’d caused and reach for redemption with his broken body, giving the proverbial forces of good his very last ounce of strength.

And it healed him, the hard work,  the pain, the sweat, toil and tears he’d shed in his quarters when the sessions ended and left him a broken mess, unable to move for a solid two hours for fear of shattering what felt like an already glass fragile spine.

It cleanses your entire being, he thinks, this need to prove yourself.

And he is in abundance of such a need. A want so powerful he can’t remember if he’d ever craved anything more. To prove to his family, to his father most of all, that he was more than just a sum of his parts. And ultimately, to be in a way, reborn of himself.

Brienne’s suggestion and offer made that more than possible. Jaime couldn’t quite believe the turn his life had taken. He’d gone from a gray and lifeless existence to a voltage-filled life of color, strength in HD and tears of pain he was for once not letting choke him to sleep. Instead, he allowed them to weave through him, each soothing in its own way, polishing the scars and the welts mapping his body like the lines on a map.

He would do well; he would do excellent and become the person Brienne knew he could be. The agent she will be proud to say that he is, the mission operative of the highest standard, the ex army major, coming back into his own.

The orders given by his trainer were grating but they were also Jaime’s mantra. He may yell back but they understand each other. Robert Goodwin is a man of few words, but then again, Jaime had never been one for chit-chat either, so they got along famously. Three months into his training he could already feel a significant amount of progress in his movements, his reflexes and his muscle structure. His skill set had expanded by a wide margin and he was sure that he was ready for the field and more than a little nervous at the very thought.

He knew his strategic training would come in handy some day, he just didn’t quite realize how much until he started on his sessions with Brienne’s first hand man and tactical adviser. Podrick Payne, head of Communications, was a ball of energy, a feisty little sprite of a boy who you could never imagine excelling at what he did for a living. And yet, excel he did. The most extraordinarily devised missions, no matter the level of difficulty, are his to lord over and he relishes at the thought of teaching his fellow agents his brilliant ways. And Jaime is nothing if not a keen and avid learner.

 

* * *

 

    

He was in the cafeteria, trying to decide whether he should risk the beef wellington or just go for the kidney pie when he felt a light tap on her shoulder.

He turned and was met with Brienne’s warm gaze. He almost flinched at how it made him, feel but quickly, with a little help of his military persona, he was able to school his features into polite interest, topped off with a warm smile and arch of eye brow.

‘‘Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, Brienne Tarth.’’

‘‘I know, I know, long time no see. It’s been hell upstairs. I’ve got status reports and op briefs coming out of my ears. What I wouldn’t give for just one calm day at HQ. Anyway…’’

At this, Jaime witnessed a shadow fly briefly across Brienne’s face and immediately, his gut told him something was wrong. However, not one for overreacting, he waited for them to take their seats and when they did, he watched Brienne like a hawk, but staying quiet, knowing that she would speak when she is ready.

‘‘First, how are you finding your new quarters? I haven’t had time to visit since you moved from the beginners’ wing, reasons for which I will …ah… tell you about later on.’’

Jaime shook away the haze he found his brain stuck in and dug into his meal.

‘‘It’s lovely, actually. I love the fact that there are so many of us on the floor, and it’s great that Bronn is there as well.  I’m just glad he was able to forgive me for what I did.’’

‘‘Jaime, you know that what you did that night ended up being in everyone’s best interest. He knows that. His family is safe and under our constant surveillance as is yours. He has nothing to be angry over. If anything he should be thanking you. What you did took guts. ’’

Jaime brushed off the words, just like Brienne knew he would. She smiled inwardly at how well she knew him.

‘‘To answer your question further, everyone’s been accommodating, and I’m happy to be meeting new people. Though Goodwin and Payne would argue I just waste my time on the monkey bars  playing with the cool kids when I could be studying and training even harder.’’

Brienne’s brow furrowed at the words but Jaime was quick to reassure her.

‘‘Only joking, Pod has actually become quite a close friend. No need to worry, Brienne.’’

As he said it, he realized Brienne’s mind was very much elsewhere, her absent gaze and the way she twirled the hair tie on her wrist a dead giveaway. Like she was bursting at the seams from wanting to tell him what’s on her mind, but there was some unknown force keeping her from doing it.

‘‘Brienne…what is it?’’

His left hand moved to encircle Brienne’s right wrist and he felt the merciless thudding of her pulse, like a tiny jackhammer, against the skin of his own palm.

For a second, he thought he could see a tear in Brienne’s eye and he made an executive decision.

‘‘Right Ms Tarth, I think I need some air, would you like to join me?’’

Brienne, momentarily distracted, nodded, joining Jaime on the short trip to the roof.

It had become their little hiding place ever since Jaime was still in the physical therapy stages and needed somewhere to vent his frustration, fears and when the pain simply became too much. It was where they bonded over mothers they had lost, estranged family members(or in Brienne’s case, lack thereof)

It was on that roof where Jaime first got the courage to tell Brienne about Cersei. And where Brienne surprised him by being the most understanding, most supportive human being he’d ever had the good fortune to meet.

To Jaime, what the two of them had had become uncharted territory, something way beyond mere friendship.  It made him rejoice at the thought of exploring. A little pining never hurt anyone, he reasoned, as long as it didn’t spiral out of control. And as long as you ignored that little gut feeling that kept telling you you’d already fallen. Hard.

   

* * *

 

Brienne was unsure what exactly she was doing on the roof of MI6 in the middle of her very busy working day, feet on the railing of the least uncomfortable fire escape.

The answer came to her as soon as she locked eyes with Jaime Lannister, the biggest, most captivating enigma ever to cross her path. The roof was their way of coping with things, and Brienne was infinitely glad of it.

She was there because she needed to tell someone. Someone without words when she had no need for them and someone with just the right amount of sentences uttered when she felt like talking. And ever since the day she met him (hah, _met him_! Since the day their orbits collided quite potently, more like) she knew that there would never be anyone else like Jaime. And she had no idea what to do with that knowledge. Had no idea what to think of the fact that she felt more at ease with Jaime after having known him for less than a full year than she ever was around anyone.

The one thing Brienne wasn’t at all happy with regarding her location was the almost sub-zero temperature she was now trying very hard not to react to.

‘‘It’s a bit nippy today.’’, he noted.

Brienne shrugged off his concern and the move made her light jacket puff around her, giving her an added chill. Within moments she felt the warmth of Jaime’s gray training hoodie envelop her. She immediately burrowed her face into the material and took a subtle deep breath. A scent unique to the army major engulfed her, soothing some of the nerves.

‘‘I always did run too warm, you look like you can use it.’’

It took all of Brienne’s will power not to burst into tears. She could have slapped herself.

Shakily, she took a deep breath.

‘‘Jaime…’’

Jaime looked at her and he seemed to be bracing herself for whatever it was Brienne was about to say.

‘‘I know that I really shouldn’t be bothering you with this but I…’’

Jaime knelt in front of her, taking hold of her hands.

‘‘Brienne, it’s okay, whatever it is, I’m here, you know that.  We will deal with it together.’’

Brienne looked grateful and unsure at the same time and Jaime smiled at her encouragingly.

‘‘Would you feel more comfortable if we talked in my quarters? This frigid weather isn’t exactly conducive to an intimate atmosphere.’’

Having heard the words out loud, he immediately regretted them and started to backpedal.

‘‘I mean, I wasn't I’m trying to - I just thought that you’d be more comfortable-’’

Brienne’s face broke into an affectionate smile.

‘‘I know, Mr. Lannister, don’t give yourself an aneurysm. And let’s get off this roof before we both freeze to death, hm?’’

 

* * *

 

 

‘‘Tea?’’

‘‘Yes please.’’

Jaime handed her a cup and she cradled it to her chest, hoping some of the warmth will give her strength enough to say the words. It would be therapeutic, yes, but she was also worried about what it might do to Jaime. The man was carrying enough guilt around for a platoon of people and Brienne really didn’t need to add to the pile, even though there was no reason for Jaime to feel guilty about anything. Though she was certain he would find a way.

She took another deep breath.

‘‘I…I was on a mission recently. It involved getting close to someone in order for me to gather the necessary intelligence.’’

Jaime nodded, his stomach constricting at the mere thought of Brienne in a relationship, even a fake one.

‘‘His name is Hyle Hunt, oh-so-proud member of New Scotland Yard. In reality though, the man is just shy of a glorified traffic warden, but one with important points of interest.  The mission started about a month ago. He was a key player in one of my international drug ring ops, so I decided to bring myself back to active field agent status. I felt that pursuing the knowledge he had on the situation would make him the perfect means to successfully terminate a two year long operation, and there was no other agent I trusted to approach the situation in the most suitable manner, it was too delicate. ’’

There was something about the way Brienne formed the words, almost akin to filtering the information she was willing to give away, but Jaime brushed that train of thought to the side as he focused back on the matter at hand.

‘‘I first ‘‘met’’ him in a bar and it grew from there. For a while I’d been able to quite deftly avoid the issue of physical contact, it was less messy that way. Not to mention there was something about him that absolutely made my skin crawl. However, as men like him tend to do, he’d started insinuating, asking questions, pushing. And in my line of work, it’s really not unusual to use any and all tools at your disposal to get to the goal. But, as I was already almost done with the task at hand I figured I’d try and not necessarily go down the path of prostitution to accomplish the fucking mission. Big mistake.’’

The sudden crippling anger in Brienne’s words jolted Jaime as he finally understood where her friend was going with this. His eyes widened in terror and his lips formed a sneer he couldn’t control.

‘‘Tell me he didn’t. Brienne, please tell me he didn’t.’’

Brienne looked up at her friend who was on his feet, his fists clenched by his sides, breaths ragged, eyes feral and pleading at the same time. Brienne got up and faced him, smiled sadly.

‘‘I really wish I could.’’

And finally, she broke down, great, heaving sobs conquering her tall frame as she slumped against Jaime’s solid form.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! :)  
> Just to clarify one thing. There will be no in-depth incest mentions in this story. I felt like i couldn't take away a plot point that was so essential to who Jaime is, but also twincest creeps me out so very much, so I had to find a middle ground for introducing it to the story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne deal with the aftermath of Brienne's confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning; depictions of sexual assault ahead

 

There were very few moments in Jaime Lannister’s life where it would happen. The incident would have to be momentous, for better or worse, and he would slip into a sort of odd fugue state, where his brain is still operational but the world around him turns to slow motion, so he is free to dissect and taste his reactions in the back of his throat.

The most memorable time it happened had been on his first army tour. Another incendiary device, it had blown his unit wide apart, but with him being on the very perimeter, he was one of the few lucky survivors. To this day he can easily pinpoint and describe all of the faces of the people around him and the sounds they made.

Those who had lived and those who had died. The smile on his best friend Adam’s face just seconds before the heat and jolt of the explosion sent him flying into the ravine on the side of the road. The fear in his commander’s eyes as he realized there was nothing he could do for those under his care. The screams of a little girl whose mother had been torn apart by the flames in front of her very eyes. And finally, his own face. It was strange, yes, but he clearly had an image of his own face in the moment it happened.  The way he went numb to it all. Being irrelevant in the face of mortal danger was what made him leave his own body, dissociate and watch it from afar, hoping his demise was a swift one.

Only, he lived, and survivor’s guilt became that one particular Death he played chess with on a regular basis.

But not even that instance, that soul-crushing encounter with his own mortality, made him feel quite as miniscule and powerless as the words that just came out of Brienne’s mouth.

As he held her, his arms forming a protective cocoon, he fought against hyperventilating. Brienne didn’t need to see that. He would fall apart on his own time. Right now, Brienne needed him, needed this, and Jaime would give it to her.

‘‘Shh…shhh…Brienne, you need to breathe for me, love, can you do that?’’

The term of endearment slipped easily off his lips and he didn’t give it a second thought. It was honest, and he wasn’t going to take it back.

‘‘In and out Brienne, come on now.’’

Jaime slowly untangled Brienne’s arms from his torso, grasping the woman’s shoulders gently, guiding her to the nearby chair.

‘‘Here, take a drink.’’

Brienne gratefully grasped the glass of water and gulped almost half of it in one go. When she was able to breathe more easily, she finally managed to make eye contact.

‘‘I’m sorry…I…I just…’’

Jaime sat facing Brienne, their knees brushing lightly.

‘‘Brienne, do you know what one of the most important things you said to me is? The words that made me want to live again?  You should do well to remember them, as you made me say them enough times.’’

Brienne took a deep breath, overwhelmed by the memory. She pinned her gaze to Jaime’s, her whole body trembling.

‘‘Please, Brienne?’’

She swallowed thickly, and took a deep breath, concentrating on the words that are to become her mantra.

‘‘It’s not my fault.’’

* * *

 

 

‘‘You need to lie down for a bit, you are exhausted.’’

Brienne nodded, too tired to protest.

‘‘What time do you have to be back at HQ?’’

‘‘Next meeting isn’t until 5pm.’’

‘‘Good, that gives you another three hours for a short nap. Come on.’’

Brienne followed, acquiescing, removing her shoes and simply slipping under the covers.

‘‘Okay, I’ll be just outside if you need anything.’’

Brienne flinched.

‘‘You’re leaving?’’

‘‘Brienne, you need to rest.’’

‘‘What I _need_ is my friend. Stay…please?’’

It took all of Jaime’s strength not to fall apart at the very sight of Brienne’s lip trembling, her eyes clearly petrified (though he could see she tried with all her might to contain the fear).

So he very resolutely shut the door of the bedroom, and slid in, Brienne’s back pressed to his front, both molding their bodies easily to fit the other’s.  Jaime’s arm fell almost of its own accord into the slope of Brienne’s waist. As soon as he was there it was like he never wanted to leave. And it felt like maybe Brienne didn’t want him to leave either.

‘‘This okay?’’

‘‘Very. It’s just…I get…it’s…’’

‘‘Tell me.’’

‘‘Nightmares. It’s been a while since I slept properly.’’

Jaime thought as much. And all of a sudden he remembered and relived Brienne’s confession over and over, on a loop in his head. Instinctively, he tightened his hold on her body and felt Brienne grip his hand in return.

‘‘Sleep. I’m here now, no need to worry.’’

Brienne nodded, exhaustion already winning the battle as she slipped further into a deep slumber. Jaime propped himself on his elbow and used the opportunity to observe her unhindered. The smile lines around her perfect full lips, the slight, almost invisible beauty mark on her right cheekbone, the pale skin, the multitude of freckles. He felt like he could cry a river for what this woman had gone through.

And when his mind swerved to what he promised himself he would think about when he was alone, he only let it since Brienne was asleep and there was no danger of his thoughts being read - an act Brienne was most adept at.

_Hyle Hunt._

A plan began forming in his mind before he could stop it, the all-consuming rage and despair fueling his eagerness to avenge.

 

* * *

 

 

‘‘Jaime…Jaime wake up.’’

The fog in his brain began to dissipate as he became aware of another body in his bed and he opened his eyes to see that some time during the nap Brienne turned to face him. She seemed fresher, a little less harried and definitely a bit more rested.

‘‘Hi.’’

‘‘Hi.’’

They both smiled, each acutely aware of the proximity of their bodies, but neither wanting to move just yet. Brienne brushed a strand of wayward blonde hair away from his forehead and Jaime swallowed against a sudden lump forming in his throat.

‘‘Your hair is just so very rebellious isn’t it, Lannister?’’

The mischievous smile on her face could have lit up a city center and his insides did a little happy jig.

However, her voice took on a serious note as what happened prior to their impromptu nap suddenly became a neon sign in her mind.

‘‘Jaime, it was wrong of me to burden you with this.’’

‘’Never.’’

And she could see how much he meant it. The understanding in her eyes propelled him to say something he hadn’t even planned on.

 ‘‘Would you like to tell me about it?’’

He didn’t know exactly why he’d said it - of course Brienne would absolutely abhor reliving the most vile event in her entire life. Except, he thought maybe by telling him, some of the weight could drop from Brienne’s shoulders and onto his. Then the two of them could ride out every storm together, if that’s what Brienne felt comfortable with.

As his thoughts whirled in such a manner, he felt Brienne’s breathing change rhythm and recognized signs of hyperventilation.

‘‘I’m here, Brienne. He will never hurt you again. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise you that. Breathe with me.’’

Brienne’s breaths returned to normal, but Jaime could hear both their raging heartbeats still fighting to win the battle.

And then, she spoke.

 

* * *

 

She knew that for all the kids at school and elsewhere, the tall, plain, broad-shouldered, homely Brienne Tarth was a walking target for viciousness of all kinds, starting with your usual playground jeers from the popular girls all the way to being benched during soccer practice for being better than all the boys combined.

They had all loved to loathe her, and she'd come to accept it, but that soccer team bet in particular was always something that would stick with her until the day she died. The pretty, gilded words were a breath of fresh air, even though she knew by the time it was over she should have smelled that particular rat a mile off.

Punches were exchanged, blood was spilled and the eye-for-an-eye situation had been thus resolved. They owed her, would always owe her for the amount of further damage they'd done to her already pretty non-existent self-esteem, but she was done. Done pretending one day someone would find her attractive or interesting. Done pretending the world was anything but a cesspit she needed to drain. Luckily, her future work experiences will have taught her to save the good apples from the rotten and cherish the ones she had salvaged.

Hunt embodies everything she'd fought to eradicate for the better part of her professional life. He was a leech, feeding off other people's misery. He was a man accustomed to always getting what he wanted.

Which is why she had problems reading him that night, and all the time she was working the mission. For so long she was able to resist his honestly vomit-inducing advances and fend him off rather easily, and she hadn't quite been able to understand why he hadn't just been too angry to take any more of her. In hindsight, she really should have let her grammar school experiences answer that question for her. She was always the unknown. The mocked yet observed as a quite interesting oddity. Granted, no one who wished to remain somewhat in the social limelight deigned go anywhere near her general vicinity lest they be branded an undesirable.

Hunt viewed her as a challenge. Had decided he would let _her_ come to _him_. Only, his patience had a time limit. And with that, and a well-timed roofie in her drink, Brienne's fate was sealed

* * *

    

‘‘At first, his approach was gentle and unassuming, and I was actually relieved it was going as smoothly as I thought. But then, on the night, the pivot point in my intel gathering process or whatever you want to call that entire cock-up...we were having dinner at his house and he’d decided he’d had enough waiting. Of course, I always come fully prepared for such situations, but he’d thought a lot of this through. He’d cornered me on my way out of the loo, knowing full well I would be separated from my phone at the time, since it, my gun and the tranquilizers were in my handbag which was still on the dining room table.’’

Jaime listened and it was as though it was happening to him. He could feel the impending fear slithering up his spine and the shortness of breath was becoming almost unbearable.

‘‘He was ever so casual about it, cavalier in what he was doing to me as I lay there, slowly falling under the influence of whatever he put in my drink. Not something that would knock me out, no, I wish that was the case. It was something to subdue me but still enable me to have a front row seat to his work. Some of the words he used…It doesn’t even bear repeating, so I won’t even try. ''

Because he hadn't even filtered himself. Every single insult that she thought she'd left back at the gates of that comprehensive came back all grown up, more vicious and biting than ever.

''One of the things I remember ever so vividly was being impossibly angry at how easily he’d overpowered me, tricked me. I am a fully trained MI6 operative, taller and stronger than him, and I just...Well, anyway, I guess it's a moot point now.’’

Jaime’s stomach lurched in sympathy and he simply held her words, because he knew Brienne had no need for them now she was back in the nightmare. Brienne just wanted him to listen to the story she herself had asked for, and as painful as it was, Jaime did just that.

‘‘When it came to…the act itself I just…I fought him so hard, I swear I did, Jaime. But at one point I stopped fighting the chemical. I prayed to the gods I know do not exist to at least relieve me of the horror. I hoped I would faint, wished to disappear into myself, regress, anything, just so I could escape the fear slicing through my insides like wildfire. But I couldn’t. Unfortunately, for some reason I also lost my voice, so screaming was not an option either. I knew it wouldn’t help - no one would come as his house is on a slight hill top and isolated from the rest of his neighbors, but I felt like if I just managed to get a single cry out, it would make the whole thing at least a bit more bearable. I guess it wasn’t to be.’’

Brienne’s body had calmed, seemingly okay with what she’d shared, and it appeared Jaime’s plan was a solid one. But it was now Jaime who trembled with a thick, molasses-like mixture of emotions. Every inch of his body shook with anger he was trying to suppress for Brienne’s sake and he felt like breathing was definitely going to become a problem if he didn’t get himself under control. He felt Brienne sit up. Cool, tender hands brushed his cheeks and forehead soothingly and slid gently across her firmly shut eyelids, leaving calm in their wake.

‘‘Thank you. For letting me tell you. I had no idea how much I needed to get it all out. And I am sorry for putting this on you.’’

‘‘Never apologize Brienne, please. Not ever.’’

Brienne managed a weak smile and nodded, suddenly shy.

‘‘Brienne?’’

‘‘Yes?’’

‘‘We **_will_** make it better.’’

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks later, Jaime had been cleared for active duty and was now free to occupy his days whichever way he saw fit, in accordance with his new status of stand-by operative.

On his first day as a true MI6 agent, he spent the morning in the gym. He needed the treadmill, elliptical and the weight station like he needed air. He used them to get rid of the excess adrenaline that had been coursing through his veins.

It had been a full fortnight, and all he could think about was Hyle Hunt.

Jaime and Brienne had become even more inseparable, and he was loathe to let the woman out of his sight for more than was necessary. It was silly, he knew it, they both had lives of their own to lead, and he was well aware he wasn’t always going to be able to guard Brienne, especially when he started getting called upon for live missions. Not that he thought she couldn’t take care of herself, because nothing could be further from the truth, she has been his sparring partner for far too long for him to be naïve as to her physical prowess.

What he planned on doing was a beacon of hope in his mind and his fatigued soul fed on it, clung to it for hope and a sense of calm.

Later that day, Jaime spotted Pod on his way out of the communications room, and decided it was as good a time as any to approach him.

‘‘Morning, Major. Missing me already?’’

‘‘Obviously.’’

He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis and let out a low chuckle, Pod joining in.

‘‘But, in all seriousness…I need your help.’’

‘‘Bloody hell, Jaime, what is it? Suddenly you look like death warmed up.’’

 ‘‘Can we talk later, somewhere where we won’t be overheard?’’

‘‘Sure. I have an hour off after the daily brief. 3 pm, my office?’’

‘‘Right. See you then.’’

 

* * *

 

  


Though Pod was technically head of Communications of the entire MI6 he himself had on multiple occasions expressed - not in so many words but rather deeds - that his loyalties lay first and foremost with Brienne and her original team at Cerulean.

This is why Jaime knew for certain the boy was the perfect person to turn to. Pod had the resources needed to help him and was the safest person to keep Brienne’s secret. Jaime wasn’t going to tell him, but Pod was intelligent and would be able to put two and two together.

As he knocked on his door and let himself in, he pondered how exactly to go about his request. He figured an open approach would be best.

‘‘Jaime, come in, I’m just finalizing up the report on the Lyon op.’’

‘‘Take your time.  I’ll just work through a cup of this fabulous Colombian blend. One day you’ll have to tell me where you get this treasure. Sometimes – and don’t tell Brienne I said this – tea or even her private stash of Jack Daniels just does not cut it.’’

Pod completed his report and Jaime heard the ‘‘swoosh’’ of the email being sent. He shut down his computer and joined Jaime by the windows.

‘‘Say what you want about our HQ, but it does have a splendid view.’’

‘‘True.’’, Jaime concurred and sipped on his coffee.

‘‘Jaime…’’

Pod could tell he was stalling for time. Jaime took a deep breath.

‘‘Anything and everything I say-’‘

‘‘Vow of silence. Always, you know that by now.’’

‘‘Thanks.’’

‘‘Is it about Brienne?’’

Jaime’s eyes snapped to his and just as quickly, he looked away.

‘‘How did you know?’’, he murmured under his breath. It would not do for a field operative to be quite so much of an open book.

‘‘Let’s just say that in the six months we’ve known each other  I’ve come to realize that Brienne has quickly become one of the most important, if not the most important person in your life. And only something that has to do with her could get you this riled up. And that’s okay Jaime. We all have a blind spot. So…how bad is it?’’

Jaime looked up and turned his body to face him fully, the movements almost robotic. His jaw muscles so hard he thought he wouldn’t be able to speak.

‘‘Bad.’’

Pod nodded, the grim feeling creeping up on him too, at the thought of Brienne being hurt in any way.

‘‘Can you tell me?’’

‘‘I won’t have to, as soon as you hear what I want. But the facts themselves will never leave my lips. Not my story to tell.’’

‘‘Fair enough. Right, let’s get to work then.’’

 

* * *

  


‘‘Pod, all I wanted from you was the details from the bastard’s file. I just needed to know the op status so I could make my move without disrupting Brienne’s mission. I told you I would handle the rest of it.’’

‘‘I won’t even ask what you plan on doing, I’m not stupid. And yes, if I were you, I would be doing the exact same thing, but as someone has to be the voice of reason here, I’m coming with you. Do you really think Brienne would be happy about this?’’

‘‘Happy? Happy?! Exactly which part of all of this exactly do you think would make her happy Podrick?’’

Jaime’s voice grew eerily deep and thunderous, the rage in his viridian eyes flickering ominously. Pod almost took a step back but stood his ground.

‘‘You’re not thinking clearly. Let me come. I won’t stop you. But you need back-up. I understand what needs to be done. I would do the very same for someone I-’‘

He stops himself before finishing the sentence and as Jaime’s eyes drill into him he feels almost X-rayed. For a moment he thinks the man is going to deny it, but instead, in true Jaime Lannister fashion, he shakes it off, his stance more composed.

‘‘Then you understand fully why I need to do this on my own. I will call you if I need anything, I can promise that much. But other than in spirit, my dear friend, I don’t want to see you there. Got it?’’

Podrick sighed, defeated.

‘‘Yes, Jaime.’’

‘‘Thank you.’’

 

* * *

  


It was a zen feeling. Knowing what he was about to do seemed to calm rather than agitate him. Must be the finality of the decision, he thought.

As Pia stood in front of the full length mirror in his quarters, listening to him giving her the instructions, he inwardly pondered her choice of wardrobe. The long forest green cocktail dress with its plunging neckline and bare back seemed like just the pill to entice Hyle _Cunt_. Jaime watched her adjust garters as he worked on his own holsters. Knife - check. Gun - check. And finally, the tiniest, but ever so effective vial of Angel Path - check.

Pia ran a hand through her long pin-straight hair, picked up her purse and keys, shadowing him towards their ride.

 

* * *

  


Brienne parked her car and took one more look at her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes had lost that dull glint that followed her day in and day out since what she referred to as ‘‘the incident’’. She couldn’t quite bring herself to call a spade a spade, but with Jaime’s help, she was getting there.

She planned on surprising him with a nice dinner, to celebrate the fact he had finally been declared fit for duty a few days prior. It had been a long nine months for Jaime, the first three in particular being a miasma of pain management and physical therapy. As a way of saying goodbye to all that and to celebrate his active status, Brienne had booked a table at Jaime’s favorite French restaurant.

Also, Brienne realized she was tired of pretending, weary of dancing around an obvious issue. She knew her own feelings, confusing though they might have been in the beginning. She was no longer satisfied with being just Jaime’s friend. If friendship was what Jaime wanted, Brienne would have to settle - because she most definitely wasn’t brave enough to live her life without him in it. But she certainly wasn’t going to give up before finding out if the two of them could ever be more.

Just as she was about to head for the staff elevator leading towards Jaime’s quarters, she caught glimpse of a familiar tall blond man getting into a waiting taxi, accompanied by a striking brunette. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her legs give way. She leaned against her car for support.

Of course, Jaime was perfectly in his own right to socialize, date even, but the very visual of him dressed ups, clearly ready for a night out on the town - with someone other than herself -  made her eyes water.

The sound of footsteps approaching her broke her out of her reverie.

‘‘Brienne, what are you doing here?’’

The slight modulation to his tone of voice told her immediately he was hiding something.

‘‘I was on my way to see Jaime, but it would appear as though he already has plans, I just saw him leave.’’

‘‘Oh. ‘‘

‘‘You wouldn’t happen to know where he went?’’

‘‘No! I mean, he hasn’t mentioned anything.’’

The pitch was definitely off, she thought again.

‘‘Payne. I will not ask again – do you know where Lannister is going?’’

His entire posture changed as he dropped all semblance of pretense. Brienne saw the worry and guilt in his eyes. Her stomach dropped in fear.

‘‘Pod? I think expediency is key right now.’’

‘‘I…he made me promise, but…’’

‘‘If I have to repeat myself, you won’t like it.’’

He sighed, pulled out his phone and pulled up an address on Google maps. Realization came crashing down on Brienne like a ton of concrete.

By the time she was coherent enough to speak, she was looking through her purse for her car keys, thrusting them at the man.

‘‘You drive. Quick as you can, Pod. I am in no mood.’’

 

* * *

 

  


The bastard had a very predictable routine. A routine Jaime knew would play oh so well in his favor.

He had spent three previous nights mapping out his movements. Turns out the bastard was ever so faithful to his favorite bar, his darts buddies, his pull of the night. Three nights - three different women, as matter of fact.

Having followed them back to his house Jaime realized all of them had gone willingly, had gone to bed with him – apparently – of their own accord. It gave Jaime a minute sense of relief, knowing that at least under his watch he hadn’t made any other woman’s life a misery the way he had Brienne’s.

The thought of her made Jaime’s heart clench with sympathy and a love so strong he thought there was no way he would ever recover. He vowed to herself, then and there, inside his car on a freezing December night, that he would come clean. He remembered the something Tyrion managed to tell him after the whole Cersei situation had blown up in his face. _‘‘I understand Jaime. It doesn’t make it any less undesirable and wrong, but I do understand. It was a love you couldn’t fight off. ‘‘_

Except it was sick and festering inside both him and Cersei for so long it nearly killed him. He reveled in the fact that what he felt for Brienne could only flourish and blossom as opposed to rot like his ill-begotten affair with his twin had.

It was okay to love, and it is that very notion of love that saves a person, no matter how lost they think they are. If anything, even if Brienne told him she absolutely didn’t feel the same, Jaime figured the world would hopefully be a happier place for his own admission. Because the emotion that clings so fiercely to his body and soul is more than enough for two. The last thing he should try to do was contain it. Enough was enough.

But, now was not the time to be pondering his life choices. Now was the time to act. He gathered his coat closer to his body as he purposefully strode towards the bar Hyle Hunt frequented, Pia some steps in front of him, familiar with her task.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Brienne get to Jaime in time?

 

He was amazed at how easy it was. Not five minutes after he found himself a seat at the bar and ordered a drink, Pia sat three seats further to his right, none other than the vile excuse for a human being approached her, his hand resting possessively on the small of her back. Jaime fought a shudder of anger as Taena looked at Hunt through her perfectly coiffed fringe. A small smile planted itself on her lips and Jaime had to commend her acting skills.

‘‘Can I buy you a drink?’’, he heard the man almost purr into her ear.                                        

‘‘I’ve already got one, thanks.’’

She injected just the right amount of demure into the tone of voice to make him think she was playing hard to get. 

‘‘What’s that, red wine?’’

‘‘Indeed it is. ’80 Merlot, if we’re being precise. My favorite.’’

‘‘Oh, I have something better. Besides, you don’t want to waste your Saturday night hangover on wine. I have a bottle of bourbon back at mine with our names all over it.’’

‘‘Oh, but you don’t know my name.’’ she smiled and tucked a strand of onyx hair behind her ear.

‘‘I will know it soon enough, if you’re up for a challenge?’’

‘‘Oh, most definitely. ‘‘

The three-girl-streak must have bolstered his confidence, Jaime thought. As he tamped down the bile rising in his throat, he watched Taena throw a dazzling smile Hunt’s way.

At the thought of what was coming the bastard’s way, a smile planted itself on Jaime’s face too. Luckily, Hunt was already eyeing the prize i.e. the expanse of Taena’s bare back so he missed Jaime’s victorious glances.

‘‘Shall we?’’, he heard the man say.

‘‘Lead the way.’’, Pia replied and looped her arm with Hunt’s.

    

 

* * *

 

  


‘‘Pod, if we don’t get to him in time…’’

Brienne fought to keep her demeanor in control but was quickly losing the battle.

‘‘He has nothing but you on his mind, Brienne.’’

‘‘What?’’

Brienne’s quiet, tempered tone of voice brooked no argument – she was beyond enraged. And to Pod who sometimes knew her better than she knew herself, she also sounded more than terrified.

‘‘I wouldn’t have helped him otherwise. He has told me nothing, and only came to me because I was the one person he could have asked for help. And as a bystander I can be the voice of reason you need now. I’ve read Hunt’s file. I’m not usually one to advocate violence but…’’

‘‘But what Mr. Payne? We should let Jaime undo all of his hard work, all the progress he’s made so far just so I could feel better? And that is just the first in a very long line of things I am concerned about right now.’’

She looked away and followed the flickers of the street lights whizzing by.

‘‘You have no idea what you’ve done.’’ She murmured under her breath.

‘‘Brienne?’’

‘‘I don’t have time to explain myself to you right now. There is such a thing as information above your pay grade. The file you provided Jaime with is extremely faulty.  We need to get to him sooner rather than later.’’

Pod looked to her in alarm.

‘‘What do you mean – above my pay grade? Ma’am, I’m the head of Communications-’‘

‘‘Focus, Pod, please. We’ll deal with your little heartbreak later. What are his coordinates?’’

Pod glanced to his left to the government-issued GPS tracker embedded on his dash, following the corresponding tracker in Jaime’s phone.

‘‘It looks like he is en route to Hunt’s house. He had planned on visiting his local bar first so that could only mean -’’

‘‘That his harebrained scheme is working like a charm and that you need to use that Boy Wonder brain of yours to find us a shortcut. And that you need to step on it.’’

‘‘I’m well over the speed limit here.’’

‘‘Pod, I know you cannot possibly be this thick. Which part of me do you think gives two fucks about the speed limit?’’

 

 

* * *

 

 

  


As Jaime got out of the the cab some hundred yards away from Hunt’s house, waiting for Taena to let him know she’s unlocked the back door, his phone rang. The ringtone alerted him to the fact that it was his liaison officer and that he was probably being summoned for duty. Jaime considered ignoring it but decided that would probably cause way too much suspicion.

‘‘Lannister.’’

‘‘Agent Lannister, you are to remain where you are, a vehicle has been dispatched to take you back to HQ.’’

‘‘I’m sorry, what-’‘

Before he had a chance to process what was being said, an unmarked car arrived, and it seemed to be waiting for him. His eyes widened in shock as he realized it was Pod. And that he was not alone. The passenger side window rolled down.

‘‘Brienne, I-’’

‘‘Get in the car. Now.’’

The order and silent anger in Brienne’s voice made Jaime’s entire body go numb and he could do nothing but stare dumbly at the woman.

‘‘Believe me, Lannister, it would give me immense pleasure to yell at you right now, but I’m afraid it is going to have to wait until later. ‘‘

‘‘I - ’’

‘‘Not. One. Word. I said get in the car. ‘‘

Jaime obeyed and got in the back seat. After mechanically  putting on his seat belt and texting Pia to abort mission he leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window to calm his raging heart.

 

* * *

 

  


‘‘Brienne-’

‘‘Oh no,no, no Major.  Payne, go home. I’ll deal with you tomorrow.’’

Jaime watched as Pod exited Brienne‘s office at the speed of light. He turned away from her, forcing his gaze to follow the path of the lights now illuminating the splendid night view of London.

A suffocating silence engulfed the room as soon as they were left alone and Brienne felt it like a black fog, clouding her already fragile judgment. She swallowed back her fury and tried a different approach.

‘‘I’m not going to act dumb and ask why you did it. I’m simply going to appeal to your common sense and hope for the best. Jaime, look at me.’’

Slowly, he turned and they locked eyes. Suddenly, all the weight of the last two weeks slamming down on the usually indomitable soldier, Jaime felt all air being sucked out of his lungs and he staggered backwards. He backed away from Brienne, feeling the cool glass of the floor to ceiling windows against the fabric of his jacket, seeping into him, legs shaky.

‘‘Jaime…’’

‘‘No, don’t.’’

Brienne’s heart clenched painfully. She shook it off and took a deep breath, keeping quiet but definitely walking towards Jaime.

‘‘Brienne, please, just…’’

The plea in Jaime’s shaky voice cut Brienne to the core but she kept going. She reached him then, not a foot of distance between them.

‘‘Jaime…it’s just me. I trusted you enough to share with you one of the worst, the worst experience of my entire life. You should trust me enough to know that you should let this go.‘‘

Hearing the words, Jaime folded his arms across his chest, as if shielding both himself and Brienne from what was already seeping out. And all of a sudden it was like a dam had burst.

‘‘He….You should have bloody well let me FINISH HIM!!!’’

He turned away from her and moved towards the desk, grabbing the heavy paper weight, throwing it with all his might against the hardwood floor. The ruby-colored crystal shattered into a thousand pieces. Brienne hadn’t flinched, simply let Jaime ride out the wave of emotion, painful though the scene in front of her was.

But not long after, Brienne couldn’t keep her hands to herself anymore. She held Jaime tight, guiding them both away from the shards and towards the sofa in the far corner of her office.

‘‘That’s okay, Jaime, just…all of it, let all of it out.’’

‘‘It will never be out, Brienne!!! ‘‘

He managed to get away from her, escape her warmth and stand up, furiously wiping at the tears flowing relentlessly, embarrassed beyond recognition.

He made sure he had Brienne’s gaze before he uttered the words he had no idea were even in the wings.

‘‘He RAPED you!!!’’

The look on Brienne’s face made him regret the words immediately.

‘‘Oh gods…Brienne I….’’

‘‘No, you’re right. He-

Brienne swallowed hard, preparing herself for the words about to cross her lips.

‘‘He raped me. He took away my dignity, my sense of self. My feeling of self-worth. And yes - I needed to say it.’’

Intensifying the eye contact, she drew Jaime back to the sofa, him finally following meekly.

‘‘He raped me. He raped me. He raped me. This is me, finally letting the words sink in. And this should be you, letting them sink in, too. Because I need to find a way to heal. And I cannot do that if I have to worry about you going off and doing something that will take you away from me. Because make no mistake, it would do just that. Like I said once before, I will not let that bastard separate me from you. Because, Jaime Lannister, don’t you know it by now? I’d be lost without you.’’

Knowing no other way in which to convey what she was trying to explain, Brienne curled her hand around the back of Jaime’s neck, pulling him in.

As their lips met for the first time, Brienne thought she could feel her very essence sliding back into place, beginning to mend from the havoc inflicted upon it by a man not worthy to look at her, let alone touch.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to make Brienne a little more assertive regarding her emotions in this fic, simply because I feel that in a modern AU she would be a little bit more upfront with how she deals with these things and also, in this one she is a head of one of the biggest crime-fighting organizations in the world so I figured all other aspects of her personality have been given an extra dimension as well.


	7. Chapter 7

 

It was akin to a religious experience. Sliding her hand further, down Jaime’s arm and snaking it around his neck, exploring the sliver of bare skin on display, Brienne moaned at the feel of the incredibly intoxicating warmth underneath her palm. Just as she was about to deepen the embrace, she felt Jaime break off the kiss and all but jump off the couch.

’’Jaime, I-’’

’’No. Brienne. Just...no.’’

Looking up at the disheveled man, Brienne felt parts of her ache deliciously for any kind of physical contact. However, the side of her still finely tuned to Jaime and how he was processing things made her come back to the present moment.

’’Jaime...what are you thinking? Right now, in this moment, what’s worrying you?’’

He seemed caught off guard but soon managed to find his bearings.

’’I can be everything you want me to be Brienne. I can be the confidante, I can make the nightmares go away when you can’t sleep, I can be the ultimate bodyguard, I can be that assassin you once knew and make that bastard who hurt you disappear – well, if you’d only let me. But Brienne....’’

He averted his eyes to the floor, moving to the far end of the office, away from Brienne’s reach.

’’I cannot, for the life of me, be the one to do this for you...not like this....’’

Brienne’s brain was in overdrive. What on Earth was he talking about? Her heart was beating wildly inside her ribcage, she was sure Jaime would be able to hear it from across the room.

All kinds of thoughts fought for dominance in Brienne’s emotion-addled brain. Jaime was angry. Jaime didn’t want her. Jaime was leaving.

All of them registered like a slap in the face as she witnessed him beat a hasty retreat to the double doors leading out of the room. The act made Brienne’s stomach churn and it pushed her into moving to block the Major’s path.

’’No. Tonight you gave me the fright of my life and I am not letting you out of my sight until we’ve talked about this. Jaime...’’

She sighed, running her hands through her hair.

’’Please, stay with me.’’

The words and the pleading voice that coated them broke Jaime’s resolve and he slowly stepped away from the door and moved into Brienne’s waiting arms, letting her body engulf his, placing his head in the crook of Brienne’s neck. She led them slowly to the couch, hoping now she could get her him to open up.

 

* * *

  


Jaime felt like there were no words to properly describe how he felt when Brienne kissed him. Fire in his lungs, an abnormal sense of excitement and joy in his very core, arousal the likes of which he’d never experienced. But it didn’t last long. A voice in his head outlined the situation for him. ‘ _‘She just needs the physical reassurance. She needs to be the one to make decisions over her body as she was robbed of that right by that fucking rapist. And there is no one better suited for the task than her best friend, someone she trusts. Ask yourself, are you brave enough to provide her with the safety net she needs, or are you just a little more attached to your own self-preservation?’’_

And as much as Jaime loved Brienne, he couldn’t offer up that much of himself only to have to let go when Brienne didn’t need or want him anymore. Not when for months all he was able to think of was how Brienne would feel in his arms, and what it would be like to wake up to that beautiful face every morning.  How it would feel like to tell her that he loves her and that he never wanted to part with her ever again.

Now, after his failed attempt at explaining himself she was back in his arms, with him desperate to get away, and yet eager for the moment never to end.

’’Talk to me.’’

Jaime moved away from the hug, but stayed close, a victory Brienne was ever so happy about.

’’I never want to hurt you, Brienne.’’

’’Okay...and what gives you the impression that you could?’’

’’Brienne...you don’t want me. Well, obviously, you do, now, in this moment when everything is confusing and the need for closeness is just too much to bear. Believe me, I know...But, when you decide that you’ve had your fill of me...I would never recover, Brienne. I couldn’t.’’

Brienne’s mind had conjured several scenarios as to what was going on in Jaime’s overwrought brain, but what he had uttered was so far off the mark, Brienne couldn’t even respond properly. Instead, she just sat there for a few moments, trying to gather herself.

’’Brienne? Say something.’’

’’Say something. Tell me, what does one say when they’re literally being accused of wanting to use their best friend for sex and then throw them away like an old vibrator?’’

Jaime’s eyes widened in horror.

’’No, Brienne I would never imply-’’

’’That I would be using you for a quick fuck only to send you off with cab fare in the morning, good night Vienna and all that jazz? I'll tell you what, I take back what I said -  you most definitely could hurt me.’’

Brienne’s breaths were now quick, angry bursts and Jaime was worried she would faint.

’’For gods' sake, Brienne, stop twisting my words, this is hard for me!’’

‘‘Oh, and I suppose it’s a walk in the park for me?!’’

‘‘No, of course not, I never meant to diminish what happened to you-’‘

If possible, Jaime thought Brienne’s glare had become even more murderous.

‘‘Fuck what happened to me! I refuse to let it define me! I will not let him win, so why do you insist on giving him the opportunity?!’’

 

* * *

  


Never had a room been more silent. Both of them were out of breath, two sets of eyes roaming each other’s faces, looking for something, anything to guide the conversation to any kind of resolution.

Finally, it was Jaime who broke the staring match.

‘‘You want to know why I reacted the way I did?’’

‘‘No, I enjoy miscommunication, especially when it involves one of the most important people in my life.’’

Jaime remained deaf to Brienne’s sarcasm and instead focused on the other part of the sentence. He quickly regained his senses. Time for the upfront approach, the kind he used to loathe all his life, because it always and invariably involved disclosing your inner workings so closely to others that the whole thing just implied the road of no return. _No more running. You know you are the bravest man I have ever known._ Tyrion’s words came back to ring so loudly in his mind that he’d realized he’d never missed his baby brother more.

‘‘I am usually a person good things most certainly never happen to. Myrcella and Tommen were always the only exception to that rule. Brienne, you are the kindest, smartest, most passionate, most beautiful woman I have ever had the good fortune to meet. And I, Major James Lannister - the utter epitome of a broken soldier… am irrevocably, completely and painfully in love with you. And the possibility of losing you scares the living daylights out of me. Because I don’t deserve you, in any shape or form. ’’

 

* * *

  


Brienne had to hold on to the nearest object to keep herself upright. She was never before so glad she chose to keep that ugly gray filing cabinet.

She looked at Jaime. His eyes were downcast, his posture meek, as if he was waiting for a sentencing.

’’Jaime...’’

The man refused to look up and Brienne decided the whole Muhammad to the mountain approach was the best one. Jaime Lannister, her very own lovely, infuriating, perfect mountain.

As she walked closer, she let Jaime’s cologne lull her and soothe the nerves. Reaching out for him, she tilted his chin up with her index finger, finding his cheeks flushed and wet with newly shed tears. She took a deep breath, voice shaky.

’’I have loved you from the first moment you entered my life without even knowing it at the time. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, being a target of one of the most nefarious organizations in the world might probably be the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, don’t worry love, I can safely say that you will never lose me. And you deserve everything good this world has to offer. Please don’t ever doubt that.’’

Jaime blinked, chasing away the haze of the words uttered and simply...looked. And Brienne looked back. They both let the other see the vulnerabilities, the fear and the doubts. And then Jaime took the lead Brienne was offering, and crushed their bodies together, both sets of lips again finding their perfect counterpart, breaths mingling under the lifting oppression of a thousand different worries. Brienne could taste Jaime’s tears and vowed in that moment to do her very best never to be the cause for them again, unknowingly matching the pledge Jaime was making at that exact same moment.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for a few days, guys, I've had some work and family related problems to tend to. But now, it's back to our regular programming :)

 

Brienne’s confession had woken a fire in Jaime he was less than eager to extinguish. All of a sudden, he had to taste and feel every inch of Brienne within his reach. He followed the trail of goosebumps on Brienne’s neck, laving his tongue against the scented skin, only to be rewarded with the most delicious mewls of pleasure and Brienne’s head tilting to the side to give him better access. Her eyes slid shut at the feeling of a talented tongue marking its territory so thoroughly, a flick here and a swipe there almost enough to undo her completely.

Unfortunately, they were both yanked from their little bubble by the sound of Brienne’s phone.

’’Ignore it.’’

’’I have to get it, Jaime, it could be important.’’

She felt Jaime relent and temporarily move away, but only insofar as it allowed her to reach her phone. Then, he was right back by her side, dropping gentle, soothing kisses on her cheek, both arms wrapped around Brienne’s waist.

’’Tarth. Yes, I’m in my office, I had...uhm...some overdue paperwork I needed to file.’’

Jaime grinned at the blatant lie and held her tighter.

’’Early?’’

The note of alertness in her voice wasn’t missed by Jaime, and he immediately let go so Brienne could boot up her laptop. He simply stood aside and let her do her job, eventually realizing he probably shouldn’t even be in the room, his clearance level wasn’t nearly as high as Brienne’s. As Brienne finished the call, he approached cautiously, placing a hand on her shoulder

’’Brienne, I’m going to go, let you get on with whatever that call was about.’’

Brienne lifted her hand to the one resting on her shoulder.

’’Stay. It concerns you, too.’’

Throwing a quizzical arch of eye brow Brienne’s way, he silently prompted her to explain.

’’Jaime, there is more to this entire situation with...Hunt. The file Pod gave you. It was a plant.’’

’’What do you mean?’’

’’Well...’’

Brienne shifted in her chair and Jaime got a feeling his evening was about to take yet another tumultuous turn.

’’We have been tracking certain members of The Committee for a while now. We had a plan in place for when most of these particular members were taken in. ’’

’’Hunt.’’

’’Yes. His file had to remain unlinked to what we were actually doing. He was mine to deal with. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the true extent of his reach or even that he was part of The Committee but I had already slipped enough by giving you his name. Call it a moment of weakness.’’

’’I’m afraid I’m going to need a bit more than that, Brienne. Because no matter what, I am still very much ready to slit the man’s throat. ’’

He held up her hand at the look on Brienne’s face.

’’And I know, I know what you’re going to say. I know now how important it is for you to get me out of that mindset, and I promise you I won’t do anything...but that promise doesn’t make the urge to do it go away.’’

’’I know, Jaime. Look at me. I know you can be strong for the both of us, but we all have a part to play. And yours lasts till the end, as does mine. No first act exits, okay?’’

Jaime nodded and a genuine smile blossomed on his beautiful face. Brienne realized she would never get tired of looking at him. She pressed pause on her amorous haze and continued.

’’That call was from my direct supervisor. There is a need-to-know op designed to apprehend a certain number of individuals – Hunt included – who form part of the very foundation of The Committee. We had always known that The Committee had people in strategic places all over the world who were helping Bolton stay under the radar, especially now that our latest intel says that he is not merely their number One for Middle East anymore but that he is now, how shall I put it – a global entrepreneur. We’ve had zero success in identifying these people and it was only recently that we were able to find another way in which we could round them all up, identify them and take them down, hopefully learning more about the organization itself so we could further Cerulean’s ultimate goal – destruction of The Committee proper.’’

Jaime nodded, now entirely engrossed with what was happening, eager to know what he could do and how he could help.

’’Incidentally. it was the night you and I met that started this particular ball rolling.’’

’’What do you mean?’’

’’Well, as you know, with you came Bronn. And about two months ago, Bronn’s unit had been sent on a reconnaissance and retrieval mission to Prague. The target was apprehended and shipped back to us for interrogation. It was only a minor mission, the captive a minor cog in a well-oiled machine. However, we took down several of his cohorts too, and they were brought back to London as well. And when it was time to question them, Bronn had been present. He’d put in a request for further training, so his liaison officer granted him clearance to observe the processing of new detainees. Imagine Bronn’s surprise and rage when one of them spoke and he recognized the voice of his Committee handler.’’

Jaime, shocked by the words, was simply rendered mute, and Brienne could tell he was letting the past flood his mind, if the sudden angry curl of his lip was anything to go by.

’’Focus on me right now Jaime, no ugly trips down memory lane. Okay?’’

Jaime looked down at his lap, his hair curtaining his eyes.

’’Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself.’’

Brienne smiled and continued.

’’Chin up and moving on, soldier, there’s something to be said for good old fashioned British reserve, eh?’’

Jaime couldn’t hold in a laugh at that and Brienne joined in. Soon, though, they refocused and she carried on.

’’After the initial shock had worn off, Bronn was able to tamp down the urge to go inside and carve the man’s eyes out. Instead he excused himself and found me, told me all about it. We needed to verify it, needed dates of the calls, needed details of the targets he was given. We had already gone through all of that with both of you when you first started your training, but we needed to be thorough. And when we sent a team back to Prague to sniff through the man’s life the little snowball started rolling into an avalanche.

Under interrogation, he revealed several other handlers’ names. Only a few, but it was enough for a start. It was a bit of luck that one of them just happened to be Hunt, as he was already a person of interest in one of my on-going ops on a completely unrelated matter. I took it upon myself to further that angle of the investigation. My little foray into the bastard’s world was so I could gather enough intel to finally render him useless and to cross him off our list, which would enable us to finally start rounding them all up. It was amazing to see how lax some of them were about keeping their secret. An errant scrap of paper here, a text there, it was work of no more than one month to get all I needed from Hunt.’’

’’If it wasn’t for you two stepping into MI6, showing us how their ’’contract’’ hits really worked... And now we have more than nine hundred identified handlers, two hundred or thereabouts who hold some of the upper positions within The Committee - some as close as we’ll ever get to Bolton himself. Tonight we initiated one of the final recon missions, in India. That was Ned on the phone, calling to tell me that it had been a success, and it had gone down quicker than we’d thought. We finally have the all-clear to start positioning our people all over the world and begin the actual physical takedown of the entire bloody monster. Sever the tentacles where possible, but focus on the head. Because with Bolton out there, the tentacles just regenerate.’’

Jaime nodded, entranced, proud, hopeful.

’’Walk me through it. I mean, I suppose now I’ve got the clearance as I’m still sitting here?’’

Brienne nodded.

’’We’ve managed to trace the main bank accounts in the Grand Caymans used to fund their various fronts and have put a Trojan horse of sorts in each of them. When we want to, the accounts will be frozen, seemingly due to a glitch the banks will have no success in fixing. The glitch will affect their current missions, as will the lack of agents and handlers all over the world. Once taken in they will be processed accordingly.’’

’’Processed accordingly is a euphemism for tortured to within an inch of their lives, I assume?’’

’’You know what they say about ’’assume’’, don’t you?’’

Jaime smiled knowingly at the telling, grim smirk on Brienne’s face.

’’Though they are perfectionists in one aspect, the whole ugly lot of them. We found an enormous ledger with all your names in it. What made my stomach turn was the fact you were rated and summoned based on performance and availability. They were basically functioning as an HR company.’’

’’With a bloodier purpose, though.’’

’’And you ranked somewhere near the top of the UK register. Jaime, what if he’d recognized you? What if you were stuck in that house, alone, no one to hear you...because you have no idea what else that man is capable of, the people he is connected to. Do you see now why I couldn’t let you anywhere near him?’’

Jaime’s eyes hardened.

’’Send me on one of the final take-down missions.’’

Brienne just blinked at the words, unsurprised at the request in the slightest. Thinking the locations over, she spoke.

’’Moscow. In two days. You’ll be with Bronn’s team. You’ll have to be at the brief in the morning and then they’ll fill you in on all the rest. So, Major Lannister...welcome to Operation Oathkeeper.’’

In jest, she held out her hand for Jaime to shake, but he stood up, took the proffered hand and pulled her in, needing more contact.

Brienne readily accepted the embrace and buried herself in the warmth of Jaime’s arms. She leaned her forehead against Jaime’s shoulder, nerves getting the best of her.

’’Promise me you’ll be careful.’’

’’Brienne, I can assure you, now that I have you to come back to, the amount of precaution I will be taking is ridiculous. Trust me.’’

That said, he walked them both over to land on the plush sofa, his lips already finding their home pressed against Brienne’s, the slide and friction rekindling a fire in all too different areas.

’’Darling, much as I’d love to take this further...you need to sleep. Its’ late and the brief is at 5 AM.’’

Jaime grudgingly admitted Brienne was right and pecked her on the lips once more for good measure before getting up.

’’Oh, god Brienne, your paper weight. I’m so sorry.’’

’’Nothing to be sorry for. It was a gift from Ned, I’ve needed a good excuse to get rid of it for ages now, the thing is an eye-sore.’’

’’Oh, well then...you are most welcome. Now...walk me to my quarters?’’

’’Of course. But you need to be on your best behavior, otherwise I have a feeling neither of us is going to be up for anything come tomorrow morning.’’

’’Scouts honor, Ms Tarth.’’

Throwing a particularly flirty wink over her shoulder, Brienne sauntered out of the room, an enamored Jaime following suit.

 


	9. Chapter 9

  


’’You have to get some sleep Jaime, I’m overstaying my welcome as is.’’

‘‘Never. And I’m not tired.’’

‘‘I seem to recall you promising to behave.’’

‘‘I think you’ll find that in making that promise I was referring to other ways in which I may be considered naughty, if you catch my drift? And I do believe I am holding onto that promise quite steadfastly.’’

Brienne chuckled and leaned her forehead against Jaime’s collarbone. Brienne had agreed to come in for a cup of tea before she let Jaime get some sleep and drove herself to her cold, empty house. But, somehow, one cup turned to two and then those two turned to red wine she knew they would regret come morning, but somehow, both were as of yet to move from the cozy nest of blankets on Jaime’s bed.

This was the phase of coming to terms with how they felt, with welcoming the feeling fully into their hearts, and they were both enjoying the moments thoroughly. Jaime was at peace with Brienne’s words, and the primary emotion in Brienne’s entire body was relief. Relief that she’d gotten to Jaime in time. Relief that she had finally gotten chance to say the words. Relief that they would, hopefully, spend so many more evenings like this together. Only with far less clothes on, if Brienne had anything to say about it.

‘‘Jaime?’’

Jaime looked up at her, his jade colored eyes glinting drowsily and Brienne had to fight the urge to kiss him again.

‘‘Did you…I mean…’’

There was a note of unease in Brienne’s voice and Jaime was immediately alert. He cupped Brienne’s face and leaned their foreheads together.

‘‘You know you can ask me anything and tell me anything you want, right?’’

Brienne smiled shyly and nodded.

‘‘It’s just, back in my office you were very…and now you’re a little less…Even though I know I’m the one who asked you to behave...’’

She groaned at how distinctly less than eloquent she was being. She took a breath and started over.

‘‘What I’m trying to say, in this grotesquely convoluted manner is…before, you were very eager to…and now you’re…well, not.’’

Brienne almost melted at the way Jaime’s nose did a little shimmy. She realized almost immediately into their acquaintance that it was something Jaime did when he was about to say something serious. It was merely one of the adorable quirks she would forever associate with him.

‘‘Brienne, you mustn’t think that I will ever be anything less that very much interested in…being with you… but…’’

Jaime paused, trying to figure out how exactly to word his next thought without Brienne exploding in anger. Fortunately, Brienne beat him to it.

‘‘You don’t think I’m ready…because of…’’

‘‘It’s not that I don’t think you’re ready. It’s that I want our first time for you to be an experience removed as far as possible from what happened. I know you Brienne, and I know you understand. Say you understand?’’

With a sigh, Brienne laced their fingers together.

‘‘I do. You know, there are sometimes quite long stretches of time in a day when I simply forget it happened. And it is so blissful to forget. Unlike many other women who have gone through the same thing, I just have an occasional nightmare; I got off scot free in comparison. The nightmares I can live with and the physical bruises have faded long ago.’’

She felt Jaime’s body tense at her words and in response rubbed soothing circles across the warmth of his lower back. Feeling her actions working, and Jaime loosening, she continued.

‘‘But what the hardest thing of the entire mess was...’’

She hadn’t even realized she’d begun to cry until she saw one of her tears soak its way through the material of Jaime’s pajama bottoms. Jaime immediately got up and reversed their position, laying Brienne down gently, carding her fingers through her short locks.

‘‘It’s okay. Tell me.’’

‘‘I’m just so incredibly sad. All the time. The feeling won’t let me be. I’m sad at the unfairness of it all. Sad that he’d marked me for life. Miserable for the way this whole situation made you feel. Overall…pretty bleak. And I cannot for the life of me shake it off. It’s lessened over time, but it won’t go away.’’

‘‘Oh Brienne.’’

Jaime slowly slid down on the bed, spooning Brienne, trying to pour all the feelings into the points of contact between their bodies. Their hearts beat almost in unison, and it made both of them realize they were now infinitely tied to the other’s life force. As if lassoed together, Jaime’s heart will never again function normally, if at all, unless Brienne’s is as well, and vice versa. Jaime felt like the Major Lannister of ages ago would have run for the hills at the very notion of such commitment, but now all he wanted to do is bask in the glory of belonging to Brienne, the one person he could ever call the love of his life. And the knowledge that he couldn’t undo the evening Brienne’s life took a turn for the horrid was one of the heaviest burdens he’d ever have to carry with him.

‘‘This feeling. When does it ebb? Maybe we can work with those moments. Make them work for you. Make them a constant.’’

Brienne smiled.

‘‘Right now, actually. I hardly feel any of the misery. I see just a vague edge of it on the horizon, but I feel like that’s only because I have to go home soon.’’

‘‘Then don’t. ‘‘

‘‘Jaime.’’

‘‘No, we don’t have to do anything, I could sleep on the floor if you want.’’

‘‘Jaime Lannister, if I hear you spout such utter nonsense one more time I’m going to be very cross with you. ‘‘Sleep on the floor’’, honestly! What I meant to explain through all this was …I think I was ready for you…to be yours… the moment I saw you puke your guts out so daintily under the influence of Angel Path.’’

Jaime shut his eyes at the memory.

‘‘Ugh, don’t remind me.’’

Brienne giggled quietly through her tears and continued.

‘‘What happened to me doesn’t change that fact. And if you would let me come to the ultimate point. You and I work at a place that could take you away from me forever in one single second. We live on the very edge, all the time, and I don’t want to waste another minute of this very precious existence without knowing what it’s like to…be with you. And since I’ve already stayed way longer than I intended to, why not make a night of it?’’

She turned to face Jaime, her eyes now brighter, the shadows having retreated under Jaime’s kind, watchful nature.

Brienne maintained eye contact as her fingers deftly undid the first buttons of Jaime’s pajama shirt, her fingers slipping inside, the echoes of Jaime’s raging heartbeat jolting her into saying what she was trying to all this time. She leaned into Jaime, her voice barely a whisper, the words spilling hotly on the now exposed golden skin. A request and question in one.

’’Make love to me?’’

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Jaime felt all breath leave his body at Brienne’s words and shut his eyes against the onslaught of emotions, his heart thudding painfully in his suddenly constricting rib-cage.

‘‘Brienne…are you sure?’’

Brienne’s eyes softened even more, a warm smile soothing all of Jaime’s worries. Instead of answering verbally, she grasped his right hand in hers, rubbing soothing circles into the palm.

For Brienne, abstaining from sex was never an issue. Despite being a highly sensual being, she would power through the want if the attraction for someone couldn’t be quenched at that very moment – and for her, this was often the case, she wasn’t going to lie to herself. Or she would just take care of it on her own. But this, what she felt for Jaime, the need with which this desire burned though her entire body was so very overwhelming. She had been successful in reining it in but there came a breaking point. She had no idea she had a breaking point! But as it turns out, she did, and it took form in a protective Jaime Lannister. Willing to kill for her, willing to do anything to make her feel safe and loved. Major Lannister, the lithe, tall, beautiful golden lion. And Brienne was well past the point in her life where she could deny herself so easily, if the object of her desires was so very…perfect. In every possible way.

She released Jaime’s hand only to keep unbuttoning his shirt, each new button revealing a new expanse of excitement, her fingers hungrily mapping their way down his muscled chest. Jaime’s pulse was erratic, and matched hers down to a tee. She leaned in, cheek to cheek, and whispered, so low and hot that had his heart been any louder in its rampant thumping he would have missed the sultry invite.

‘‘Go on, Major, take what’s yours.’’

Brienne’s words seemed to have pushed a certain button, for she heard a deep, subdued growl come from the Jaime’s throat, and felt herself being flipped onto her back. She wouldn’t usually allow such dominance as she herself was a leader in all areas of her life, but Jaime…Jaime had awoken parts of her she couldn’t have even dreamed existed and she was more than happy to let him.

His impossibly green eyes shone down on her form, as if deciding which part of her to ravish first. But there was still uncertainty there, Brienne could tell. Still a moment of fear Hyle bloody Hunt was creating in Jaime’s heart and mind and Brienne would have none of it. She moved her right leg and situated one of Jaime’s thighs between hers, exerting just the right amount of pressure to make herself lose the ugly train of thought. Her moan did things to him, she could tell.

‘‘Not playing fair, Brienne.’’

‘‘Not trying to.’’

Suddenly, clothes were too much of a barrier, and Brienne decided that the sooner she felt Jaime’s naked body against hers, the sooner she could go on with this entire process of reaching the heavens. Especially since even with just Jaime’s kiss she already felt half way there.

‘‘Come on then, soldier, didn’t they teach you expediency is key?’’

Jaime responded by peeling Brienne’s trousers off her in one swift movement, her shirt following suit.

‘‘And I suppose you call this fair, then?’’

Jaime tilted his head questioningly, and Brienne simply arched her eyebrow at his own clothes.

‘‘I should think it’s my turn to help you.’’

Now only in her bra and knickers, she crawled over to an entranced Jaime. Sliding her hands over the remaining buttons of his shirt, she slipped her hands under, sliding it off his shoulders.

She let her hand tentatively explore the impossibly perfect golden skin of Jaime’s chest until she felt him reach for her, palming her breasts. She moaned and leaned into the touch. He pressed feverish kisses against her neck, all the while cupping and squeezing the mounds, marveling at the perfect way they fit in his hands, from their weight to the shape and the stirring of his cock they caused.

‘‘Oh Jesus…Jaime…’’

Jaime responded by laying them both back down, his mouth following the trail from the column of Brienne’s perfect long neck to her flushed chest and finally to the perfection that he previously held in his hands. He took one hard nipple in his mouth and sucked, feeling her arch further into his mouth. Ever the perfectionist, Jaime gave the other nipple due attention as well, all the while his hand sliding down Brienne’s toned stomach, slipping below the waistband of her knickers he was annoyed to find were still on her hips.

‘‘Lift.’’

Brienne did as instructed and felt him slide the fabric  down her legs, and then those talented fingers were on her, teasing ever so deliciously, so much so she thought she might just die of the heart palpitations alone. She felt a fresh burst of liquid between her thighs.

‘‘Oh, god Brienne…you are positively drenched.’’

Jaime observed in awe the glistening wetness of Brienne’s inner thighs, the heady scent a lovely addition to the sensual atmosphere of the room.

He climbed up the bed because he realized he couldn’t do what he was about to do for the first time ever without looking at her face. Drinking in her every reaction.

‘’Brienne, darling, look at me.’’

Her ragged breaths subsided slightly and she opened her eyes, her cheeks flushed. Jaime smiled, brushed an errant lock of blonde hair off her forehead, his heart full for the first time in such a long time.

‘‘I love you, Brienne.’’

A lump of emotions caught in her throat at hearing him say the words in such a reverent way. Fighting the urge to bury her face in the crook of his neck, she took a deep, shaky breath.

‘‘And I love you.’’

Jaime’s dexterous fingers chose that moment to delve further between her thighs, teasing at first, but as she pleadingly grasped at his hips, spreading her legs further, needing more contact, Jaime obliged and slid two fingers inside, pumping them in and out slowly, listening to the rhythm her body was setting. As the speed of her want increased, he felt her entire body trembling against his. He slid one more finger inside, curling the three digits just so, the pads caressing that spot inside Brienne he knew were guaranteed to send her soaring.

Then, as ever, Brienne surprised him by flipping their positions, effectively trapping Jaime  underneath her body, riding his fingers to completion.

Jaime couldn’t breathe for the sight of the glorious Brienne Tarth with her eyes now tightly closed against the onslaught of pleasure, undulating her hips back and forth, head thrown back.

Seconds later, Brienne let her body snap forward, aftershock of the orgasm echoing through Jaime’s body, too, making him impossibly harder.

 

* * *

  


‘‘Your turn.’’

Brienne smirked through the haze of post-orgasmic bliss.

‘‘You sure you have it in you, Ms Tarth?’’

‘’Is that a challenge, soldier?’’

Jaime's breath hitched at the words, and just as he saw Brienne smirk and glide towards him, the sound of the alarm went off.

‘‘Fuck!’’

‘‘It cannot be 4 AM already!?’’

Brienne sighed.

‘‘Well, it is. Come on, you have a briefing in an hour and a training session after that and I need to get home, shower and change before I come back and coordinate with Ned. We need to deal with some of the minor ops that come before yours.’’

Jaime smiled and kissed her chastely.

‘‘I’m sorry, by the way, I should have, you didn’t even get to-’’

He stopped her, holding her hand in his and kissing the palm.

‘‘Brienne…what you allowed me to do just now…if we never did anything ever again, I would die happy, knowing I brought such pleasure to you. Do you understand you have nothing to be sorry for?’’

Brienne simply ducked her head, nodding and blushing.

Jaime watched Brienne get dressed, the pleasure of their lovemaking still coursing through his veins. As Brienne placed one last goodbye kiss to his lips, he closed his eyes to take it all in before heading to the shower.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftershocks of Operation Oathkeeper

 

’’Well, that was...underwhelming?’’

Robert  laughed as he maneuvered the chopper onto the helipad.

’’That’s usually what we aim for. This one goes in the win column, Jaime. And as far as the rest of the ops, Pod’s sending out some very satisfactory numbers. We’ve got ’em. Brienne and Stark will be through the roof with the sense of triumph. Feel like a drink when all this blows over? I think a night bonding with the rest of the agents over a few pints and shots is exactly what you need.’’

’’Sure.’’

The minute he entered the building, on his way to the Comm’s room with the rest of her team, his gut twisted uncomfortably and a feeling that something was wrong washed over him. Jaime Lannister was normally not the kind of person to believe in forebodings and alike, in fact he was more than likely to snort in rejection at the mere thought, but somehow, this was different.

Having reached the Communications’ center, his eyes scanned the space for Brienne. She wasn’t there, that much was obvious, as the only two people at the center Comm unit were Ned Stark and Pod. He shot a questioning look at Pod and the boy averted his eyes quicker than Jaime ever thought possible.

The debrief started, Stark going through all the important details of their missions and other missions, declaring Operation Oathkeeper a huge success.

Jaime paid no attention to his winning rant and kept looking around for any sight of Brienne. Just as Stark was wrapping up, he felt his leg twitch and bounce up and down with the added nerves.

Finally, after what felt like an eon of pointless words, the man was done and they were on their way back, each to their own daily tasks.

Immediately, Jaime cornered Pod at his station before he ran off and hid in his office, which by the looks of his countenance he was much inclined to do.

’’What happened, where is she?’’

’’Jaime...I...I figure this time it’s best I don’t say anything. She is most probably up on the roof, I saw her head up there before Stark came in. So, find her and ask her. Like you told me last time - not my story to tell.’’

Jaime’s eyes slid firmly shut at the memory and he nodded, his mouth set into a firm line.

’’You’re right, Pod. Sorry for putting you in a tight spot.’’

’’That's okay, Jaime. You can make it up to me by finding her and talking to her. It seems to be the only thing that helps these days.’’

Jaime nodded and almost sprinted towards the elevator.

 

* * *

  


The crazy chill of a December morning hit him as soon as he pushed his way through the thick metal doors separating him from the roof proper.

He zipped up his jacket and did a primary search of the roof. A flutter of movement by their favorite location - the sturdy fire escape railing - grabbed his eye. He took a  deep breath and joined Brienne who was by that point deeply aware of his presence. It seemed there was no way she would ever not feel Jaime Lannister, no matter where she was, even with the howling of the wind and the cluttering of her very own deafening thoughts.

Brienne felt Jaime sit next to her. He was silent, and Brienne knew she was being left alone without really being left alone. Jaime counted on her to talk when she wanted to.

Slowly, she unfurled her right fist which was clutching a piece of paper tightly. Stiffly, and without looking at him, she handed it over.

As Jaime read through it, Brienne imagined she could almost feel the man’s hackles rising and her left hand went to grab Jaime’s right, the one not currently gripping the memo as if his life depended on it. She laced their fingers together, squeezing tightly, feeling the corresponding pressure.

’’They cannot be serious, Brienne.’’

Brienne’s heart went out to Jaime. Even though this was her monster, by telling him, by involving him, she had made it Jaime’s, too, and she thought she could never be able to apologize enough for it. Not that Jaime would want to hear any of it.

’’Oh, but they are. And, I suppose in the long run that is what’s best for Cerulean, for Oathkeeper, for all of it.’’

Jaime swallowed with difficulty, the news leaving his throat sand-paper dry. Brienne continued, the helplessness in her voice too strong for Jaime to even begin to process.

’’I guess I’m being selfish. One of the things that got me through the days was the notion, the knowledge that it was I, in fact, who held his miserable existence in the palm of my hand. That when Oathkeeper was done, I would be judge, jury and executioner because he would no longer be a relevant factor. He would no longer be able to hurt anyone. He would no longer...be able to hurt me. And then he goes and makes them believe he has something to bargain with. If only I’d been with Ned when he’d interrogated him, I’d have been able to...oh I don’t know...who am I kidding... I’ll just have to get used to the idea he and I will forever be linked, especially if, according to a different memo I got, he becomes part of Cerulean’s version of a Witness Protection Program.’’

Jaime could take no more of it. He jerked his hand away from Brienne’s and almost ran down the steps they were sat on.

’’Jaime?’’

Brienne was now alert, wondering if maybe she shouldn’t have been as blunt about her feelings, maybe she should have toned it down for Jaime’s sake. But for Brienne, Jaime was the one and only safe space, and fight as she might, she simply found herself unable to keep it in.

’’I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting this on you...again.’’

Jaime whirled around to face her and Brienne let out a tiny, almost inaudible gasp at the fire burning in his eyes. She tilted her head slightly sideways, processing the expression and let a small smile curve her lips.

’’Breathe, Jaime. I can see the cogs turning, and I can see the anger and hatred that made them start. How’s about, for now, you extinguish the bad, we go have a bite to eat, and then maybe, when I get some food in you, we can talk about the plan I already know is forming in that beautiful mind of yours? How’s that?’’

Jaime held her closer, placing a kiss on the tender column of her neck, his lips then following a trail upwards, reaching her lips. The kiss was nothing like their previous ones, but in a way, achingly familiar as well. His tongue sought and was granted entrance and as he took in Brienne’s moans of pleasure, he poured his heart into the kiss, making it the best embrace both of them had ever experienced.

As they parted, Brienne felt the first snow begin to fall. Jaime smiled.

  
  


 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne make plans for Hunt. Pod helps, but brings with him an additional surprise of the not-so-good kind.

There would be no force in this world able to save the man from certain death now. There would definitely be no Brienne to grant him a reprieve now there was no need for it. If anything, Brienne would want to help destroy him, or so Jaime fervently hoped. The Major’s entire essence churned with a newly-minted hatred. After the first wave of it had left him mostly feeling embittered, powerless and cold, numb to anything but Brienne and her needs, this second shock gave him the boost needed to steel his resolve fully and start planning.

A tumbler of whiskey in his hand, he could feel Brienne’s eyes on him, all the way across her spacious living room. They’d agreed they needed to talk, but doing so while at HQ seemed wrong somehow, so they drove back to Brienne’s house.

He swallowed the gulp of alcohol, not really tasting it, but letting its sharpness warm him after a cold Moscow day and a surprisingly colder English evening.

‘‘Penny for your thoughts?’’

‘‘Hah…I don’t think you need me to tell you what’s on my mind, Brienne.’’

Brienne sighed sympathetically and wound her arms around Jaime’s neck leaning her forehead against his looking at the man who had come to mean everything to her in such a short period of time.

‘‘So…how do you want to proceed?’’, she asked.

Jaime looked at her brushed the back of his hand down her face, fingers grasping her chin lightly, a wicked grin blossoming on his handsome features. Brienne felt the need to cross her legs just at the mere sight of his shockingly handsome features. But then again, that was her reaction to him most of the time.

‘‘There are a few options, with differing levels of gruesome. Question is…how much do we want him to suffer?’’

Identical smirks adorned their faces.

It made Brienne’s heart rejoice at hearing Jaime say ‘‘we’’. They were indeed one single entity. Back when she and Pod picked up Jaime she tried to imagine (horrid though the idea was) how she herself would feel if their situation was reversed. If it was Jaime who had suffered at the hands of anyone resembling Hyle Hunt and his ill ways. She found herself unable to breathe, tears clogging her throat. It was a stroke of luck (ha!) that they were in a rather tense position inside that car to be doing any talking.

The notion of Jaime being in any kind of danger made her realize just how much she would be willing to do to retaliate.

 

* * *

  


They knew it would be difficult, and put their jobs as well as lives in danger. But the truth was, both were past the point of caring anymore. They were ensconced comfortably on Brienne’s sofa in front of a roaring fire after a very long day at HQ and Brienne felt Jaime’s head land comfortably on her shoulder.

‘‘He is being transferred to our holding facility in Surrey in three hours.’’, Brienne uttered almost under her breath. Jaime, immediately alert, lifted his head and the stiffness in his body returned. His voice, however, was more soothing than Brienne had ever heard it.

‘‘I told you, it’s okay, the plan is simple enough. Little rugrat Pod owes me after he told on me like the teacher’s pet he is’’,  said Jaime with a smirk and without malice.

‘‘Don’t be too harsh on him, Jaime, he helped prevent what could have potentially ended up being a disaster of epic proportions.’’

‘‘I know. Sorry. You know, I feel calmer now that we have a plan of action.’’

‘‘Do you think it’ll work?’’

‘‘If I didn’t I wouldn’t have suggested it. That said, it’s not like I’m not shitting a brick at the thought of something going wrong. It's not like what we do is an exact science, unfortunately.’’

Brienne knew what he meant. He was thinking of Brienne and her involvement, afraid for her well-being, both physically and mentally.

‘‘You mustn’t ponder the ‘‘what-ifs’’. And put a little more faith in my abilities as field operative, I have been here much longer and have picked up a colorful array of quite useful tricks to keep up my sleeve.’’

‘‘I know, but it’s a reflex. Like when I think of Myrcella behind the wheel of a car. I know she is a perfect driver, but that doesn’t stop my heart from wanting to leap out of my chest at the sight.’’

Brienne slid further down in Jaime’s arms and sighed contentedly.

‘‘I wish we could stay like this forever. The very notion of going back to HQ nauseates me right now.’’

‘‘When our…’’task’’ is done, I might just take you up on that. But now, shop talk. How long does it take to process him into the system?’’

‘‘Usually, after he gives them all he has to bargain with and all the paperwork has been duly filed, about three days.’’

‘‘Hmm…then we wait for two to pass. On the third one we go after him. Pod has enough IT prowess to get us the directory of the protection program, we should have everything we need catch him in transport. Brienne-’’

She knew what was coming before he even managed to utter it.

‘‘Don’t even think of saying it. I’m going and that’s final. For goodness sake you’re making me feel like a child.’’

She extricated herself from Jaime’s embrace and stalked over to the mantel, fiddling with the knick-knacks and mementos adorning it. She grasped the marble firmly as she felt Jaime sidle up behind her. His arms encased her and once again Brienne was overwhelmed by the feeling of safety. She turned in Jaime’s arms and drew him further in.

‘‘I know you can take care of yourself Brienne, but…I just…’’

Brienne could feel the wild thumping of her love’s heart and on instinct, her palms rubbed soothing circles on Jaime’s back.

‘‘I know, Jaime. I want, I need to do this because it could have easily not have been me. In some other parallel universe it could have been you. Hell, it could have been you the other night. And I know I was the one who just said not to let ‘‘what-ifs’’ be an issue…I can’t let that particular nightmare go. I have to deal with it. Just like you’ve shown me you need to. ‘‘

Brienne felt Jaime take a deep breath and nod into her shoulder.

‘‘Okay.’’

‘‘So no more nerves, soldier.’’

‘‘We’ve got this.’’

‘‘Indeed we do.’’

And when Jaime pressed his lips to hers, she’d realized, letting the feeling of tranquility run through her, that truer words have never been spoken.

 

* * *

  


_**Two days later** _

‘‘When did Pod say he was going to be here?’’

As Jaime said it, the door bell rang and Brienne went to answer it, promptly ushering the man inside.

‘‘You have it?’’, Jaime said, Brienne immediately picking up at the eagerness in the tone he was actually doing well in concealing. Pod probably hadn’t noticed a thing. Brienne realized early on that she would always be able to read Jaime Lannister like an open book.

Pod nodded but by the look on his face Brienne could tell something was wrong.

‘‘Pod…’’

She let her boss tone envelop him and watched the wariness intensify.

‘‘Well, as far as Hunt is concerned, we’re all good on that front, but Boss, there’s something I think you should see.’’

Her brows knit together in confusion. Jaime showed Pod to the study.

As he inserted the flash drive, Brienne felt a storm brewing in her mind and couldn’t help but feel that whatever this was, it was going to change quite a few things.

‘‘First thing’s first. Hunt’s transport truck and subsequent chopper ride are scheduled for Tuesday, 5 am. Until then, he is safely guarded in Surrey. I got the blueprints for you, and…’’, he took the messenger bag off his shoulder and handed it to Jaime. ’’I thought you might need some basic provisions.

She opened it, seeing it contained several vials of Kalynorphine and half a dozen guns, different in size and fire power.

‘‘We’re quite well stocked already, but a few more guns in our arsenal wouldn’t go amiss. Cheers, Pod.’’, Jaime tapped him on the shoulder in thanks.

‘‘I take it, the guns are clean of the serial numbers and the vials are under the radar collects?’’

‘‘Of course, Brienne, you’ve taught me well. ’’

She smirked.

‘‘Perhaps a little too well.’’

 

* * *

  


''Now, Agent  Payne, what is it you wanted to show me?''

She watched him hand the first USB stick to Jaime and insert a second one.

''As I was searching through the Witness Protection Program, I found Hunt easily. When I got all I needed on him, I thought I was done. But then something caught my eye. A familiar name. And when I started digging deeper, I couldn't believe my eyes. Here, have a seat. I highlighted all the important bits for you.''

Brienne did as she was told and started reading. It was a directory of current addresses of every single criminal, Committee-related or otherwise, who had ever entered the program -  basically being pardoned for their sins via good old-fashioned barter trade. She hated the bloody thing with every fiber of her being.

Suddenly, having recognized the first name and then as the avalanche continued, she stood up so quickly that she knocked over the chair. Jaime saw her clench her fists so hard her hands had become white.

''Brienne?''

''Don't...just...let me be...let me be for a minute...''

She walked away in the direction of the master bedroom, leaving a worried Jaime and Pod behind.

''Pod? What's going on?''

He turned to the computer screen and started reading out loud.

''2003,the year Brienne started as head of Cerulean's tactical divison – Lenard Miles, Peter Jacobs, Daniel Layos, Catalin Nagy etc. 2004-Nym Peternek, Richard Duhles, Mark Robertson, Julia Clarke. And so on and so on, so many more for each subsequent year. They are  a miscellaneous, mismatched,  merry band of child porn peddlers, drug ring leaders, mass murderers, human traffickers and overall sadists. What they all have in common is Brienne. They are all her captures. Bigwigs in the Committee. All people she was led to believe were being punished accordingly and/or duly executed. These are heavily guilty people, Jaime.''

''Jesus Christ, Pod...''

Jaime felt a tightening in his chest, anger coiling in his veins. Pod continued.

''By my calculations, these names have to make up at least seventy per cent of her capture rate.''

''So basically, what you're telling me is that Cerulean...that Brienne was being used like a puppet all this time?''

''I'm saying that the woman you love – and do not give me that look, I'm not afraid of you and have known since I first saw you two standing next to each other – has just been told that the majority of her life's work was just one big joke for others to trade with and that a lot of the people she fought so hard to clear these streets of have indeed not been punished but rather were given new lives to continue their ill ways. They are still tainting the world she was trying to protect.''

''Oh gods, Pod...''

Jaime ran up the stairs and towards Brienne's bedroom. What he saw inside was most definitely not what he was expecting. Brienne was in the middle of her bed, packing her bags.

''Brienne?''

She looked up and Jaime was almost physically taken aback by what he saw in that sapphire gaze. Determination. A plan. Fear. And so much anger.

''Talk to me, wench.''

Brienne took a deep breath.

''Hunt is the beginning. The directory is in my possession now. There is nothing stopping me from continuing to burn my way through it.''

Jaime nodded, understanding immediately, the page they were on identical.

''Question is, can I count on you?''

Jaime smiled, relieved.

''No, the real question is, how to pack for such a lengthy mission? I would suggest just the necessities. When we find a base, as we travel further, we'll buy what we need on the go.''

Brienne smiled through a haze of emotions and drew Jaime in for another one of their earth-shattering, soul-searing kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Our couple goes all Boondock Saints on a bunch of baddies. If you haven't seen Boondock Saints(the first part)...well, you haven't lived. If you have seen it - then you know exactly what their escapades will look like. Although, as they are a romantic couple and also not boldly Irish, they will be more quiet and tactful about their approach ;)  
> Hope you liked this chapter :)


	13. Chapter 13

‘‘So, what do you think?’’

Brienne did her best not to gawp, but it was inevitable. Sker House was perfect. Private property, far from prying eyes. Best sound-proofing ever. Perfect for what they had planned.

‘‘How…?’’

Jaime shrugged.

‘‘My father’s through his father, his father’s through his father’s etc. Right now it’s ours. Think of it as our very own private Skyfall – but without the way that one perished, I should hope. Now come on, there are some functional rooms, and the plumbing is in order. And then I’ll take you to see the arsenal, it’s in the basement.’’

Brienne nodded but stopped Jaime in his tracks.

‘‘Brienne?’’

‘‘So, let me get this straight. One of the most famous haunted mansions around…is yours –''

‘‘Ours.’’

‘‘-and you want us to be based here?’’

Jaime’s face fell.

‘‘Don’t you like it? I thought it would be perfect. If you don’t like it, we could go somewhere else, of course.’’

‘‘No, Jaime, it…it’s perfect. You…are perfect.’’

She slid the back of her hand against Jaime’s warm cheek and felt him push into the touch, so endearingly feline-like. Her very own lion.

‘‘But I’m just…in awe. Did you know a lot of people think it’s real…the ghosts I mean….’’

‘‘Well, there have been reports of sightings and alike, but what it really is - the fog and the winds. I think it all stems from the novel set in this house. ‘‘Maid of Sker’’.

Brienne inclined her head, urging him to go on.

‘‘Well, the book talks about a girl, Elizabeth Williams, who they say died of a broken heart, locked away in the house, after her father forbade her from marrying the love of her life. Her ghost allegedly still haunts the hallways, wailing and shrieking as it goes. ‘‘

‘‘How delightfully sad and horrid. I suppose I did always like a good Halloween story.’’, Brienne hummed appreciatively, her eyes flitting from wall to wall taking in the ancient Lannister family portraits and tapestries.

‘‘So …you’ve never been here before?’’

‘‘Not as such, no. Father paid for the upkeep but the family rarely visited.’’

There was a glint in Brienne’s eyes that spoke of mischief, desire and little else. Jaime felt a shudder run down his spine.

‘‘So this is your house-warming?’’, said Brienne, each word bringing her a step closer to him.

‘‘Our house-warming…and, in a way, I suppose it is. Why, what did you have in mind?’’

‘‘Well, I was thinking how little ol’ me didn’t even think to bring you a house-warming present…and how I guess I’ll just have to make do.’’

She undid the sash of her coat and let it fall to the floor before heading for the stairs, undoing the first buttons of her shirt as she went.

‘‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to show me where the first viable room is, Major?’’

The mention of his army rank always brought him to his senses, and Jaime bolted ahead, flinging open the first oak door to the right. The room was bright and spacious and - Brienne was pleased to see - thoroughly cleaned. There were fresh sheets, and the air smelled of lavender and honey.

‘‘Now, I seem to recall a slight matter of an I.O.U.’’

Jaime’s brows furrowed in thought until it dawned on him.

‘‘You know it’s not a balance system, wench. Your pleasure, pleasure of any kind I am providing you with – is my pleasure, too.’’

‘‘Ditto, Major Lannister. Which is why I would like you, to lie back…and let me worship you.’’

As she nudged him backwards, Jaime felt the mattress hit his knees, and he allowed his body to land against the newly made sheets. Brienne almost immediately crawled on top of him, legs astride his, elbows propped next to either side of his head, eyes roaming his face almost hungrily. Jaime’s breath caught in his throat at the amount of tenderness and devotion he saw openly displayed in the normally taciturn woman’s gaze. _Just for him_.

Brienne stopped the visual feast in favor of a tactile one as she let her hand map the planes of Jaime’s body, divesting him of his clothes with each new turn. Soon, Jaime was splayed underneath her, completely naked, both of them breathing heavily. Brienne thought she could actually feel her pupils dilate to their maximum.

She worked on her own clothes and soon, the slide of flesh against flesh was the only sensation they were aware of. She traced a path with her tongue and lips, starting with the strong ridges of his abdomen, his taut stomach and the apex of his thighs. Soon, Brienne slid down his body and positioned herself more comfortably on the huge bed.

As she enveloped him she became well aware that there would never be a moment where she would tire of hearing the sounds he was making as she brought him pleasure.

 

* * *

  


‘‘What is it?’’

They lay in the huge tub in the bathroom, Brienne’s back against Jaime’s chest. She felt drowsier by the minute.

‘‘Just sleepy, I guess. And worried.’’

Jaime shifted them so she could look at her.

‘‘Don’t be. We’re both trained for this. The plan is foolproof. As well as the next one and the next one and the one after that. Because we are where we want to be, we have each other and the goal has never been clearer.’’

Brienne smiled at the way he always knew to put things in perspective.

‘‘You’re right.’’

‘‘Shall we get some sleep? Big day tomorrow.’’

‘‘Hm, yes, I should think so.’’

 

* * *

  


Hyle Hunt’s day couldn’t have started off better. He got news that he was to be transferred to his new life shortly, and he couldn’t wait to be shot of all the members of the surveillance team that have been crawling about the place and his cell. Cell! As if he was some measly criminal of no importance. They were calling it a safe house, but it was no more than a glorified petting zoo. Sheep every which way he looked, with an occasional smattering of geese, chickens and pigs.

And as he stood on the helipad waiting for his ride, being grasped rather rudely by two buffoons the Lego people had hired to keep him from doing a runner(as if he would run away from a new, clean slate) he pondered what he would do first once he reached his destination. A long bath and a shot of bourbon, that was for sure. Beyond that he figured he would wing it.

Thus occupied, he was more than compliant in the hands of his captors, and almost airily slid inside the black helicopter. It wasn’t until they were in the on the move that he realized that the silence had grown louder. He swallowed with some difficulty.

The guards were -  as per regulation, he supposed -  covered in black cloth from head to toe, their eyes the only bit of them visible.

‘‘I don’t suppose there’s a chance of a bottle of water?’’

As he uttered his question he heard the guard to his left let out a chuckle. Hunt was immediately angered by the clearly mocking laughter, but as his guard’s next move was to remove the mask, he decided the laughter was more of a malicious chuckle rather than a good-natured giggle. For if there was ever a look that could kill, he was under its influence. The man’s face and the shock of blond hair were the last thing he saw before an almighty sting ran through his body and he collapsed unconscious to the floor of the helicopter.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chapter End Notes

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sker House, the book and the legend all exist IRL.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter gets darker and more gruesome. Not that much darker, but still, keep in mind.  
> Thanks to everyone for sticking with the story.

’’You don’t have to do this, Brienne.’’

‘‘Jaime, when I want your opinion I will very clearly ask for it.’’

Jaime fondly rolled his eyes at the angry remark, knowing that it was one of Brienne’s ways of dealing with a task she wasn’t particularly looking forward to.

‘‘You may think it’s going to be horrendous for me, but you don’t know the half of it. I do, and it scares even me.’’

Jaime frowned at the words he didn’t quite understand, but at the sight of Brienne huddling deeper into her coat and moving towards the balcony had him closer to an epiphany.

‘‘So…is it time for a Jaime/Brienne version of twenty questions?’’

She couldn’t help but smile at the softness of Jaime’s voice and she cast her eyes downwards, ashamed at her previous outburst. Jaime twined their hands together and moved in closer, letting Brienne lean her forehead against his, as was their custom, and he held her closer. 

‘‘If you’d like?’’

‘‘So…’’, Jaime started, his free hand caressing her hip.

‘‘You’re afraid of yourself and what this whole situation is bringing out of you?’’

No words were uttered in reply, but Jaime felt her nod into his shoulder.

‘‘Okay…and you’re… ashamed?’’

At that, Brienne locked eyes with him and a tear escaped, and he saw her chin quiver, a sight made to destroy him. He held her impossibly close.

‘‘All the deaths that will come after this one…I can see their demise so clearly, and I don’t relish it one bit, save for the fact that I know we’ll be leaving the world a better place. But…him…Him I can’t help but be….god help me, I feel excited at the prospect of killing him. Overjoyed. Like a part of me is putrid and rotten and everything in between and I deserve to have my very essence stomped out.

She felt Jaime tighten his hold and she hugged back just as fiercely, securing her arms more firmly around his waist.

‘‘But at the same time, you know it’s only normal…the way you’re feeling?’’

Jaime’s ‘‘questions’’ were nudging her in the direction of self-pardon and Brienne wasn’t a fool to deny herself relief when it was so freely given. And it was true. Her feelings were normal. It’s just that it was rare that any rape victim got the chance to do what she would be doing once the anesthetic wore off from the bastard’s blood stream.

‘‘Jaime…How do I do this…without doing this?’’

‘‘Oh, love, I’m afraid only you know the answer to that one. And since I know you won’t let anyone else touch him without you dealing with him first -  just remember that he cannot hurt you anymore, in any way, shape or form, and that I will be with you every step of the way.’’

Pod, who had adamantly, and with fierce loyalty, signed himself up for whatever Brienne’s plans were, stuck his head through the door, calling out to her.

‘‘Boss, he’s waking up, I thought you might want to know.’’

His eyes strayed to Brienne’s form questioningly, but Jaime simply waved him off. Brienne turned.

‘‘We’ll be right in. Make sure he’s upright.’’

‘‘You got it.’’

 

* * *

  


The subterranean level of Sker House was simply a kidnapper’s dream, Brienne thought. Dark, with just the right amount of damp to make it horror-movie worthy. Huge vaulting archways, and a medium-sized sitting room in an alcove in the furthest corner, separated from the rest of the space by a sliding metal door.

This is where Jaime was, watching the goings on through the cameras and monitors he and Pod had installed as a manner of surveillance. A proper base needs proper modernization, Pod had argued, and they recognized just how right he was.  For the moment, the set-up was somewhat primitive, given the little time they had to prepare, but Brienne made a mental note to draw up a plan of further technical renovations, if their base was to be fully functional in the future.

However, for the moment, she left any and all other thoughts aside, focusing on the body seated in the metal chair some 20 meters in front of her.

He was definitely awake, his hooded head swiveling maniacally every which way, his labored breaths music to Brienne’s ears. She allowed her dark side to enjoy itself, to come out and play. If this must be done – and it must, she would allow it free reign. She found the strength to root through the pain, and let it come to the surface. She would need it and her anger if she was to execute the punishment fully.

Her breaths leveled and she walked with purpose towards her tormentor. The sound of her stiletto heels echoing perilously against the cold stone made him flinch and she heard his already quickened heartbeat triple. The portable heart monitor Pod had brought with him was something she had personally asked for. She wanted audible proof of fear.

Funnily enough, he had yet to utter a single word. She knew from experience that when submitted to this kind of torture, most would resort to bargaining, or at least asking some kind of question as to their whereabouts.

She left her wonderment at his behavior aside and approached him, finally yanking the hood off, coming face to face with her nightmares.

It didn’t leave her breathless. It didn’t leave her trembling. What it did do, however, was give her a renewed sense of purpose as she stared into his still confused eyes. As she waited for the recognition to come, she allowed herself a smile. All teeth, both seductive and shark-like. He flinched visibly and the penny dropped. Unfortunately, so did his stomach and she only narrowly avoided getting puked on. Projectile vomiting was definitely a perk of Kalynorphine when used on the right person, she thought.

Listening to his post-vomit dry-heaving, she was annoyed at the sound and only then did she suddenly remember that this time, unlike their last encounter, she was the one in control. She spoke, her voice now an octave lower than usual, crisp and crystalline in the perfect acoustics of the room.

‘‘Good evening Mr. Hunt we’ve been waiting a while now.’’

He was taking in deep mouthfuls of air, and seemed to have calmed somewhat. Her words gave him something to process.

‘‘Here, have some water.’’

She nudged a nearby metal tray in his direction. On it was a huge glass of water with a straw in it. One of the notoriously annoying side effects of Angel Path was just how parched it left you after you’ve woken up. As he greedily gulped at the liquid she smiled. And watched.

His eyes widened and he stopped swallowing for a second and turned to her in alarm.

Answering the question she saw there, she nodded, a radiant smile lighting up her features.

‘‘It’s just water, Mr. Hunt. And a few drops of a gel-based solution I designed. Not enough to kill you, surely, but quite enough to-’‘

Her words were cut in half by a coughing fit, as Hunt thrashed in the chair, his restraints holding him up firmly, spittle and blood flying everywhere.

‘‘-enough to hurt and make you bleed. Just a tad. We wouldn’t want to kill you, now would we? Well, not yet anyway.’’

And that’s when his head jerked involuntarily in the direction she’d hoped for. His eyes caught sight of another metal tray, filled with all manner of sharp tools, syringes and alike.

‘‘Brienne….’’

His voice…it did things to her. It woke the real monster. That one single word had the power to undo her in that moment and she knew it. Jaime, sitting behind that metal panel, knew it. The question was whether she would let it.

 

* * *

  


‘‘I have to get out there!’’

As Jaime rushed to the door, Pod’s voice stopped him.

‘‘Have more faith in her, Jaime. She will be fine.’’

 

* * *

  


Pod was right. Just as quickly as it attacked, the monster was vanquished. She was the one lording over it this time.

‘‘Maybe leaving you with your voice wasn’t such a good idea. Oh well, live, you learn, I always say.’’

She shrugged off her long black cashmere coat and draped it over the back of a nearby chair. Snapping on a pair of latex gloves, she walked gleefully over to the tray and the tools it housed.

She edged a chair closer to his, sat directly behind him. The heart monitor was still going wild. She switched it off, not wanting distractions.

‘‘Now, why don’t we start.’’

He felt nothing, just knew that she was moving his body a little to the left, a little to the right, all the way through humming the _Eastenders_ theme song. After some time had passed, he heard her snap the gloves off and walk over to his front and face him.

‘‘The wonders of Kalynorphine –the drug you’re currently under – is that it doesn’t wear off. It just…stops. Like a switch had been flicked. There are so many things I would like to do to you, Mr. Hunt, but I’m afraid I am a rather busy woman, and I simply haven’t got the time required for a proper session, so this will have to do. But don’t worry…lucky for you, it will be over soon.’’

With those words she left him, knowing that within exactly 30 seconds, the drug will have vanished.

Jaime, seated in the observation room, held her hand as the three of them watched wordlessly at the man still wondering what on Earth was going on.

‘‘Five seconds’’, said Pod and Brienne nodded knowingly.

Four…three…two…one.

The shrieks were piercing and agonizing, but not one of the three people flinched. They watched with quiet detachment as Hunt managed to turn over his chair and was now flailing against the stone floor in a pool of his own blood, trying to fight the pain of a thousand incisions, cuts and lacerations of various lengths and depths. Brienne had left just enough blood in him so that he would be awake when Jaime came in.

Jaime left the room and Brienne sat back in the vacated seat. He picked up his choice of weapon, Brienne’s very own Glock .43 and left the room. And as Brienne watched the love of her life press the gun in between Hyle Hunt’s eyes, she knew that this was where they were both meant to be. Together, alive and still fighting.

The gun went off. It was amazing to Jaime how such a vile act could make him feel more alive than he had felt in years.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Pod offered to take care of the body and Jaime and Brienne were grateful for it. In a way, they both saw what happened in the dungeons as the final act. Neither wished another sight of Hyle Hunt’s existence, even if he was deceased.

‘‘Leave it with me, Boss.’’ , he murmured to her as he observed Brienne in the chair she’d vacated only minutes prior.

After a decent while, when Brienne and Jaime heard Pod’s heavy footsteps heading upwards, they knew the mess had been cleared and they let out a joint breath.

‘‘Is it horrid I’m fighting a huge smile right now? And a peal of laughter to boot?’’, asked Brienne, her eyes trained on nothing in particular.

‘‘Not unless you feel like doing a jig is inappropriate as well, which is what I would do if I lacked in decorum.’’

Despite the tiny amount of humor with which their words were intended, both of them remained stone faced.

‘‘We did it, Jaime.’’

‘‘Yes we did.’’

Brienne finally looked up at him and Jaime’s heart clenched with the love he felt for her. He wondered if it would always be like that. If he would always feel undone by Brienne’s eyes, her face, her voice, her amazing brain? He hoped so. Because to live in such a state of perpetual euphoria was a gift he never wanted to relinquish.

‘‘I think, Brienne Tarth, that we need a rest. But not here. I don’t think I could sleep well in this house, at least tonight, knowing that…’’

He stopped himself in time, not wanting to utter what was on both their minds – that Hunt’s body was to be incinerated in the boiler room that evening. She and Pod had agreed night time was better for hiding the possible smoke issue that would develop after using a furnace that had been out of commission for so long.

‘‘Yes, you’re right.’’

‘‘London?’’

‘‘London it is. We do have some loose strings left to deal with.’’

Brienne still had to take an official leave of absence – upping and quitting so soon after the success that was Oathkeeper would be suspicious - and Jaime had decided to quit altogether. For both of them, there was no point in remaining at MI6. From a tactical point of view, maybe, but Brienne felt like she couldn’t live with herself if she in any way aided another criminal slip through the cracks.

Pod was to stay on as head of Comms, and had offered himself as liaison, extracting any necessary information for the two of them when the need arose.

 

* * *

  


‘‘It’s burning.’’

‘‘No it’s not, it’s supposed to smell like that.’’

Brienne fought the urge to roll her eyes and instead focused on the smoke, not wanting to even imagine what would happen if some of the flames occasionally licking their way up from the saucepan were to catch the curtains she had only just managed to persuade Jaime they needed in the kitchen. People being able to look in – even though there were no other houses for miles around – didn’t really sit well with her.

The conversation they had then came back to her in vivid detail:

‘‘This is, for all intents and purposes, a war center, Brienne, it’s not supposed to look lived in..’’ Jaime had argued. That time, Brienne had rolled her eyes and pouted, and of course, Jaime relented. Still, she wanted to know why he was so opposed to a bit of good-natured nesting. It wasn’t like she was suggesting a trip to IKEA. Lord knows she wasn’t picking out curtains for the fun of it, she’d detested every minute of it. But in addition to the practicality of it, they needed a semblance of normalcy, she wanted it _for him_.

And so she decided to simply ask why he was so very much against it, one evening after their return from London. Snuggled close to Jaime, who was still fighting the aftershocks of a delightful orgasm, Brienne spoke, all the while tracing circles on his overheated skin.

Jaime swallowed against a thoroughly raspy throat and turned to face her. The emotion in his words was almost too much for Brienne, and she grasped his hand, tightly weaving it between her palms.

‘‘I don’t want to ‘‘nest’’ as you put it, because this old, smelly, moldy house may be good and well for a war zone and for what we have in mind, but it is certainly not the kind of home I imagined for us.’’

Brienne’s eyes welled with tears and she looked to the ceiling to prevent them from falling. The mere thought that Jaime had imagined their future home was enough to compromise her calm exterior.

‘‘Hey… hey- Brienne…look at me. We are in this for the long haul, yes?’’

Brienne could only nod in agreement.

‘‘Then we do not hide tears from each other.’’

Brienne felt the slide of warm liquid down her cheeks and Jaime’s palms brushing the trail away, replacing it with tender kisses.

‘‘So…’’

‘‘So…we will make a home for ourselves. Not just yet though, while we have a whole lot planned that mostly does not involve being cozy in front of a fire. When we are retired, when we’ve had our fill of souls chastened and punished…then we will find a place to call our own. Because, in the end, my home is where you are. And nothing will change that. At this point in our rogue lives, don’t you think going all domestic it might put quite a dampener on the whole army base/abattoir feel to the place we are trying to cultivate?’’

Brienne burst into laughter and buried herself in Jaime’s arms. She took a deep breath and tried to decipher all the different nuances. Sweat - sweet and sticky; His shampoo –mint and honey; deep arousal – unyielding and intoxicating…and then, there it was, suddenly, the scent gripping her with all the intensity it always did, only now she had the know-how to recognize it. Home.

She smiled, dropping light kisses on Jaime’s shoulder. She was broken out of her reverie by her soldier flipping her onto her stomach, crawling on top of her, their bodies pressed against each other, head to toe. She arched backwards into him and felt his arousal. He  slid a hand to her front, cupping her core, dipping two fingers inside her experimentally.

‘‘My, my, Ms Tarth, ready for round two, and so soon? We’ll make an army wife out of you yet.’’

As she felt the smirk against her shoulder, Brienne impaled herself further onto Jaime’s exploring digits and almost growled.

‘‘No more talking, Major. Fuck me.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was more of a filler chapter in between their missions, but I find I really enjoyed writing it. Frankly, anything that has to do with exploring their emotional side always appeals to me :)  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it, thanks for sticking around!  
> Feedback/comments always much appreciated, as you know! :)


	16. Chapter 16

 

A ludicrous thought came to Brienne as she witnessed the scene unfold and that was that she had no idea blood could look _that_ black against a backdrop of white fabric. Heartbeat loud in her ears, she tried to move, only to be stopped by a whizzing bullet that almost grazed her shoulder.

’’Bri...Brienne, stay...stay down!’’

With each new word, the blood flow increased and the front of Jaime’s tuxedo was now almost completely soaked, his breaths uneven and erratic.

Paying no heed to Jaime’s orders, Brienne ran out from behind her cover, the fabric of her own emerald evening dress fluttering behind her, and concentrated all her senses into locating the shooter. Once she glimpsed a shadow rounding the support beam to her far left, she aimed and took him out clean. Not giving him a second thought she rushed over to Jaime’s side and almost slipped in the glossy maroon that was now seeping at a crushingly alarming rate out of a deep wound in his stomach. Jaime’s hands, and now Brienne’s pressing down onto it seemed to be making no progress in stopping the gushing.

Jaime was rapidly losing consciousness and Brienne did her best to keep him talking.

’’Look at me, Jaime This is the movie ending cliché I hate most, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it play out. Come on, darling, stay with me.’’

Her hands were shaking beyond control but she forced them to steady as she pressed more firmly against Jaime’s stomach with her right one and dialing for Bronn with the left.

’’Bronn? We’re in the underground car park, get Pod and meet us. Jaime’s been shot, we need all the morphine you can get your hands on. Also, tell Pod to grab a handful of the clear pink vials and to bring Missy with him.’’

Silver linings being what they were in Brienne’s life, i.e.-not always that silver but at least somewhat present, she was glad Jaime had been granted a tiny bit of pardon, as it were. Stomach wounds were a bitch in terms of pain and blood loss, but they took notoriously long to exhaust the body. Meaning, Jaime still had at least twenty good minutes for them to take him back to their safe house in the seventh arrondissement, get a transfusion started and pour some of Brienne’s pink concoction, as Jaime called it, down the Major’s very reluctant throat – he was not a fan of the rotten egg taste.

 

* * *

 

  


Brienne held Jaime’s hand, whispering to his prone body for maybe three minutes when she heard hurried footsteps approaching them. Bronn, who had joined them soon after Hunt’s demise was leading the way, Pod following, and Missy was a few feet behind. Brienne had decided to feel out more people who were ready to join them and Pod had expertly vetted the young girl, previously Brienne’s highly skilled first assistant.

Bronn landed on his knees next to Jaime, not caring one bit he was almost literally wading in a pool of his own blood. Semi-conscious, Jaime squeezed Brienne’s hand and tried to form a sentence.

’’Save your strength, darling. Bronn and Pod are going to take you. Missy, is Doctor Lucien at the house?’’

’’Yes, he is up to speed and waiting for our arrival.’’

’’Pod, the vials?’’

’’In my left pocket, boss.’’

Missy retrieved them and handed them to Brienne who uncapped three, approaching Jaime swiftly.

’’I know you hate it, Jaime but right now I need you to open wide.’’

As Jaime obeyed, Brienne thought back to the moment she designed the medication with such gratitude and relief. She had constructed the compound to be able to prep the body for any kind of surgery, and in fact start repairing tissue damage immediately. If the bullet was still inside Jaime, and Brienne knew it was since she saw no sign of an exit wound, the liquid was tasked to dilute it and cleanse the surroundings.

’’Bronn, take him. Pod, cover them.’’

Bronn tried to be as gentle as possible as he carried Jaime’s body towards the stairwell. Brienne was grateful no one had noticed the commotion yet.

’’What do you need me to do?’’, Missy asked.

’’Be with him for the prep and if he needs it, the surgery as well. I don’t want him left alone.’’

’’But...’’

’’I’ll be right behind you, I promise, I just need to take care of something first. I need your laser mini.’’

Missy nodded and retrieved the minuscule yet long-range weapon from the holster on her side.

 

* * *

  


Salvatore Lancazzi, formerly known as Nicolo Mantiano. Child slave owner. Proprietor of numerous brothels that used girls from all around the world, shipping them in like cattle and against their will. Their target of the night. Who somehow managed to get wind of them. The how didn’t matter. What mattered was that now, Jaime was fighting for his life and Brienne was even more of a fallen angel on a warpath.

Her heels clicked ominously against the marble of the lobby of the Paris hotel Lancazzi’s party was held at. Fighting back tears and a growl clinging to her throat, Brienne rounded the corner and entered through the main hall doors. Immediately, all eyes were on her. She realized with some amusement, what a sight she must be. Her gown torn in several places, Jaime’s blood coating her hands, sapphire eyes feral and unyielding. She spotted him immediately, and he looked...entertained. Like he couldn’t believe she’d made it out of the parking lot alive, but that it was of no consequence as he would have her finished off.

She dodged his guards and followed the route she knew by heart that would lead her to the roof and the skylight. She was an excellent shadow, and the guards were soon stumped as to her whereabouts. All she had to do now was wait him out.

And true to form there he was, three escorts in tow. Blonde, brunette and redhead. But before any of their debauchery could begin, Brienne aimed, needing her night to be over with. And in the moment her laser dot centered and settled peacefully on the top of his bald head, it wasn’t the children or the girls she was doing it for. It wasn’t the endless streak of innocents she was avenging. It was a single, broken soldier who she would never stop fighting for.

Not even the screams of the three unfortunate ladies of the night could stop the smile spreading on her face. She watched them try and get grey matter and blood out of their hair extensions and knock-off couture dresses and the smile stayed on.

  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love an angry, vengeful, protective Brienne, don't you? ;)


	17. Chapter 17

’’He’s been in and out for a while now. The vials worked a charm, and he said, in between naps, that he feels okay, no pain. Doctor Lucien still wanted to run some tests, get him an x-ray, but said it would be wise to wait a while, he didn’t want to risk moving him.’’

Brienne heard the words coming out of Bronn’s mouth, knew what they meant and archived them in her mind but it was as if they were just white noise.

All she could see was Jaime’s pale form in a huge hospital issue bed. She was beyond grateful her inheritance and Jaime’s Committee money he’d refused to touch before made it possible for them to adequately equip every real estate they’d purchased in the six months they’d started their ’’escapade’’. She remembered how he thought it was rather poetic, Committee money funding its own demise.

That meant a safe room within each safe house and a fully stocked medicine cabinet to match the portable operating theater. Ever so glad for Jaime’s foresight, Brienne took a shaky breath, reaching out a trembling hand, running the backs of her fingers against Jaime’s cheeks.

’’He’s so cold...’’, she murmured to no one in particular as she felt her heart skip two, then three beats, as if struggling to cope with the demands of a day like theirs had been. Tears welled in her eyes as she formed her body to fit Jaime’s, mindful of his bandages. All of a sudden she was overwhelmed by the fatigue and fear she had only just allowed in her mind.

 

* * *

  


About an hour later, she could feel Jaime shift, the sedatives wearing off.

Brienne propped herself on her elbow, looking over the man she loved more than life itself.

’’Don’t exert yourself, let your body heal. ’’

She had no idea how her voice remained even, considering the somersaults her stomach was doing. She most definitely wasn’t done processing the near catastrophe when she felt Jaime nudge her shoulder with his forehead, nuzzling in, almost like a kitten.

’’Don’t think about it, Brienne.’’

She almost snorted in disbelief at the words.

’’You can safely assume that no matter what we are doing at any given time in the future, there will always be a part of my brain very actively thinking about it and replaying the entire scene.’’

Jaime’s brow furrowed and he closed his eyes.

’’Are you in pain? I’ll go and get you some more painkillers.’’

’’No! Stay...stay with me, please?’’

His voice was so tiny and vulnerable, and Brienne allowed herself the luxury of falling apart.  She repositioned herself next to Jaime, their faces scant inches apart. She placed soothing kisses on his forehead, his eyelids, his cheekbones. Jaime responded in kind and soon, the embrace deepened. Brienne’s fearful tears turned to joy as she saw Jaime’s color returning, how the warmth she’d always associated him with was back, his life force re-instated.

He slowly nudged his tongue against her lips and was granted entrance eagerly. But before they went too far - something Jaime’s body was most definitely not ready for - she managed to rein herself in.

A smile on her face, she pulled far enough away to gaze into his now almost black spheres.

’’Down, Major Lannister. None of that until you’re feeling a hundred per cent. And don’t look at me like that, I know you. And don’t think I don’t know you’re already plotting the next mission.’’

His eyes clouded over.

’’No I’m not. I’m plotting the end of this one. Lancazzi-’’

He fell silent at the murderous glare he could see in Brienne’s eyes and he immediately knew.

’’You...?’’

’’Yes.’’

’’But Brienne, they knew we were there, they could have-’’

’’But they didn’t. And I needed to send a message. Look, I’ve been thinking.’’

She clasped Jaime’s right hand in both of hers and twined their fingers.

’’The secret service world, in any country...it’s small. We are all inextricably linked. I don’t think we can continue like this without someone figuring out it was us...what I’m trying to say is...if we don’t want to get caught, we need to seriously consider going well and truly underground. And that means severing all ties with MI6. I know you already have, and that’s a plus in this situation, but I’m talking about the rest of us. When you’ve healed we need to talk to Pod, Bronn and Missy. See if they’re willing to follow or if maybe that would be a little too much for them. Either way, it would still be you and me...if you’ll have me?’’

’’Every way I can get you, Brienne, you know that.’’

Brienne nodded and placed one final chaste kiss on his lips before moving away towards the medicine cabinet.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

  


 

In the end, the big talk they had planned ended up being redundant, as Missy, Pod and Bronn were most definitely on board. Pod and Missy saw Brienne as the mother figure they so loved and admired and Bronn was almost like a brother to Jaime, especially after all they’d been through.

As they walked the gardens of Sker House, a timid summer starting to seep into the landscape, Brienne and Jaime took stock of their first months as proper renegades.

’’You got shot, Jaime!’’

’’Ah, yes, but we got the bad guy. Well...you got the bad guy. And the other three ops before Lancazzi went off without a hitch. Gotta put them all in the win column, wench.’’

Brienne thought back to their list so far.

E _va Wenn, 35 – a brilliant, albeit profoundly insane chemist with a background in crystal meth, one of Guy Self’s favourite suppliers. They set up camp in the building opposite hers, in Budapest – one clean shot was all it took, and Brienne had never felt prouder of how steady her aim was._

_Siobhan Morris, 43 - a wild child of the highest rank, a goon selected by Bolton personally to handpick his bodyguards and hitmen. A task she performed by raking through the crème de la crème of every major penitentiary system in the world. Done in by a broken bottle in an alley in Brooklyn. Jaime’s stealth mode made it impossible for her to know what was coming. Left in said alley, made to look like a mugging gone wrong._

_Danil Pavlov, 55. A Russian-Bulgarian warlord with a penchant for young boys and old scotch. They got him in Prague. The garrote, Jaime had said, sunk into his neck like it was butter and Brienne remembered how he had almost shuddered at the memory. On the plus side, Jaime had said offhandedly, no blood got on his clothes and Bronn had an easier time with the clean-up._

_And finally, Brienne thought back...Lancazzi. She could have happily resuscitated him multiple times if it meant she got to kill him over and over again. Letting go of the memory, she looped her arm through Jaime's and steered them back to the house._

’’You need to keep your strength up. As a bonus incentive: Missy said she was coming round tonight, to go over the Saunders op prep with you, if you’re up for it.’’

Jaime’s face lit up.

’’Finally, something to do! Much as I love you, sitting here alone while you go out and do recon and gather intel wasn’t exactly my idea of a honeymoon.’’

Jaime felt Brienne’s steps falter for half a second. Jaime was very much attuned to her moods and body language and he immediately knew something was wrong.

’’Brienne?’’

She simply shook her head slowly, her gaze now distant and slightly bewildered. After a while Jaime was beginning to worry.

’’Okay, wench, it has been a full two minutes, what is it?’’

’’I...Have you thought about it? Or was it just a figure of speech?’’

Jaime frowned, but soon a smile lit up his face.

’’Is it the word honeymoon that’s got you all frazzled, March hare-style?’’

Brienne frowned as Jaime’s smile widened.

’’This isn’t a grinning matter, Jaime. I’m being serious.’’

Jaime’s gaze softened and he put her arm around Brienne’s shoulders

’’So was I, after a fashion.’’

At Brienne’s perplexed expression Jaime felt himself let out a long sigh, his lungs tense and restrictive. He brushed the palm of his free hand against the fabric of his trousers.

’’Let’s just go have tea, you’re getting chilly. Then we can talk properly.’’

’’Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be taking care of you?’’

’’We take care of each other. Now, tea?’’

Brienne smiled and nodded. Tea or otherwise, she would follow her silly Lannister to the ends of the Earth. She even managed not to gag at her own sappiness and that was a feat in and of itself.

 

* * *

  


’’Decaf for you, Jaime, you know the meds you’re taking disagree with caffeine.’’

’’You know, it’s not the pain that’s the biggest downside of this whole getting shot thing. It’s being deprived of actual coffee and proper tea.’’

Brienne cuddled closer and sighed in sympathy. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Jaime stood and Brienne looked up at him, a question in her eyes.

’’Be back in a sec, stay right there.’’

Brienne nodded and took another sip of her scalding hot Earl Grey. But when even after a full ten minutes there was still no sight or sound of Jaime, she began to worry. The stairs were an issue even a full month after the incident and she feared that Jaime may have collapsed once he got to the top. Cursing herself for not insisting on going with him in the first place, Brienne was about to go find the stubborn soldier but stopped in her tracks as Jaime appeared in the doorway, slightly out of breath, his cheeks flushed.

Brienne’s heartbeat tripled.

’’What is it, are you okay? Let me check your pulse-’’

’’What? No, Brienne I’m fine.’’

’’Then what’s with the huffing and puffing? And just because I happen to think you are especially beautiful when you blush, right now, I’m not a fan of the state you’re in.’’

Jaime took both her hands and pulled them both towards the couch. Once they were settled, Brienne’s head finding its home, as always, in the crook of hisneck, Brienne heard him start to say something. And stop. And start again. And stop.

’’Jaime...whatever it is, just out with it. I think I can safely say, we’ve been through worse.’’

Jaime swallowed hard, his right hand going to his back trouser pocket. Brienne tried to see what it was but Jaime kept his hand behind his back, tilting his chin upwards, their gazes locking.

’’This may not exactly be the way I intended this to go...to be honest I didn’t actually have a plan, so this may actually be for the best. You know me and procrastination. I tend to go off on a tangent. Like that time I-’’

’’Like right now?’’

’’Um, ha, yes. I just...gods, how do other people do this?   I...’’

Brienne’s eyes guiding him through the jungle his own words had become, Jaime managed to tamp down the nerves long enough to form a coherent sentence or two.

’’Our line of work -  as you once so aptly put it - can take us away from each other in an instant. As proven by what we shall in the future only ever refer to as the Lancazzi mishap. And I don’t want the world that is left behind after one or both of us are gone to not know that you were mine. And that I am yours.            For all time.’’

Brienne felt like finally, the last bit of the puzzle that was her life had fallen into place. With Jaime’s left hand clasped in hers, Brienne felt warmth of her other half filling her up fully, mending both their muddled souls, brightening and clearing them. It was nothing short of rebirth.

’’I...’’

Jaime held up his hand to present her with a tiny burgundy colored jewelry box. And even though Brienne obviously assumed that this is where Jaime’s frazzled, beautiful speech was heading, she still couldn’t stop her eyes from tearing up at the sight of his hand, clutching the tiny object like a lifeline, his deep viridian eyes seeking approval.

’’Oh, Jaime.’’

’’Open it.’’

The ring was nothing short of a masterpiece. The center princess cut diamond was flanked by two smaller sapphires, on a band of diamond encrusted platinum. Her breath hitched in her throat as she stared at it.

’’Um...Brienne?’’

Brienne’s eyes snapped up towards Jaime’s voice.

’’An answer would be nice?’’ he murmured shyly, clearly petrified of rejection. Brienne decided to tease him just a little.

’’Well, you didn’t actually ask me anything,Lannister.’’

’’Do you actually need me to ask?’’

’’Do you actually need me to answer?’’

’’Wench!’’

Brienne smiled wider and decided to put him out of his misery.

’’Yes, Jaime. A thousand times, in a thousand lifetimes...yes.’’

  
  
  
  


 


	19. Chapter 19

 

Missy often listened to jazz on her iPod while running the daily stats on her computer; she said it helped her not think about the darker aspects of the job as much. Pod occupied the treadmill when he found the ops room at Sker House too oppressive and gloomy. Jaime saw Bronn roaming the vast gardens quite a few times. She hadn’t pressed him about it, but knew that it was his way of dealing with his tasks.

Jaime and Brienne, on the other hand, preferred not to isolate themselves. Instead, they remained steadfastly a unit, unwavering in their support for each other.

Jaime always knew when Brienne needed absolute silence and Brienne instinctively felt it when Jaime needed her to chat about insignificant things if the dark thoughts loomed ominous on the horizon.

Half a year in, it had been mutually decided that what all of them needed was a few days off. They each had their own coping mechanisms with the day to day tasks - oppressive in their necessity, but those could only take them so far in their daily quest for sanity and a bit of reprieve.

Brienne and Jaime kindly refused Missy’s offer of a spa weekend and booked themselves a few days at a bed and breakfast in the Cotswolds.

 

* * *

  


’’It’s beautiful.’’

The weather was on their side - a chilly, sunny morning, blossomed further into a crisp, clear English winter's day. Jaime watched with content as Brienne’s eyes sparkled as she took in the scenery and the snow-covered garden as they approached the doors of the bed-and-breakfast.

He was always amazed that Brienne was his. Soon, he would even have the immense good fortune to call her his wife.

So caught up in his own musings, he failed to realize Brienne had already walked further ahead and was being greeted by a woman that seemed to be the owner.

When he finally looked away from Brienne, Jaime stopped, almost as if thunderstruck, and Brienne turned around at the sound of his phone hitting the ground, having slipped from his grasp.

’’Jaime, what is it?’’

But he didn’t hear her. At that moment, he only had eyes and ears for the pixie-esque woman standing next to Brienne.

 

* * *

  


’’James?’’

Brienne’s breath hitched at the familiarity with which the woman uttered his name. As her first instinct was to comfort Jaime when he was upset, she stopped herself in time as she witnessed the pained expressions on the two people’s faces. Brienne’s gut churned in horror as several implications hit her. Refusing to give into jealousy and fear just yet, her feet remained rooted to the spot, and she was stuck watching the scene unfold, her heart going a mile a minute.

 

* * *

  


It was strange, thought Jaime, somewhere within his tortured state, how the sight of one person’s face could bring with it such contradictory emotions. That tiny, beautiful face, always a sight for sore eyes reminded him of bomb shells going off and Guy Fawkes night 1990. Bitter pain and the sweetness of rum raisins. Raging grief and bubbling joy. Righteousness and vile injustice rolled into one. Even that very moment was sheer pain and the purest happiness.

He felt his arms open to welcome the woman now rushing towards him.

She was always like a hummingbird, thought Jaime. Buzzing to and fro, relentless in her persistence. Tiny, whirlwind-y in nature and as open and devastating as a hurricane when she set her mind to something. He felt her grip tighten and tears soaking through the front of his T-shirt.

He took a deep breath, steadied his hands on the woman’s shoulders and pushed a little way away from his body to get a good look at her.

As vibrant as ever, thought Jaime. ‘’She’s alive’’. The words echoed through his mind and he almost refused to believe them. He cupped the woman’s hands in his own, trying to convince himself that the warmth beneath his fingertips was real.

 

* * *

  


Brienne watched. And fumed. And despaired. And realized she was being silly as she had no idea what on earth was going on. She decided to save the rage for later, if it was necessary. Though, that didn’t stop that miniscule hole in her soul from opening up, spewing out every single insecurity she ever had about her and Jaime’s relationship.

She always knew she wasn’t much to look at. Tall, gangly and awkward, the knowledge of her own faults was the literal soundtrack of her days, the children at school the mouthpiece. She had learned to shield herself and move on ever since that first insult hurled so recklessly at the innocent child she was had pierced her sensitivities. No good would ever come from crying. So, she didn’t. She fought back and worked hard and excelled and pretended none of the leers and stares had mattered much. But they had.

She loves her father dearly, but his ’’words are wind’’ remark stung her to the core. She needed him to encourage the anger she felt, make it palpable, make himself the one refuge she could turn to and talk about her sorrows with. Instead she was as alone as she had ever been and the solitude lasted all the way up until Jaime. Jaime who had seen beyond everything she physically was, who turned her around, to face that proverbial mirror and showed all her beauty, shone a new light onto her tall, lithe, strong form. Her celestial eyes and broad smile. He had saved her.

Finally, she stage-cleared her throat and the pair seemed to finally shock themselves out of the bubble they were in. Jaime looked between her and the woman in his arms, an odd look on his face, somewhere between awe and unspeakable gratitude. For who and for what Brienne couldn’t tell and was deadly afraid to ask.

But then, their host spoke.

’’Oh...gods...I’m so sorry...Ms Tarth...’’

Brienne watched the brunette wipe her eyes with the back of her hand and then run her palms over the material of her magenta pencil skirt. The crisp white shirt she was wearing was now wrinkled beyond salvation owing to the long, emotional embrace they shared. Brienne felt oddly gloaty. Petty was actually the word but she refused to reprimand herself.

’’I think the three of us should have some tea and talk, hm?’’

Brienne felt herself nod curtly and Jaime did the same. Brienne hoped that as she reached him he would take her hand, as was his habit - one he refused to break, even when they’d had an argument. Instead, Jaime just stared without seeing and followed the other woman inside, not once turning to see if Brienne was coming.

 

* * *

  


As she sipped on her tea, Brienne was losing all hope that someone would end the infernal silence that had descended on the three of them since the minute the tray was brought in. They were seated in what Brienne correctly assumed was the woman’s private sitting room, somewhat removed from the main area of the hotel proper. She looked around surreptitiously and realized her tastes and that of the mystery brunette were almost identical. Warm colors dominated, and the homey feel of the place was a pure balm for the soul.

Suddenly, the door opened and a little girl no more than four years old scampered inside, hurtling at great speed towards their host. She expertly managed to climb onto the woman’s lap and wind her tiny arms around her neck. Only then did she notice the guests and hid her face.

The woman smiled fondly and caressed the child’s hair.

’’Darling, we have visitors. Would you like to say hello?’’

The girl let her shy nature win over and shook her head no. The woman smiled.

’’I’m sorry, she’s not usually like this. Darling, come on, let’s get you to Nanny and she can get you a snack. Hm?’’

The little girl nodded and as she looked up her eyes found Brienne’s. Brienne was struck by the similarities between the child and their host. The girl was a thing of beauty as was her mother. The child’s face lit up in a smile and she hopped off her mother’s lap and onto Brienne’s in a heartbeat.

’’Oh, darling, no-’’

’’It’s quite alright, if it doesn’t bother you?’’

’’No, of course not, but...She does have this forward way about her and not everyone is as obliging as you.’’

’’I don’t mind at all. Now, what’s your name, little one?’’

The girl looked up and her hazel-colored eyes sparkled.

’’Adeline.’’

’’Well, Adeline, my name is Brienne. Say, would you like me to take you to have a little snack? Your mother and this gentleman over here have a lot to talk about, I should think?’’ Brienne said, directing her words toward the pair rather than the girl

’’Really, Ms Tarth, there’s no need, Nanny should be coming to get her any moment now.’’

’’I really don’t mind.’’ She looked up, making sure Jaime got the message. She really didn’t mind. She was upset, of course, and maybe the explanation that came afterwards would make her angry but she realized that she had no business being the third wheel in this reunion, whatever it may all be about.

’’Okay, then...I...thank you. Oh, I probably should have introduced myself before all this. Taena Merryweather.’’

She held out a perfectly manicured hand and Brienne took it. Somehow, even if she wanted to, she felt like she could hold no resentment for this woman who clearly held some part of Jaime’s former life in her grasp.

’’Jaime, I have the keys to our room. Once Adeline's had her snack and I settle her with the Nanny, I’ll head up there.’’

Jaime managed a tiny smile and a nod. Brienne tried not to let the lack of emotion in that smile get to her. She knew Jaime. Jaime would explain in his own time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, don't worry. It's just a bit of drama ;) Read on and see :)


	20. Chapter 20

 

  


Jaime remembers it as if it was yesterday. Father had left Cersei, Tyrion and him behind to go visit his closest friends whose daughter had just been born. Jaime had been seven at the time and had wanted, with the needy petulance of an infant and sense of entitlement of a grown-up to meet the new addition to their family. For Mr. and Mrs. Merryweather were indeed an extended part of the Lannister household.

Jaime’s own father was more than a bit lacking in the ’’know-how-to-properly-care-for-children’’ department, especially since his wife Joanna had died giving birth to Tyrion, thus often leaving his children alone for longer periods of time. They grew up surrounded by butlers, maids and general household staff for company.

Martha and Anthony Merryweather, however, were his parents’ polar opposites and often invited the Lannister children over to their home for the summer holidays which their own parents spent travelling around the world.

He would relish Christmases spent with them next to a warm fireplace. All their favourite treats spread in front of them as far as the eye can see and their every whim catered to. Anthony would teach him all about bugs – as a  child, bugs were his infinite obsession. Martha loved to sing them to sleep and it was through her that he grew to love the piano and the violin, drinking in his fill of Vivaldi and Beethoven every summer and every winter – at Casterly Manor his father liked to minimize the level of noise.

The Merryweather family lived next door . Goal in mind, he and three year old Tyrion set out towards their home, easily overlooked by the cackle of servants peppering the household. He’d dodged Cersei’s inquisitive gaze easily enough. He knew she’d try and talk him out of it.

As they reached the gates, Jaime swung them open tersely, an unfamiliar feeling boiling in his chest. Later on, he would easily categorize his actions as those borne of jealousy. Because as far as Jaime the eight-year-old knew, Martha and Anthony were his true parents. Biology may well be what it was, but love is not engendered or guaranteed. Jaime’s soul was heavy as he trudged up the stairs and straight onto the first floor of the house, knowing that that’s where the baby’s room had been set up. He knew that the grown-ups were in the garden, he could clearly hear their chatter even from that high up and he was satisfied by the noticeable lack of staff.

He peered through the semi-open door and spotted the crib. He walked right up to the bed next to it, helped Tyrion climb up and they both peered in, ready to hate the creature in it with all his might.

But, instead, they were met with a sight he’d never be able to forget. A tiny head of dark hair looked up at them with chocolate colored eyes the size of saucers. Jaime’s forehead crinkled in thought. Was he still feeling angry? He rummaged through his mind looking for all the rage and pent up screams but couldn’t find any. He felt like he couldn’t really bring himself to search further. He reached into the crib, not really knowing why and soon felt the minuscule tug on his index finger, as the baby had quite steadfastly attached her own tiny hand to it.

On that day, a spell had been cast and Taena , James and Tyrion had become inseparable.

 

* * *

  


Years along the line, they still spent his holidays with the Merryweather family, only now it was a true family affair, the children being doted on like no other children had ever been doted on before.

They grew out of play-clothes into school uniforms rather quickly, and soon, Jaime and Cersei were seventeen and prepping for Uni, Tyrion was thirteen and Taena was ten going on eleven, a little girl of such beauty it made Cersei’s blood boil. Unbeknownst to Jaime, Taena had been painfully aware of her own budding physical distinctions, as they had affected her in a way she was too scared to tell her would-be brothers about (Cersei was never considered as confidante, as Taena and even Tyrion realized from an early age what Jaime would only know after she had destroyed half his psyche.)

So, Taena kept quiet, smiled awkwardly at compliments coming from every adult and the snide remarks of jealous girls she went to school with, always clinging to Jaime and Tyrion for support. Support they would give out in spades.

There was nothing that could separate the three of them. Until life interfered.

 

* * *

  


’’James!’’

No one other than his father and Taena called him James and it brought on a fresh wave of mourning. He kept staring out the window, not acknowledging her.

The bed dipped beside him and he felt the familiar sensation of her arms wounding round him in a clumsy, warm embrace. Taena had rested her on his shoulder. Despite wanting to be left alone, Jaime felt immediately comforted.

’’I can’t believe he’s gone.’’

Those were the first words he’d uttered since finding out about his father’s car accident a week prior. Selfishly, he wished he didn’t care. By all counts, he shouldn’t care about the man who failed as a parent in every single aspect. He’d spent the better part of his life up to that point believing he didn’t care about Tywin. But it just hurt so much he had no choice but to completely shut down.

During the funeral they’d met a lot of their extended family, most of whom they knew only from Christmas and birthday cards. Their aunt was coming from America to take them to live with her, and Jaime decided cutting all ties with the Merryweather family was the best way to go about things, so it would hurt less later.

’’I came because Daddy wanted me to give you this.’’

She handed him an envelope, crisp and white, the hard edges almost razor-sharp, imprinting into the tender skin of Jaime’s palm.

’’What is it?’’

’’I don’t know. But he looked rather pleased with himself, so it must be good news.’’

Jaime frowned at some underlying sentiment those words carried, especially coming from an eleven year-old but had no strength in him to question Taena about it. Instead he tore the letter open and scanned the contents.

’’Oh gods...’’

’’What, what is it?’’

Jaime smiled tentatively, and for the first time since the news of his father’s passing.

’’We get to live with you. Your parents have officially adopted us. This is my aunt’s letter of agreement and the signed papers.’’

The look on Taena’s face was one he would remember for the rest of his life. The look of abject horror and rejection.

 

* * *

  


It had been two months since they’d officially become members of the Merryweather family, and neither he nor Tyrion had seen much more of Taena more than it was strictly necessary. She seemed to run at the first sight of them, giving them the cold shoulder almost every time they were in the same room.

’’I’m sorry, my darlings, she’ll come round. She just isn’t used to being a sibling. Girls especially, who are only children and then find themselves with a brother or sister usually tend to act out. Soon you’ll be right as rain.’’

Martha sounded all too convinced this was just a phase her daughter would grow out of, but Jaime was far from sure of it. In fact, he believed this to be something else entirely, and not a simple case of sibling rivalry.

 

* * *

  


’’Why won’t you talk to us? Are you angry with me?’’

’’No, James. Now, if you would kindly leave, I have a piano recital in a week and I need to practice.’’

’’We used to practice together, you know.’’

’’Things change, Lannister.’’

In that second he witnessed a mask of utter indifference fall squarely on Taena’s face. The voice in which she spoke sounded eons older than her eleven short years.

’’And don’t forget for a second that you are just that - a Lannister, not a Merryweather. Lately, you and Tyrion both seem to have been slipping. Kudos to Cersei for being the smartest of the bunch. With your closeness to your twin, one would think you would be smarter than Tyrion.’’

The words hit Jaime like a stone and his stomach dropped. This wasn’t the Taena they knew. Even with the thinly veiled implications that she knew of him and Cersei, he soldiered on, unable to leave things on bad terms with the girl.

’’You don’t mean that.’’

Calmly, and without even a flutter of her long eyelashes, Taena turned and made the first eye contact in two months. She smiled a plastic smile, ill-fitting on her porcelain-perfect face.

’’Oh, I can assure you I do. Now please leave.’’

Dazed and hurt, Jaime backed away, heading for the door. As he was about to shut it behind him, he briefly caught glimpse of something which made his blood run cold. He quietly walked back into the room.

Finally the long sleeves during the summer made sense. As Taena was prepping for her piano rehearsal, she’d allowed herself the freedom of rolling them up. The sight of that assortment of colorful bruises blared like a foghorn in Jaime’s mind.

’’Care to explain this, Taena?’’

He gently lifted one of the arms in question. He could feel her freeze and slowly tug away the limb in question.

’’Who was it? If it was that Greyjoy boy, I’ll make him pay, you just bloody well see if I don’t.’’

’’Let it go, James. Please?’’

’’Taena, someone has been hurting you! Are there other bruises?’’

Taena simply looked away and pulled her arms around her torso.

’’If you don’t tell me, I’ll go to your father, and have him deal with it.’’

The force with which Taena turned and snapped her head up made Jaime think of very painful whiplash. But then, right there, in that one movement and in the unadulterated fear in her teary eyes, he knew the truth.

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

  


''I never thought I'd see you again, James. I'm sorry I haven't tried to contact you, I...I believed – still believe really – that you'd be better off without me in your life. Havoc seems to be the only thing I bring with me.''

''Taena, look at me, please. Have I ever, in my entire life, shown you that I would ever do anything else than what was best for you? If so, tell me when, because all these years, I've been racking my brain for an answer to the question as to how I could have changed your decision to disappear the way you did.''.

''I was born into luck, you know? You and Tyrion were always there to take care of me, even and especially when I had no idea to do with myself so I tried to push you both away as hard as I could. You were the brothers I never had. My confidants and saviors. And I felt, after...everything that happened...I was done ruining your life. So I left. I had to leave so you'd never again be pulled back by my bad decisions and have those decisions drag you into the same pit of despair I'd always struggled getting out of. I know you want to remember me as this spritely little thing, permagrin plastered on her face, but – and you know this as well – there is so much more to me than that. It was dark in here, James.''

As she placed a palm on chest Jaime felt his own tighten beyond repair.

’’Taena...we were warriors, the three of us. Been through so much together. Don't  you know you've saved us just as many times as you say we helped you? ''

Taena let out a tiny sob, shutting her eyes, her grip on Jaime's hands on the verge of painful.

''Come here.''

 

* * *

 

 ** _Flashback_ **  
  

''Jesus, Taena...how...how long has he...he hasn't tried to-''

She couldn't even bring herself to end the question, but luckily, Taena shook her head slowly.

''I think he wants to, though. ''

''What?''

''That's why he hits me. Because he want to stop himself from...doing something else. I see him looking at me when he thinks I can't see.''

Jaime for once wished Taena was a little less observant. No such luck, as she had always been the brains of both their families.

''How long?''

Taena looked down at the floor.

''Taena? Tell me.''

''It doesn't happen that often. Only when he's had a particularly stressful day at the office. ''

''When did it start?''

''My tenth birthday. I spilled some tea on my new dress and he lost it. At least, that's what I thought was the reason. I was more cautious after that and I soon realized...none of it was actually my fault.''

''Bloody hells...''

Jaime was overwhelmed, had no idea what to do.

''Please don't tell him anything. You'll just make it worse. Soon, you and Cersei be going off to Uni anyway, and it won't matter.''

Jaime's eyes locked with Taena's.

'Uni? You think I'm going and leaving you behind with that monster? No...no.''

Calmly and without hesitation, Taena replied.

''You most certainly are. Soon I will be out of here too and joining you and we will be safe. But I will not put my mother through any kind of scandal, or put you in any danger. Because all it would do would put a mark on your back. He is your legal guardian until you turn eighteen, and we will keep up appearances until then. ''

''Oh, really? And what happens if he...if he-''

''He won't. I'll make sure of it.''

''He could end up killing you.''

The fear in Taena's eyes was so vivid Jaime had to envelop her in a hug. But, even like that, shaking like a leaf, Taena was adamant.

''He won't, James. Don't  worry, please.''

 

* * *

  


''You told me not to worry that day. ''

''I honestly thought I could handle it on my own. And instead...You handled it. The fact it all went downhill was on me.''

As Jaime was about to reply, they were interrupted by a red-haired woman entering the sitting room.

''Taena, I'm a little early but I-''

She stopped in her tracks as she saw Jaime.

''Oh, I...I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were entertaining, else I'd never have burst in like this.''

Jaime watched as Taena shot like a bullet towards the woman, stopping her from leaving.

''Marge, hello! Of course, I hadn't forgotten you were on your way, it's just that I was chatting with James here, he and I go way back.''

As Taena continued to explain his presence, Jaime observed the way her cheeks were flushed and how the pitch of her voice had gone up ever so slightly, just like it used to do back when they were children and she would try and make small talk with Oberyn Martell whom she had the biggest crush on. Nor did he miss the way the red-haired woman’s eyes darted from him to Taena's face nervously, her hands clasped together in an act typical of a bad case of nerves.

''Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so silly. Margaery, this is James. James, this is Margaery ...Marge. She is my best friend. She's a doctor, she was here with me when I gave birth to Adeline.''

The look of pure adoration in Taena's eyes as she stared at the woman was almost too painful to watch, especially as the good doctor seemed completely oblivious to it, blind to see it through her own veil of worship for Taena.

''Oh, a doctor. What kind?''

'' GP, with a few rotations in Obstetrics under my belt. I'm here today to check up on Adeline. ''

''Yes, the poor darling was feeling a bit under the weather. She should be with Nanny now.''

''I'll check her over and let you know how I find her. I'll be quick about it.''

''Marge, you don't have to rush, I-''

''I know. I just...it's best that way. James, it was a pleasure. If you'll excuse me.''

As the door closed after the woman, Jaime turned to Taena, a question on his face Taena refused to acknowledge, reminding him instead of Brienne.

''We have plenty of time to talk later. Now, I think you should see to Ms. Tarth. I do believe the impressions she was left with wasn't of us as siblings but rather something else altogether.''

Jaime nodded.

''I know. But I also know her, she would never accuse me of anything until she knew for sure what was going on. When she said she was going to be waiting for me in our room, she meant she would be waiting for an explanation. So, I'll be heading over there now. But, Taena...we still have a lot to talk about, okay?''

''Crystal clear. And James? I'm so very glad to see you.''

'Me too, Taena. You have no idea.''

On that note, he turned and left to find Brienne.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

Brienne's nervous pacing back and forth across the length of their room was a constant reminder to her that she was getting more agitated by the minute. As she heard the sound of footsteps and Jaime entering, her eyes welled without warning.

''Jaime?''

Jaime took one look at the state Brienne was in and ate up the short distance between them in two quick strides, hugging her tightly.

''Oh, love, I know....it isn't what you think, I promise...I promise...shh...breathe now. Breathe.''

Brienne's heart had gone erratic, her whole body shaking with fear and now relief. She knew for a fact Jaime would never lie to her and had only been waiting for her to come back and reassure her. Now that he had, her body was retroactively reacting to all the emotional turmoil.

Jaime let his hands slide soothingly across the expanse of Brienne's back, nudging them both slowly towards the four poster bed.

''Come on,wench, let's lie down for a while.''

''I'm...I'm sorry, I just...''

For some reason Brienne found herself unable to form a coherent sentence.

''It's okay, darling, close your eyes, let's rest.''

Brienne nodded and let her fears push her further into Jaime's chest, his warm, comforting arms lulling her to sleep within seconds.

 

* * *

  


Jaime felt the slide of Brienne's palm across his stubbled cheek and smiled.

''Hello, sleepyhead. Looks like we were both really tired, we've been asleep for nearly two and a half hours.''

Jaime's eyes widened in disbelief.

''Wow...''

''Indeed. And… before we get up, I have to apologize for my...outburst.''

Jaime smiled fondly and pulled her in for a kiss.

''No need. It was a misunderstanding. I should be sorry for not reassuring you immediately...I guess I was just shocked into numbness for a while there.''

''I just want to tell you that I never actually believed you would-...it's just that even imagining the possibility paralyzed me.''

''I know...and I'm so sorry you had to go through it....''

Brienne waved his worries away and smiled comfortingly.

''But now, Major, the more important issue - do you want to talk about what really happened?''

Jaime looked up, awe and relief in his gaze.

''Like you wouldn't believe.''

Brienne nodded.

''Tell me.''

 

* * *

  


''It was her father?''

''Yes. And I was so angry with myself for not seeing it sooner.''

Brienne held him closer at the sound of immense guilt in his voice.

''You couldn't have known. As far as I can see, she did her best to hide the bruises and just wanted to alienate you in order to save you. Of course you'd be blind to what was really going on if you were an emotional mess of your own at the fact that she was completely shutting you out. It's not your fault, Jaime.''

''Thank you. But I still feel like if only she'd told me sooner the outcome would have been completely different.''

Brienne was afraid to ask, but heard in Jaime's countenance she would have to nudge him for the rest of the story.

''What was the outcome?''

Jaime pulled away slightly, needing space.

''I was at Uni with Cersei, it had been two months since we started, Tyrion shipped off to boarding school in Switzerland. I was so relieved at that; I couldn’t bear the thought of him anywhere near Anthony without me around. I spent my days between classes and worrying about Taena and Martha. I had no idea what he could do to them. But, she insisted I leave and so, like an idiot, I did. ''

Brienne felt the need to hug him but realized that was the last thing Jaime wanted in that moment. His mind was back in time. Where he was then, despite Cersei and Tyrion’s presence, he was alone and helpless and so very, very young. Regressing into such a state must have felt awful, but Brienne knew she had to let him be if she was to come through to the other side unscathed.

''One Friday evening, I came back for the weekend and...the entire house was pitch black. My heart was in my throat. Normally, there'd be servants milling about and Martha was usually hosting her bridge night on Fridays.''

 

* * *

 

**_Flashback_ **

Jaime could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. The house was empty and he couldn't for the life of him think of a reason why. They knew he was coming, he'd spoken to  Martha that morning.

Eventually, he ended up in the main kitchen area. For some reason it had not been plunged into darkness like the rest of the house, but instead the mellow lamps were on, the remnants of a meal on the big oak table. Then he heard sounds coming from the wine cellar.

Heart beating furiously, he rushed down, fearing what he might find inside. The sight he encountered at the bottom of the stairs was one he would carry with him always.

Taena sat, her back to the wall, in a pool of rapidly spreading crimson liquid clutching a broken bottle like a lifeline, her wide eyes landing on Jaime as soon as he entered.

''James...help me.''

But Jaime could only stare at the lifeless body of Anthony Merryweather, the vivid slash of red on his throat taunting him.

 

* * *

  


Brienne tried not to react, her gut clenching in sympathy, her eyes threatening to tear up again.

''He had let all the servants have the night off and Martha had visited a friend instead of hosting the bridge game. Taena was having supper in the kitchen when he came in and asked her to bring him a Merlot from the wine cellar. And then he followed her in.''

Brienne now realized she had no strength left to let Jaime sit hugging himself so she scooted closer and let him settle in her arms.

''He finally broke and wanted to do what I feared most of all...and she reacted. She took the bottle, smashed it against the brick wall and threatened him with the shards. When he just laughed at her and lunged for the glass, she just...reacted, Brienne. She stabbed him and staggered back...''

''He'd have bled out within seconds of a wound like that.''

''Yes...and I...''

Brienne nodded knowingly.

''You helped her.''

''Yes. I told her to go have a bath, instructing her to give me her clothes when she was done, so I could burn them. While she was bathing, I went to the cleaning supplies cupboard and used the industrial strength bleach to clean up the blood. I took an old motorcycle tarp we had lying around in the shed to wrap the body in and placed him in the boot of my car. I was actually surprised at my own strength. I guess the fear and the adrenaline rush it caused had helped.''

He fell silent as the words left his lips at an alarming rate, feeling like an enormous burden had been lifted off his shoulders at having shared the secret with Brienne.

''What did you do later?''

I drove him to an empty lot I knew of from back when Tyrion and I used to go hang out there with some of my school mates. I thanked the heavens it had been raining heavily so the ground was soft. I...I buried him as deep as I could. And then I went back to the house so we could set our stories straight. Later on, he'd been declared missing and far as I know, his putrid body is still where I buried it.''

Brienne nudged his chin up so they could lock eyes.

''Have I ever told you you're a knight in shining armor?''

''Brienne, I am anything but.''

''You're _my_ knight. And you are Taena's as well. The one who knew her and helped when no one else would. You are simply lacking a the actual armor.''

Jaime barked out a laugh despite his mood and settled deeper in Brienne's embrace.

''Lot of good it did her. I persuaded Martha to let Cersei and me to take her, to have her stay with us – Cersei was none too happy, but I couldn’t care less. That was probably the first time I stood up to her about anything. I told Martha it would be best for her to be away from the place that reminded her so much of her father. Didn't take much convincing, the woman was a mess. But when we left, and settled in our new flat, and she'd started going to a new school, at thirteen years old already she got in with a bad crowd. It started with a few fags and a beer, and ended with a drug dealer boyfriend. She couldn't cope, Brienne. At nights I could hear her sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe. And she wouldn't let me help. Three years of that hell, and then she fell pregnant. Four months along, I found her in a pool of blood, again. This time it was her own. She'd lost the baby, two days after she'd decided to get clean and keep it. The day after she was discharged from the hospital, she was gone. And I haven't seen her since.''

''Oh, Jaime… I can't even imagine how you must have felt.''

''Like I'd lost my best friend, sister and child in one fell swoop. I spent years looking for her, Brienne. There wasn't a single day I didn't think of her. But at one point I just had to admit she just didn't want to be found. I had to hope that was the reason, and that she wasn't lying dead in a ditch somewhere.''

Jaime's voice was steady, but the tears still ran their course across his cheeks, landing on Brienne's shirt. She lightly stroked through Jaime's golden curls, soothing and chasing away the fretting.

''Now you know, love. She's alive and well. And you have a lifetime ahead to reconnect.''

Instead of replying, Jaime tightened his arms around Brienne's waist and Brienne felt him nod.

''Shall we shower and get dressed for supper?''

He smiled at the wonderful voice he would never get tired of.

''Yes, let's.''

  
  


 

 


	23. Chapter 23

Brienne had picked the bed-and-breakfast based on the few photos she found on the website and now she realized they didn’t quite do it justice. In true Cotswolds style the building itself was quaint and inviting and the attached gardens and the fruit orchard which sprawled in the back of the estate were magnificent to behold, especially when blanketed in snow.

The indoor area was diverse. There was a common dining space draped in rich, heavy brocades, a swimming pool and sauna, a library and a playground/daycare center for the little ones.

It was in the dining area that she found Jaime, seated at the nearest available table, deep in conversation with Taena. Just as she was about to leave and give them just that bit more privacy before she entered their sibling bubble, Taena spotted her and her eyes lit up as she waved her over.

Brienne smiled, unable to resist the radiant grin Taena was sporting.

‘‘Brienne, we’ve been waiting for you!’’

‘‘Have you? I just thought you’d have a lot to talk about right now, and I didn’t want to intrude.’’

‘‘Nonsense. Jaime, tell her that now that we’ve found each other again, she is my sister as well.’’

Jaime smiled and nodded.

‘‘There’s no escaping this one, Brienne, so you better get used to it.’’

‘‘Indeed. Now, I must tend to some of my errands, you two should enjoy your meal.  Adeline is getting ready for bed now, but tomorrow, I’d like you to meet her properly.’’

They were interrupted by one of the serving girls.

‘‘Miss Merryweather, Mr. Hersh is home. He told me to come and fetch you. He’s in your study.’’

Brienne could see Taena flinch, but cover it quickly with another one of her smiles, this one a bit plastic and laminated around the edges. Her danger radar beeped.

‘‘Of course, Lilly, tell him I’ll be right there.’’

She turned back to Jaime and Brienne, an apologetic look in her eyes.

‘‘Daniel, my husband. You’ll get to meet him, tomorrow as well, I should think. Duty calls I’m afraid. I shall see you in the morning then?’’

‘‘Of course.’’, Jaime said,

‘‘Thank you Taena.’’

One last smile and fond look at Jaime and Taena was off.

 

* * *

  


‘‘Jaime…’’, Brienne sighed knowingly.

‘‘I know.’’

‘‘Should we…do some re-con?’’

‘‘Not just yet. Let’s meet the little bugger before coming to a full, informed conclusion.’’

The words may have been innocent but the look of raw anger in Jaime’s eyes wasn’t. It said: ’’I’m damned if I’m going to let another abusive prick torture her’’.

Brienne couldn’t agree more.

 

* * *

  


Next morning at breakfast, they were seated at the same table and as Jaime was about to help himself to a plate of waffles and fruit, he heard Brienne call Adeline’s name. The girl’s reply was characteristic to any child of Taena’s.

‘‘Brienne!’’

The little girl let go of her Nanny’s hand and ran to Brienne. Much like the day before, she expertly climbed onto her lap, her tiny arms going round Brienne’s neck.

Brienne smiled into the child’s hair and turned them so they were both facing Jaime.

‘‘Hello little one.’’, said Jaime, still in awe of the child’s existence. Adeline turned, her wide eyes now even bigger as she observed this new person in her life.

‘‘Hello. Mummy said you are my Uncle. Are you really?’’

Jaime’s eyes welled up at the words and he nodded slowly.

‘‘Yes, I am.’’

Now even more intrigued, Adeline scrambled down from Brienne’s lap and onto Jaime’s.

‘‘My, my, you are your mother’s carbon copy, aren’t you?’’, said Jaime, more to Brienne than the child.

‘‘And when will Mummy be joining us, darling?’’, said Brienne.

At the words, Cybill, the Nanny, spoke up.

‘‘She asked me to tell you she’s terribly sorry, but she is having another one of her migraine bouts and won’t be able to join you. She always has them this time of year, she says it has to do with the brightness of the snow. She said I was to bring Adeline and if you were amenable, leave her with you for the duration of the morning?''

Brienne let Jaime process the words and answered Cybill’s question.

‘‘Of course, we would love to take her for the morning.’’

‘‘Very well, Miss. I’ll be in the kitchens should you need me.’’

‘‘Thank you, Cybill.’’

‘‘Have a good day, Miss.’’

 

* * *

  


Adeline between them, holding their hands, they trudged the deep snow, about a quarter of a mile into the garden. They swung her back and forth, the child giggling with pure glee every time the momentum picked up.

Later on, they let her go on ahead and she started gathering a bunch of snow to form the base for a snow man.

‘‘Brienne, Uncle James, come help!’’

‘‘We’ll be right there, darling!’’

Jaime continued in a quieter voice.

‘‘Migraine my ass.’’

‘‘My thoughts exactly.’’, Brienne agreed.

‘‘Perhaps we should pay her a visit.’’

‘‘What if the he’s there?’’

‘‘Cybill told me as we were leaving that he left for the day, doesn’t know when he’ll be back.’’

‘‘Good. Somehow, even without knowing what in the world is truly going on, I just rather have him far away.’’

‘‘Yes, but…we do know what’s going on, don’t we? I mean, it’s text book abuse. I just have to determine to what degree, and then I’ll deal with him.’’

‘‘Jaime…’’ Brienne began, but Jaime stopped her with one hand in the air.

‘‘I know that tone, Brienne. I know. No hasty conclusions until all is confirmed.’’

‘‘Good. Now, I believe we have a snowman to build.’’

 

* * *

  


On their way back, they were closer to the staff entrance and decided to take a shortcut so they would deliver a fairly freezing but excited Adeline back to her Nanny quicker. But just as they were about to bee-line it for the door, Jaime caught sight of the red-haired woman he’d been introduced to the day before.

’’Margaery! Hello. ’’

The woman turned, a minuscule, but still noticeable ’’deer in headlights’’ look on her face. The sigh of relief upon seeing it was just the two of them and Adeline wasn’t missed by either Brienne or Jaime.

’’Why the doctor’s bag? Adeline’s feeling a hundred per cent.’’

’’Oh, I...I was just...’’

Jaime leaned to one side so Brienne could take Adeline from his arms, but instead the child wriggled and slid onto the ground, running off to Margaery.

’’Margy!! Can we play now? Yesterday you promised!! And you said you would read to me! I have sooooo many new books, Mummy got them for me! Come on, you promised, pleeease?’’

As Adeline clung to her skirts, Jaime saw an expression on Margaery ’s face that he would never be able to forget. Pain and immense love all rolled into one.

Margaery slid down to Adeline’s eye level, smiling a bright smile Jaime was sure was reserved especially for her and brushed away some of the melting  snow from her dark curls.

’’I know, I miss you too, Adie, love, but right now...’’she looked up at Jaime, an indecipherable, imploring look on her face. ’’Right now I have to go see Mummy.’’

’’Is Mummy sick?’’

Margaery looked up at Jaime again, her eyes almost screaming for help, saying things her lips wouldn’t dare utter.

’’Yes, darling, she is. But I’m going to make her all better, I promise.’’

’’Brienne, could you take Adeline to Cybill, please?’’

Brienne’s eyes darted back and forth between them and nodded, Adeline already hearing the words and stretching her arms towards her.

Soon as the child was out of earshot, Jaime turned towards Margaery, a million questions in his eyes.

’’What is going on?’’

The woman’s eyes shut under what Jaime now realized was a ton of emotional burden and sagged against the wall. Jaime continued.

’’This morning she couldn’t come down to breakfast because she said she had a migraine. But it’s not true, is it?’’

Margaery sighed, now seemingly giving up the pretense completely. She looked up at Jaime, two large tears making their way across her cheeks.

’’No...it isn’t.’’

’’I think we should go talk to her now, don’t you?’’

 


	24. Chapter 24

 

Taena frowned at her reflection in the fogged up bathroom mirror. There was definitely something about her that was off today. Well, apart from the usual ''husband'' and wife ''issues''. She sighed and bit down hard on her lip as she unwound the bath towel and tried to staunch the renewed blood flow coming from the cut on her rib cage.

As she heard the door to her bedroom open and close she shut her eyes against the pain and took a deep breath before calling out to Margaery .

’’I’ll be right there.’’

As no reply was forthcoming, she assumed Margaery had settled down on the settee to wait and prep the gauze as was their gruesome custom.

She exited the bathroom in a slightly better state than she’d entered it and immediately went to undo the sash on her robe, eager to get to the salve she knew Margaery  always brought with her.

’’Taena?’’

She startled at the voice and pulled the fabric securely around her body.

’’James, what are you doing here?’’

She’d done it again, the very thing she was trying to avoid, she’d hurt him again. It was bad enough Margaery  was submitted to this hell, but now James as well?

’’I-...I thought I told Cybill to let you and Brienne know I won’t be able to see you today?’’

’’Taena, you need to sit down.’’

She felt faint, but still refused to listen to the soft, warm lilt of Margaery ’s voice, which was a first for her.

It wasn’t until she felt the woman’s soothing touch settle around her waist and she was being guided into a sitting position that she looked down at the now rather painful source of discomfort. She had bled through her robe.

In a haze, she looked at Margaery  and noticed the tear marks on her face. Slowly, she lifted a hand to wipe them away but could only go so far when her own blood pressure forced her to drop it and shut her eyes to re-focus her vision.

’’Come on, Taena, look at me, please?’’

She did, and was vaguely aware of James observing the scene with all too knowing eyes.

’’The bleed is aggravated now that you’ve had a shower, I told you not to take showers right... after.’’

’’I’m sorry, I just...couldn’t not. I felt sick to my stomach.’’

Uneven breaths told her she was beginning to hyperventilate. Margaery ’s palms settled on either side of her face, she focused. And when Margaery ’s left hand meandered down to press down soothingly against her diaphragm - the doctor herself synchronizing their breaths - she was able to calm down.

 

* * *

  


It was worse this time. Margaery had a feeling he had finally broken her and couldn’t forgive herself for not doing something sooner. But as these things often go, she’d caved and listened to Taena’s reasoning, if one could call it that.

And now, another scar to add to her collection. Another measure of blood Margaery would carry on her hands for life.

Her stomach protested the thoughts and it was all she could do not to lose her breakfast right then and there.

She snuck a look at Jaime and sighed at the pain she saw in the man’s eyes. Pain and... oh, such powerful anger. If there was ever anyone who could get Taena to see sense it would be the two of them combined.

 

* * *

 

‘’I have lots of ponies and unicorns, Mummy knows I love them so she buys them for me!’’

As Brienne settled the girl on her bed to get the snowy boots and jacket off her, she listened to her chatter, amused and grinning. As Adeline leapt off her bed in search of a particular plushy she wanted to show her, Brienne wandered the room, looking at the family pictures on display. She picked up one with baby Adeline and Taena. Even as a baby, Adeline was the spitting image of her mother. Brienne marveled at the powerful genetics and as she went to place the picture back on the dresser, Adeline ran into her making her lose grasp of it and it fell to the floor, the frame and the glass shattering.

‘’Adeline, darling let me clean this up, we can’t have you stepping on any of the glass. Sit on the bed, can you do that for me?’’

Adeline nodded, clutching her toy closer.

As she bent over to pick up the photo and set it aside she realized it was a folded image of Taena, Adeline and another man. Probably the father, she mused. And as she looked at the man further, her stomach contorted with dread, mouth suddenly unbelievably dry.

* * *

  


Jaime watched until he couldn’t anymore and turned his stare out the window while Margaery  dressed Taena’s wound.

’’James. It’s going to be okay...’’, started Taena, her voice tiny and insecure.

’’You know, I trusted you the last time you said it. It was not okay then, and it most certainly isn’t okay now.’’

Blood boiling, hands shaking, Jaime was on the verge of howling and felt a surreal need to hear Brienne’s voice.

’’It’s going to be okay, because this time I have a plan.’’

’’I don’t care. You’re coming with me. You and Adeline.’’

’’James, listen to me-’’

’’No. Not this time, Taena! The last bastard you allowed to do this to you nearly raped you or worse! How on Earth do you think I’m going to let this one get away with it?’’

Tensions high, neither felt like they could back down. It wasn’t until Margaery spoke that they even realized she was in the room with them.

’’Taena, I think maybe you should listen to him.’’

Jaime looked at Margaery with gratitude in his eyes and then back at Taena. His phone rang in his pocket just as Taena was to fight her end of the ring once again. When he answered it, the almost imperceptible, but to Jaime highly recognizable shake in Brienne’s voice told him something extremely bad had happened

’’Brienne?’’

’’I have Adeline, Jaime.’’

’’I thought you were going to leave her with the nanny?’’

’’I was but she wanted to show me her toys. So she took me to her nursery. ’’

’’Brienne, I-’’

Brienne ploughed on regardless.

’’Oh, believe, me, I know – you’re in the middle of something. And this is me, joining you. Pack Taena up, we need to leave, as soon as possible. You’re in her room, now aren’t you? I’m coming up.’’

‘’Okay.’’

Knowing Brienne as the cool, level-headed woman she had to be in order to run Cerulean, he was petrified at the amount of fear he heard in her voice.

He waited for the knock on the door signifying her and the girl had arrived.

* * *

 

The door swung open to reveal Brienne with Adeline on her hip, fully dressed again, ready to move. She handed Margaery the child and looked to Jaime.

‘’We need to talk.’’

He nodded and led them to the little alcove some feet away from the bedroom. Brienne tried to calm her erratic heartbeat enough to speak up. He watched her unfold a piece of paper from her pocket.

‘’I know the father. I know the father very well. He was one of my arrests. Apparently, not one among the thirty percent that actually got what they deserved. It would seem he is still very much out and about.’’

He frowned, and looked down at the picture in his hands. The face of the man who had tortured so many to within an inch of their lives and killed numerous other innocents almost knocked him out cold. He'd been introduced to the wonders of Kalynorphine by the very same man.

He ground out the name with difficulty.

‘’Ramsey Snow.’’

Snow was Roose Bolton’s bastard son and a major figure in the Committee. Brienne had drunk herself into a comma celebrating, the night she’d captured him. Now, she realized she may have destroyed her liver for nothing. She could punch a wall.

’’Taena...You know who he is, don’t you? You know _what_ he is?’’, Brienne asked.

Casting her eyes to the carpet, Taena nodded. Margaery quickly went over to her side, and Jaime could only be glad for the amount of support Taena seemed to be getting from her best friend. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jaime wondered whether the women knew just how much their feelings were obvious to everyone but them.

’’I went through the safe in his study about six months ago. He’s so rarely here I could take my time finding out the combination.’’

’’In the end I helped her. I used to be a whiz with mechanics, a safe lock was hardly going to deter me.’’, said Margaery

Now, finally, when some of their secret was out, Margaery seemed to straighten slightly, her eyes burning with barely concealed hatred for the man who was ruining Taena’s life.

’’How pathetic is it that he kept a neat little record of his transgressions?’’ said Margaery.

Brienne smirked darkly and agreed.

’’Ego needs pampering, I suppose.’’

Taena spoke up.

’’ I decided I need to make him stop. Not just for me but for all the others he’d hurt and would hurt in the future.’’

’’Thinking it would be easier, and quicker, I agreed.’’, Margaery  said, her jaw clenching at all the bad memories flashing in her mind.

’’We couldn’t have known how difficult it would be, Marge .’’

’’What did you plan on doing?’’

The doctor replied:

’’Well, if he ever stayed long enough, arsenic. That flew out the window as we realized he only ever came for one thing and one thing only, always unannounced.’’

She looked at Taena from the corner of her eye, Taena almost immediately melding their bodies together in a tight embrace. Cheeks pressed together, she spoke in a murmur.

’’I’m sorry...I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Margaery .’’

Jaime approached them slowly, not wanting to be rude and interrupt them brusquely. He put a soothing hand on Taena’s shoulder.

’’So what was your follow-up plan?’’

Margaery looked up, the anger on her serious face something Jaime was immensely grateful for.

’’I only just thought of it last week, the fact I have his doctor’s records. But he never stays long enough. I was going to be prepared next time, though.’’

’’What were you going to do?’’

’’He has a history of heart disease.’’

She turned away from Taena and went to search through her medical bag, pulling out a minuscule vial.

’’One tiny, well timed dose, preferably right after coitus where his heart was already compromised. Foxglove.’’

Brienne nodded and her eyes flashed appreciatively. As plans went, that wasn’t half bad. Too bad they would have to abandon said plan now.

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

 ‘‘Brienne, calm down, I can hear you thinking.’’

‘‘Sorry.’’

Jaime felt her shuffle closer and wrapped his arm more securely round her waist.

‘‘It’ll be fine. It’s not our first rodeo.’’

‘‘But it is the most important one. The thing is...’’

‘‘There’s something big on your mind isn’t there?’’

Brienne smiled at the words, fondness for the way Jaime knew her inside and out seeping through the seriousness of the situation.

‘‘Indeed. Not necessarily bad, though, if we can make it work for us.’’

Jaime shifted under the sheets and turned sideways, propped up on his elbow. Brienne continued.

‘‘He’s only just gone which means he won’t be back that soon. Which also means we have time to think how we want to handle this. We could...’’

Jaime felt that Brienne was hesitant not because she was scared but because she thought that Jaime would hate or be angry about whatever it was she was going to suggest.

‘‘Talk to me, Tarth. We don’t have all night...well, we do, but I had kind of hoped talking wouldn’t be a huge part of it, apart from the rather vocal screams of delight, that is.’’

Wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, Jaime received a weak shove to his shoulder for his troubles, Brienne trying desperately to stifle a giggle and failing gloriously.

‘‘This isn’t funny, Jaime, as you well know. We have to make a decision. What I was going to suggest before I was  so rudely interrupted is...I think Snow is a bargaining chip.’’

‘‘Go on.’’

‘‘Well, he is a big piece of this internationally corrupt puzzle, and he is clearly still going about his rotten business, no matter the witness protection. I highly doubt the people who gave him said protection would think he was still worth the information if they knew just to _what extent_ he is still operating in his old merry ways. Given the influence he has over the entire Committee – he is more trouble than he is worth. BUT I also think that there would be no way they could get rid of him without causing a few ripples. So, who better to deal with him but a rogue vigilante group?’’

‘‘And that would be...us?’’

‘‘Got it in one. Think about it. MI6 could blame it all on this unknown entity, but could also hold off on finding us because it is honestly so very much not in their interest.’’

‘‘But what is in their interest is keeping the members of the program in line and/or dead.’’

‘‘Exactly.’’

‘‘And the long con is? For us, I mean?’’

‘‘We’d be given the ‘‘all clear’’ to do as we wished with the ones in our registry and I plan on demanding the registry Snow was in, since he so clearly wasn’t in the ones Pod found.’’

Jaime nodded, as always, so very clearly on the same page.

‘‘So, what’s the next step? ‘‘

Brienne swallowed against a lump in her throat.

‘‘Approaching Stark. ‘‘

‘‘And expose ourselves?’’

‘‘No, not us. Me.’’

‘‘Brienne-’‘

‘‘No, just stop right there. My professional and personal relationship with Ned was always amicable. He was one of the few people in that place I could call a true friend. Even if he doesn’t agree with my plan, he’d never turn me in. And the fewer names he knows the better. I mean, after all, it was me who dragged you all into a sort of renegade life.’’

Jaime cupped her cheek, sensing her heart beating so fast it almost felt like a hummingbird was nesting in her chest.

‘‘Listen to me, Brienne Tarth. We have followed you because we love you. But that doesn’t mean that you made this decision for us. That doesn’t mean that we don’t believe in the cause. It means you’ve opened our eyes to it. Now, I agree, the less he knows, the better. But, I am coming with you. Have you forgotten, darling? For better or for worse.’’

Brienne smiled and lovingly stroked her engagement ring.

‘‘Okay.’’


	26. Chapter 26

  


Taena, Margaery and Adeline safely entrusted to the care of Pod and Missy in the Cotswolds, Bronn, Brienne and Jaime made their way to London.

Bronn, who adamantly refused to let the two of them alone to meet Stark , was driving, letting Jaime and Brienne rest a while in the back seat. The two and a half hour drive was peaceful and mostly contemplative for the three people, and they were all more than grateful. Brienne opted to doze for the majority, head pillowed against Jaime’s shoulder, the Major’s arm cradling her gently. Jaime himself faced the window, zoning out and barely noticing the passing scenery, every now and then gripping Brienne more securely.

‘‘Have you contacted him already?’’, Bronn  asked.

‘‘No. I think it’s best we get to London, rest up a bit and then I’ll make the call. I wanted to have a completely clear head for this. ‘‘

Bronn nodded, focus already back on the road as Brienne felt Jaime nuzzle into her hair.

‘‘You okay, darling?’’

He took a deep breath.

‘‘Yes, I just...I really need this to go smoothly. I dread the minute you’re in front of Stark. The moment he knows it’s you. I honestly couldn’t care less about myself, but…you...and Taena, too…I-’’

‘‘You feel just as powerless as before?’’

‘‘Yes. Only, now I  know how to deal with things and there is no fucking way I’m letting that bastard Snow live.’’

‘‘I know, darling. He is your Hyle Hunt. Very much not in the same way, but you know what I mean.’’

Jaime smiled through the nerves and took a deep breath. To Brienne, he was an open book and he was amazed at how much he loved the feeling.

‘‘Why don’t you try and get some sleep, hm? Let me guard the fear a while?’’

Jaime nodded, Brienne swiftly sitting up, letting Jaime get comfortable in her arms.

 

* * *

 

Ned Stark’s Belgravia home was always a thing of beauty and Brienne remembered how she used to relish the thought of Christmas parties and cocktail evenings he’d hosted and she’d attended with such joy. Now, the imposing edifice simply made her choke, rethink every single decision she’d ever made.

In the end she felt Jaime’s hand slip into hers and she was grounded. One more deep breath, she released Jaime and rang the bell. Bronn was ordered to wait round the corner with the car, despite his harsh protests.

 

* * *

  


The knowledge didn’t seem to shake Ned much. He simply nodded, steepling his fingers in front of his face in his usual thinking pose. Jaime couldn’t help but be reminded of Sherlock Holmes.

‘‘Ned? ‘‘

His eyes focused on Jaime’s face for a second before they returned to Brienne.

‘‘Oh, not to worry, Brienne. I’m just processing, you know me. I mean, of course, the thought had crossed my mind that it was you, but without any conclusive evidence – kudos on not leaving any trace behind by the way – I could do nothing. And as you well presume, I wouldn’t even try that hard. For what would be the point?’’

‘‘And now?’’

‘‘Well, I’m assuming you wouldn’t be here just to hand yourself in. I believe this is a negotiation. So…what have you for me?’’

Brienne smiled at the warmth and sincerity in the man’s eyes, despite the cold tone with which the words were uttered. She let out a minute sigh of relief.

‘‘We need authority. And we are willing to offer our services in return.’’

By the way Stark leaned only slightly forward told Jaime he was more than interested in what Brienne had to say, and furthermore that they had been on the same page for a while now.

 

* * *

  


‘‘All of the registries?’’ Bronn  asked, almost breathless with jitters.

‘‘Yes. There’s two more.’’ Jaime answered.

‘‘Conditions?’’

‘‘Target approval.’’

‘‘Final or…?’’

‘‘Yes. But we’ll get to that bridge and re-negotiate if and when necessary.  Besides, much as I like the man, in the end, what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.’’

Bronn and Jaime smiled approvingly at Brienne’s words as they piled back into the car headed back to the Cotswolds.

‘‘Have you heard from Pod and Missy?’’

‘‘All quiet on the home front.’’

‘‘Good.’’

Mind finally back on the notion of Ramsey Snow, images of Taena’s scars flashing in his mind, Jaime  ground his teeth before letting the huff of anger blossom into prolific planning.

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

''Pod, you and Bronn cover all the exit points. Brienne and I will be with Taena and Adeline will be tucked up safely in her room.''

‘‘What about me?’’

Jaime turned to an overwrought Margaery and sighed, compassion in his heart almost losing the battle against common sense.

‘‘Now, you know we can’t let him see you. The fewer people that agitate him the better. Stay in mine and Brienne’s room, your phone with you. It shouldn’t take long to grab him - I am most certainly not about to let that bastard alone with Taena longer than necessary. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. Taena and Adeline’s lives depend on it.’’

Somehow, Jaime seemed to temporarily misplace the rage that went through him the first time she learned of Brienne’s experience with Hunt. But right now, he was vividly reminded simply by looking at Margaery ’s face. He spoke again.

‘‘I’m sorry. I know. Believe me, I know, Margaery …but please, tell me you understand?’’

Teeth clenched, eyes wild, complexion paler than ever, Margaery  nodded sharply.

‘‘Yes. But the minute you-’‘

‘‘You will be the first person I call, as soon as it’s done. You can trust me. Taena and Adeline are as important to me as they are to you.’’

‘‘I know. Just…’’ swallowing hard, Margaery  took another fortifying deep breath. ‘‘Just finish it.’’

 

 

* * *

 

 

Brienne grit her teeth in anger before ducking for cover against yet another onset of bullets.

‘‘Jaime, what the fucking hell is happening?’’

‘‘Adeline!’’

Taena’s terrified voice brought them back to the present and the three of them ran to Adeline’s bedroom.

‘‘He knew we were here. Somehow he knew.’’

Brienne’s brain was on overtime as she tried to figure out how it could have all gone so terribly wrong.

One look at Jaime and she knew he had an idea as to what happened.

‘‘Later.’’

Brienne nodded and within seconds they had gathered Adeline and were on their way to Brienne’s room where they knew Margaery would be frantic with worry.

‘‘Margy!’’

Adeline cried out for the red-head, her heartbeat so wild Brienne could feel it from where she held the child close to her. Taena followed them in, almost catatonic.

Margaery took the child from Brienne and huddled closer to Taena, both women eagerly waiting for some kind of explanation.

A knock on the door took them by surprise.

‘‘Jaime,  Boss?’’

A sigh of relief on his lips upon hearing Pod’s voice, Jaime went to answer it, only to be stopped by Brienne, a  painful, questioning fear in her eyes.

No, Jaime shook her head, silently waving her worry away. Not Pod.

He looked so convinced that Brienne took a deep, reviving breath and let Pod in.

‘‘What the bloody hell’s going on??? Missy and I were in the back where you positioned us and all of a sudden it was bloody mayhem!!! Hail of bullets came out of nowhere! We only managed to start moving when they were reloading. Missy took a different route, to Adeline's room. I told her you’d probably have her by now, so when she’s done checking, she should be here. All is quiet now, but…it’s a rather big place, they could be biding their time.’’

In the minute it took for Pod to recount the story, a breathless Missy was back and relieved Adeline was safe. She gently carded her hand through Adeline’s hair and threw an encouraging smile at Taena and Margaery, the three of them now huddled on the bed, too shell-shocked to think properly.

Then, Missy turned to Jaime and Brienne.

‘‘What was that?’’

Jaime sighed. Processing the situation was quicker for him mostly because of something that had been bugging him since the day they went to see Stark. Even before that, if he was being perfectly honest. Since he was shot.

‘‘Jaime?’’

Brienne’s gentle voice carried Jaime out of his whirlwind of thoughts.

‘‘Tell me. Who?’’

Who was it that betrayed them? It was painfully obvious to everyone, but only Jaime had the strength to utter the name.

Taking a deep, shuddery breath, he swallowed against a hot, dry throat.

‘‘Bronn.’’

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

 

’’We need a plan.’’

It was Missy who piped up, hands on hips, eyes wide and expectant. Brienne snorted.

‘‘And those always go as planned for us don’t they?’’

Sensing the amount of anger and pure rage in her voice, Jaime shuffled closer, an arm sliding comfortingly across her shoulders.

‘’Brienne, I-’‘

He had no chance to finish his sentence because Brienne pulled away from the embrace, and busied herself by checking her ammo. Thus focused, the words just came pouring out.

‘‘Bronn, Jaime. And after we trusted him with everything! After you saved his fucking life! I vouched for him! And he goes ahead and does this! Puts a child’s life at risk like this?!’’

Brienne knew the pleading look in Jaime’s eyes was not about Bronn . It was for Adeline’s benefit. The girl was whimpering lightly in Margaery’s arms, her tiny arms grasping the front of the woman’s white shirt, Taena rubbing soothing circles on her back, her face buried in the crook of Margaery ’s neck.

Brienne merely managed to lower her voice and move to the furthest corner of the room. Jaime followed.

Stood in front of him, Brienne could feel it all rushing back. The close calls no one wanted to talk about, thinking them coincidences. And the greatest close call of all. That gut-shredding moment when she looked into Jaime’s eyes and witnessed as life slowly began leaving him only to seep out onto the concrete of that damned parking garage.

‘‘I don’t take lightly to insults, Jaime. I always make sure it is well known I won’t suffer fools gladly, and Bronn knows it. But this goes so much further than that. He...I...’’

Brienne tried to get her trembling under control but failed gloriously. Jaime enveloped her in his arms, and did his best to synchronize their breaths.

‘‘He almost took you away from me, Jaime.’’

Jaime looked at Brienne’s teary face, the heat rolling off the woman in waves. He didn’t know what to say, how to make any of it better. He knew very well that this is exactly what he would be feeling had the roles been reversed. The very thought made him light-headedly furious.

Brienne peeled herself away from the comfort of Jaime’s arms, and ran a hand across her face, coming back to herself, a strategy starting to form.

‘‘Right, this is how it’s going to go. Missy, Pod, I need you to go ahead and clear a path for me.’’

‘‘Brienne?’’

‘‘Don’t argue with me on this one, Jaime. You stay here with the girls. They are the priority and you know it. ‘‘

One look at Brienne’s now completely calm demeanor told Jaime he wouldn’t be able to change Brienne’s mind and nodded sharply, knowing that staying behind was their only option. He had the means and expertise to protect them and Brienne was needed out there with Missy and Pod. He witnessed Brienne unholster her gun and saw the darkness that flitted across her face. He tried to infuse as much comfort as he could in the look he gave her in return. Almost immediately, he could see her jaw unclench slightly, and her hands become steadier.

Jaime allowed himself the joy of a smile. The joy of knowing that the two of them would always be able to read each other like this. He nodded. He was past the point of caring for Bronn’s life. If that was the price of everyone else’s safety, he wouldn’t bat an eyelid. And Brienne...well, she will most definitely be Bronn’s executioner.

 


	29. Chapter 29

 

Brienne’s heart felt like it had climbed up into her throat as she rounded the corner, Missy and Pod had long walked ahead of her, presumably successful in their task, since her path was cleaner than if they’d used Mr. Muscle to sweep up.

She slid along a wall leading to the main hall and gestured for Missy to go around, and use the circular staircase she’d observed leading to the first floor. If all went well, they’d both have their share of rounding up villains and reconvene in the hall proper.

Oddly, the steel of the gun pressing against the small of her back wasn’t the first thing that alerted her to Bronn’s presence. It was his cologne. The same one she gave him for his birthday. And it only served to enrage her more.

’’ I see your stealth didn’t suffer the same demise as your loyalty.’’

‘‘Brienne-’’

‘‘Save it, there are no words.’’

Her heart going a mile a minute, she contemplated her options. The thing was, he knew them all. All her exit strategies. So, she may well go down in a blaze of glory, she wasn’t well going to allow any further bloodshed of innocents.

‘‘Where are you taking me?’’

He remained silent as they walked towards what she knew was Snow’s or rather Bolton Jr’s office.

Arriving at her originally planned destination, the hall, she braced for impact as she rammed her elbow into Bronn’s ribcage. He vaulted backwards, but only for a moment. Using the momentum of his arms that were pulling them both towards the ground she swung them so she was on top of him, on her back, her right arm going swiftly towards the gun he was still holding against her back.

She knew she was perhaps too late and as good as dead but she had to try. The echoing of the gunshot was a cold shower, nonetheless. She had no idea how to prepare for the pain that was sure to come, but what followed was certainly something she hadn’t expected. The warm liquid drenched the back of her silk shirt and it was only then she realized what had happened. She jumped away from Bronn and was on her feet within nanoseconds.

She turned to see Jaime still pointing a gun at a squirming Bronn.

‘‘Jaime, I…I told you -’’

‘‘I know. It was Margaery and Taena who made me follow you. Margaery has a gun, and knows how to use it. I knew I was leaving them in safe hands, even though I was torn.’’

Only then did Brienne allow relief to flood her and shakily embraced him.

‘‘Gods, Brienne. If I’d been a second late-’’

‘‘Don’t think about it. We’re alive, we’re okay.’’

There would be time for processing all of it later, they both knew it. Jaime placed a single soft kiss on Brienne’s lips after which they both turned to look at Bronn’s body.

Brienne assessed the wound on his abdomen. Unfortunately for him, it was fatal. And they were too far for an ambulance to do anything about it. Unlike Jaime’s, his was untreatable due to lack of opportunity. It would be a long and extremely painful death.

‘‘Jaime…’’

His voice garbled and wet from blood spewing at an alarming rate out of his mouth, he turned pleading eyes to his old partner. He knew what was being asked of him and he was willing to give it to him. A last mercy.

Brienne looked away.

As Jaime knelt by his side, Jaime took Bronn’s hand and smiled sadly, a ball of emotions in his tight throat roughening his voice.

‘‘Goodbye, Bronn.’’

Having pulled the trigger, Jaime sat back, more numb than ever. The sound of Bronn’s dead body hitting the cold marble would be a sound that would haunt him for years to come.

 


	30. Chapter 30

In the end, it was almost comical how quickly they got to Bolton. Pod had cleansed the way for them at a rapid rate, his strategy-encased brain coming to play at full capacity, bodies dropping around him like flies, while Brienne and Jaime walked in a morose haze to their destination. And when they stood in front of the man who'd been Bolton’s second in command, who'd been Taena's abuser for so long, both Brienne and Jaime felt like they had no strength left in them to experience any kind of feeling of success.

And yet, what provoked a wave of rage and spurred Brienne into action was the disgustingly condescending tone of the man’s voice. Mock-sweet and innocent, as if he wasn’t to blame for a good percentage of misery inflicted upon thousands of innocents across the globe.

''Brienne Tarth, as I live and breathe.''

She smirked without mirth, the fact he knew her face and name already enough to grate on her soul. The anger quickly petered back into indifference and she was grateful. She needed a steady and swift hand.

''Not for long.''

And just like that, matter-of-fact, swiftly and without warning, she'd plunged the pre-prepared syringe into his neck. No bullets for this one, it was too good for him. Jaime stood in the corner of the room with Pod. The three of them watched Bolton's body writhe in eviscerating pain.

It was sort of mist-like, this visual of him on the floor, in clear agony, but completely unable to let out a single cry. More than fitting. This one will definitely not go out with a bang but with a decidedly pathetic whimper, thought Jaime.

‘‘Pod.’’

The very utterance of his name had Pod in motion, already two steps ahead, as was his custom. Brienne felt an emotion knock on her crushed psyche’s door. It was pride for his loyalty and excellence. She allowed herself to feel it.

‘‘Got it, Boss.’’

As he rushed off to get Missy and commence the cleaning process, Brienne turned to Jaime.  She took a deep breath, hands slightly shaky. Jaime quickly grasped them tightly.

‘‘It’s alright, darling. It’s over now. Let’s go get Taena.’’

Brienne nodded and smiled weakly.

 

* * *

  


‘‘Ned, this is non-negotiable. Upon ransacking his office we found a gold mine of information. Information that is worth a lot to you, and I should know. So if you want our help, you’re going to have to work for it. I’m not in this because I like to travel the world. Either give me what I want or you can forget about my help.’’

Ned sighed and looked up at his friend. And then, after what seemed like an eternity, he nodded.

‘‘Alright, Brienne. Full reign it is. A new section. One that does not exist on paper. We can’t well admit to the actual existence of a ‘‘renegade vigilante’’ squad within MI6. Keep the info you have and dole it out as you see fit. But for now, take a little break. Surely after your latest venture you’ve deserved it?’’

Brienne sighed in relief. She knew he had to put up a semblance of a fight and that he was on her side. The weight on her shoulders felt that much lighter.

  
  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, a soft, fluffy, emotional epilogue will follow! :)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys this is it! A fluffy epilogue for this Braime incarnation. I hope you like the ending and thank you all so much for sticking with my little story! Leave a comment telling me what you liked, what you didn't like, what you felt could have been better, what you thought was spot on and of course, tell me about all the things you looooved (if any, ofc) ;)
> 
> xoxo  
> Tasha V.

**_Four years later_ **

''Pod, you got this.''

They boy she first started training all those years back shone through in the look he was giving her. She looked away lest she started bawling her eyes out, which, in her condition (damn it and all too fertile Jaime Lannister both!) was an all too common occurrence as of late.

She laid a hand on his shoulder and the other on her rounded belly, the symmetry of it all not lost on either of them.

Their work for MI6 as unofficial as it was, had come to an end when Brienne realized they had gone through almost two thirds of the registries. Along with the fact that Ned was working on minimizing the use of the Witness Protection Program made both Jaime and Brienne think it was time to put an end to their professional lives. Live for the sake of living this time.

So, three years in, Pod named her successor and Missy Jaime's, they'd retired and celebrated by having a quiet wedding ceremony in the Cotswalds. Neither felt like they needed anything more than the presence of Taena, Marge, Pod, Missy and the rings.

''Right then, I best be off. Missy will be waiting.'', said Pod, waking her from her reverie.

Brienne nodded,  not trusting her voice. This was the first really big mission he would be running on his own, with Missy as his second in command and Brienne couldn't help but feel worried for him. The location being the Middle East wasn't helping her anxiety much.

When he loaded the last bit of luggage into the car, he turned to her.

''We'll be back in time to see the little one be born.''

''No rushing, Podrick, not in our line of work. You will finish the mission when it is time, not a minute sooner.''

She gently admonished him but was glad he was thinking of the baby. Their child will never yearn for affection as it will be given in heaps.

''Yes, Boss.''

She hugged him – quick and to the point, before she sent him on his way. When his car was but a mere blip in ther distance, she allowed herself to let go of the emotions and tears made their way down her cheeks.

As she climbed back up to the first floor, she knew she needed to calm down before Jaime saw her and reprimanded her for getting upset. He was more worried about her and the baby than she was.

It had come as a surprise. Hunt's attack had left some doubt with regards to her ability to conceive and she'd told Jaime as much. But apparently, the Lion of Lannister's ever fruitful loins would not be deterred that easily. Within a month of trying, she'd become pregnant. They couldn’t believe their luck

And now, their new Sussex residence was indeed the home she hadn't even known she had forbidden herself to dream of ever since she first realized that Jaime returned her affections.

She roamed the first floor, passing the master bedroom, following the hallway down to the nursery. She could hear Jaime pottering about, assembling the crib, but decided to leave him to it rather than meddle. She knew that things like those, setting up the room, picking out the colors, they were things that fed his soul. And she was tired and so very pregnant and above all, she trusted him, so she had handed over the pattern and wallpaper choosing over to her superbly joyous husband.

Her phone pinged in her pocket alerting her to the fact that Taena and Margaery had arrived to drop Adeline off as they were going away for an extended weekend getaway.

Adeline, the proud six-year-old cousin to be, was the ball of energy now as she had been when she was three, always buzzing with laughter and heartfelt happiness. When around ''Auntie Brienne'', she knew her elation needed to be toned down for the sake of the baby that would soon come into their world and Brienne cherished the afternoons spent with Adeline combing through her hair(for the first time in ages, she had let it grow out and it was now touching her shoulders), and after she'd doze off, she'd often wake to hear the little girl talking to the baby in Brienne's stomach affectionately.

* * *

 

''Auntie Brienne!''

''Addie, darling, what did we say?'' Taena said, as Adeline covered her mouth with her tiny hands.

''Sorry, Auntie Brienne, sorry baby girl.''

''She keeps saying it's a girl'', Brienne laughed.

''I know, I have no idea why, maybe it's a wish more than anything'' noticed Taena.

Brienne leaned in conspiratorially.

''I think it's Jaime's wish, too. He keeps saying he doesn't want to know the gender, as long as it's a happy healthy baby, but...He wants a girl to spoil.''

Margaery smiled and Taena put Adeline's overnight bag on the sofa in the sitting room.

''Brie, I need a  drink before we leave, can I get a Sprite from the kitchen?''

''Sure, I'll show you where it is, we've done some reshuffling last week, I can barely get my bearings in there and the drinks we got are still not in their rightful place.''

''Babe, you wait for me in the car, the M23 is gonna be a bitch to maneuver, we might as well hurry up''

Marge nodded and kissed Addie and Brienne goodbye.

* * *

 

''So...''

''So?''

As Taena sipped her drink she thoughtfully observed Brienne.

''Myrcella and Tommen. Finally visiting. How are you feeling about that?''

Brienne leaned back against the granite counter top.

''I knew of him and Cersei and all that it entailed ever since I had known Jaime for a mere three months. And as long as Cersei isn't around, who am I to deny him his own children?''

Taena was taken aback, to say the least.

''Wow...I just...never thought Jamie would ever sever his ties to Cersei, the wretched viper she is, let alone find someone as perfect for him as you are. Never change, Brie.''

Brienne waved away the praise, the deep blush on her cheeks giving away her embarrassment.

''Wouldn't dream of it m'lady. Now, I believe your girlfriend is waiting for you, and if that sun gets any hotter, your car will melt into the gravel of our driveway.''

''Yes, you're right. Give my best to James. I'd go and do it myself, but time is a precious commodity and also,  I know he is way too into his home makeover to take any notice.''

''Good point, he is quite the craftsman with a hammer and nails these days.''

Taena smiled, knowing Brienne was right. Jaime Lannister, a DIY king indeed. She shook her head fondly.

''Right, well, I'm off, see you in three days!''

* * *

 

As she lay in bed that night, she could feel Jaime stirring, even though his body was completely static.

''Jaime?''

''Mhm?''

He made an effort to sound sleepy, but she knew better. She would always know him better than anyone else.

''You're overthinking things again and it's keeping the baby awake. Well, it's keeping me awake, and by extension, her.''

''Her?''

At the word she used, he jumped up, green eyes impossibly ecstatic.

''Calm down, it was a figure of speech. Slip of the tongue. Wishful thinking. I suppose you hoping for a girl – and don't deny it, you are – made me think and imagine a little girl as well. No that a boy wouldn't be equally loved, of course.''

He pressed his lips to hers, agreeing completely.

''You need to stop fretting about Myrcella and Tommen. They are wonderful children and they will love their new baby brother or baby sister. ''

He turned to face her fully, leaning above her, mapping out her face with his eyes.

''What is it, you've disappeared on me again?''

Grabbing his bicep firmly, she brought him back to the present. He smiled that leonine grin of his that always knotted her insides and it was no different now. She turned under him more comfortably.

''I think you need something to take your mind off things right now. We both do.''

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively before reversing their positions, gently propping himself under her, sliding his hands under the hem of the oversized t shirt she wore in lieu of pajamas. As his fingers encountered molten liquid, feeling just how ready she was for him, he was never more grateful that in the final stages of her pregnancy she had stopped wearing underwear at night. Too impractical, she'd said, and he couldn't agree more.

As she slid onto him, a feeling of what could only be described as adoration of the primal kind overtook his entire body, and for a moment, he could swear he had blacked out. But when sapphire locked onto emerald, that sense of belonging, of home, grounded him and made him find his way back to her.

* * *

 

It felt like she had been screaming for hours. She absolutely had no idea how she was still able to produce sound. The pain was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. If she had any strength to spare she’d have cursed him out six ways to Sunday, but as she was absolutely and totally tired out, she recognized the impulse as silly and irrational and besides, all she was able to do between contractions was breathe and try gather enough power for frustrated shrieks when another one inevitably hit her.

From between her legs she could hear Margaery encouraging her, praising her bravery, promising it would all be over soon. Jaime was ensconced behind her, holding her hands, supporting her as she beared down on him, tidal wave upon tidal wave of horrific aches lathering themselves against her tired form.

From the corner of her eye she could see Myrcella, eyes wide and terrified.

''Myrcy, I thought I told you to stay with your brother and Adeline?'' Brienne heard Jamie gently reprimand his daughter. Brienne focused on the long blonde hair as she felt yet another contraction was about to hit. For the girl's sake, she tried to calm her breaths and power through with no additional screams. She wasn't about to be the one to put her off the idea of childbirth.

Instead, she gently raised her left hand, beckoning her over.

Heavy breaths marring her speech pattern, she leaned back against Jamie's chest as Myrcella came closer.

''Is...Is there anything I can do, Brienne?''

Brienne fought valiantly not to start crying there and then, she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to stop.

''No, darling, just seeing your lovely face is enough help.''

And she meant it. Myrcella and Tommen both resembled Jaime greatly. And for that, no matter how they came to be, she couldn't help but love them even more. Her baby was so lucky.

Myrcella grasped her hand tight, settling herself on the edge of the bed, her eyes determined. Brienne realized she too was bracing for the following contraction and smiled at her step-daughter.

''Here we go, wench, no backing out now.'' She heard Jamie whisper into her ear. It was all she needed to propel her forward.

One more hideously painful spasm hit her and then...she was free of the terror. Their child's wails pierced the air of the room lit by the sunshine of that early August morning.

Margaery smiled, as she handed the child over to an astounded Brienne and Jaime.

''Congratulations, Mummy, Daddy...you have a daughter.''

Brienne felt her throat close up at the sight of the tiny little bundle in her arms. The tiny tuft of golden hair on her perfect head, the milky celestial of her eyes Jaime knew immediately would turn a tempestuous blue, to rival her mother's. And when their daughter caught hold of Brienne's finger and smiled up at her parents, both of them felt so complete it scared them.

When Taena, Tommen, Pod, Missy and Adeline all filed into the room, they both allowed the tears of joy to come.

''Everyone'', spoke Brienne, voice raspy and teary, ''we’d like you meet Joanna Lannister.''

Jaime leaned down and placed a tiny kiss on his daughter’s forehead, emotions making his next words come out in a reverent whisper.

‘’My perfect Tarth lion cub.’’

 

 

 

 


End file.
